Me, myself and I - lost - died spiritually

[Deade]

Hello Simon, welcome to CF.
I hope you'll enjoy your stay here.

 

[Eternal Seeker]

I loved the Lord and served Him. Then I fell away from His love and grace. I was graffed into the original olive tree. Now living this hell without the flames and its horrors. During the time of falling my love grew cold and I had a heart which tried several times to apostatize. Being forced by the devil, it apostatized. My mind didn't. Consequently, I lost the Holy Spirit and I died spiritually. The living Lord disappeared from my life. I became as dead as possible. I just live having no thoughts. Furthermore, I'm full of pride and selfishness. It is so weak to get humble. Hebrews 6:4-6. The love died from my soul when the heart apostatized. I ruined the personal relationship with the Lord. Ending up in hell... Nobody ever understands me...

Sorry for your suffering. Perhaps a medication will help sounds like it's something beyond just spiritual stuff. I'm sure spirituality does play a role but so does chemical inbalances.

 

[Landon Caeli]

MOD hat off​

 

[FutureAndAHope]

I loved the Lord and served Him. Then I fell away from His love and grace. I was graffed into the original olive tree. Now living this hell without the flames and its horrors. During the time of falling my love grew cold and I had a heart which tried several times to apostatize. Being forced by the devil, it apostatized. My mind didn't. Consequently, I lost the Holy Spirit and I died spiritually. The living Lord disappeared from my life. I became as dead as possible. I just live having no thoughts. Furthermore, I'm full of pride and selfishness. It is so weak to get humble. Hebrews 6:4-6. The love died from my soul when the heart apostatized. I ruined the personal relationship with the Lord. Ending up in hell... Nobody ever understands me...

Let's have a look at Hebrews 6.

Heb 6:4-6 For it is impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted of the heavenly gift, and were made partakers of the Holy Ghost, And have tasted the good word of God, and the powers of the world to come, If they shall fall away, to renew them again unto repentance; seeing they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put him to an open shame.

Ok, Hebrews 6 is talking about genuine Christians, that they can be saved, but eventually fall away from God. It is a warning to persist in faith. Now, look at the bolded section to see what a Christian must "do" to fall away. They must "crucify Christ again". But now let's shoot a few passages into Hebrews.

Heb 9:27-28 And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment: So Christ was once offered to bear the sins of many; and unto them that look for him shall he appear the second time without sin unto salvation.

What do we see the cross covers a lifetime of sins and failures? As man dies once, so Christ was offered once to carry their sins.

The fact is that:

1Jn 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

The person described in Hebrews 6, in order to crucify Christ again, must have died in sin, physically died. Only in that state is the cross not available.

So regardless of your actions, the cross is still available to carry your sins. You just need to return to God, repent, turn around.