karisma said:
Why is it that something that makes you feel so good is considered bad? I'm sure this is really controversial but I have been considering this for some time...try to forget every piece of government propaganda you've been fed about this:
Ecstasy was the first drug I ever tried. And it was literally like what I imagine heaven must be like. I feel like I experienced the way the world was supposed to be, without all of the mental and social barriers that I had put up all around me-in fact, I didn't even know that they existed until they were gone. I was able to look all around me, everything seemed so fresh and new. My vision was actually enhanced so that I could see every individual blade of grass and bump and curvature of the land, the exact way the leaves moved in the trees. And I was able to talk to people, to feel a real connection. People with whom I was always a little uncomfortable around before, I could now talk to with ease, and empathize with them. I felt free. I experienced this powerful substance many times, not to get "messed up," but to feel that freedom from my everyday inhibitions, to see the world from a different perspective. I haven't used in over a year, but I have still kept many strong friendships with these people, and carry those feelings, the openness, the love, the empathy, with me even while not using.
How can something that is so beautiful be bad? How do we know that the world that we see today is the way the world really is? We see the world through our own past experiences and expectations. Can ecstasy let us see things how they really are?
First of all: It's very nice to meet you Karisma, I'm Juleigh or Jules.
I appreciate the time you've taken to put something like this into words on a Christian forum, i can't say i know many people who would have the guts to do the same given the stigma of methylenedioxymethamphetamine. I hope that i can contribute in some way to your questions here, there are alot of things that can't be discussed on CF due to the nature of the board, so if you have any questions or would like to talk privately about anything, feel free to PM me.
The most important thing to understand about Ecstacy (or MDMA) is it's function on our body - it's a stimulant which causes the sensory receptors in your brain to release more of a natural chemical than it usually would. Your body naturally produces and regulates a flow of this chemical, known as Serratonin, it is responsible for your natural contenance, or feelings of well being. People suffering chemical depression are often suffering from either a lack of Serratonin being produced, or not enough Serratonin being released.
The feelings that you describe - empathy, friendliness towards others, a removal of social and emotional barriers, freedom of inhibitions, are all by-products of forcing your body to release more Serratonin (or chemical happiness) than it naturally should - it's an artificial euphoria.
Is it real? No. It's our body tricking us into percieving things without any negativity, we cannot see the bad side of anything or make accurate judgements of evaluations because we are in an altered reality of just too much happiness. Does it allow us to see the world the way the world really is? No. We actually immobilise ourselves from being able to make a clear judgement, just as a depressed person finds it hard to see the positive or feel good (because of the
lack of serratonin) we find it difficult to see the potential obsticles, problems, negatives in an enhanced state of happiness (because of the
over release of serratonin). Can Ecstacy let us see things how they really are? No. While we may notice positives and other good things we weren't able to before, we are less able to see the opposite side of the spectrum. We loose one to gain the other. Does it allow us to form real relationships or bonds with other people? Yes and No. It does enhance our social skills because we are no longer wary, guarded, or analysing of the other person, we have immobilised our brains from being able to do so, and therefore are more inclined to find the positives and common ground in other people. Being able to do that after drug use is possible, because we have found things that we like in that person, and strive to work for the bond formed. The initial friendship and meeting tends to be artificial - though nice at the time - it
is artificial for the reasons i have explained above. Of course, just because we meet and bond with the other person in a chemically-altered state, doesn't mean we can't pusue the positives we saw in them for a fully functional friendship. It does allow us a limited positive insight into the person, however it is biased and incomplete.
I should say, i have used Ecstasy many many times in the past, and am all too familar with the effects personally.
I am a part of the underground rave scene and grew up with a Mother in the field of social work - i have seen and learned alot over the years, and am familar with the ideas you present in your post. While I agree that positive things can be taken away from an experience that is seen as inherritly bad. I cannot condone it's use though, because it
does alter your mind, and
is detrimental in long term use. It eventually damages your sensory receptors permanently, some people end up permanently depressed because their brain can no longer produce and regulate serratonin after being forced by other chemicals to work differently. You may notice that after you used, the next few days you felt a bit groggy, maybe a little unhappy/depressed - when you use Ecstacy and release all the extra saved serratonin, it takes your brain a few days/a week/sometimes longer to produce enough serratonin to begin releasing it and regulating it as normal again. The long term damage is problems in production & regulation.
Edited to add: I hope you get a chance to read this, if you want to discuss it further, feel free to reply here, PM me or even email me at the address in my profile. God bless you!
