Maybe it was me?

[fields316_2000]

My xwife was caught cheated 2 years ago. from that point she went out and left the house, all the unpaid bills mortgage and debt to me-
took the kids and it's been a 2 year battle for custody for me just to get 50%., which is still going on..she has a lawyer that constantly postpones meetings and adds months to the situation. im garnished of half of everything i'm earning to her and she decides when or if she's working. she has the man she cheated on me with positioned to take my place and spend time with my kids. she pulled another lil manipulation with the irs that i just found out about that will cost ME up to 6 grand in back pay to them based on her filing information she shouldnt have.

all this im going through and no one knows about it. i tried to work it out with her and plead for her to work it out with the family and she was nt hearing it she was happy in adultery.

i lost my wife.
i lost my kids
i lost my wages
i lost me self confidence

and through it all i thought my family would at least be there for me and stick up for me or support me. they spoke great words of what they will and will not do , or if they could reach her they'd at least have a talk with her about morality since she's keeping the kids away from me for profit.

well, my mom and sister ran into this woman shopping the other day. do you think anyone said a word about hte games she played? or stuck up for me? nope. they hugged and made sure she was healthy and doing ok. she had my sister and moms support, then they called me to tell me to stop giving in to her games. i am crushed and honestly starting to feel like maybe she was right and IM the villian that God is punishing. Maybe he is awarding her for cheating and approving of the things she's donig because she's successful. i have no one to talk to what so ever so im here posting

 

[bethrow]

I have no words of advice...but what a terrible situation. God is not punishing you. You are not the villian. You've done everything right by her. I'm sorry your family is not supportive of you and are not helping you.
My prayers are with you today that God will see you through this entire situation.

 

[Steffenfield]

If you ever need to talk more personally about this with someone, seriously, hit me back.

I'd love to listen and support you through your struggle.

God bless.

 

[dorig59]

I am so sorry. I wish I could do something to make it better. You really, truly got a bad deal going on here. OOOh, I HATE all that nonsense with the lawyers. They can make everything take forever and cost an exhorbitant amount of money, it's SICK the way the system is set up. Have you had the chance to tell your family members everything that has really transpired? If not, maybe you should do so. Misplaced loyalty is not a good thing.

IT WASN'T YOU!!!

 

[fields316_2000]

my mom and sister were there from the beginning. i was literally homeless for a few weeks so i had to bounce from place to place with a bag of clothes and a pile of court papers. they knew it ; but i guess even family enjoys seeing me down because they got on my case about all the things i ever did wrong or my attitude as a teen or what ever. even my dad in texas told me that it was my problem and wouldnt get involved but to 'keep him updated'. after its all said and done i'll get through it but be biter and hostile to people around me...and again i'll be the bad guy.
so far all im doing is reading my bible and working out..thats about it

 

[dorig59]

Do you have any close friends, a church/fellowship, a pastor that would be supportive, a Bible study group? I'm really upset for you about the attitudes of your family.

 

[Hipsterz]

Find a divorce care group of men who can identify with you and get to know you and your situation and help you. If my family did that to me after my wife did that to me they would be dead to me.

 

[bored]

My xwife was caught cheated 2 years ago. from that point she went out and left the house, all the unpaid bills mortgage and debt to me-
took the kids and it's been a 2 year battle for custody for me just to get 50%., which is still going on..she has a lawyer that constantly postpones meetings and adds months to the situation. im garnished of half of everything i'm earning to her and she decides when or if she's working. she has the man she cheated on me with positioned to take my place and spend time with my kids. she pulled another lil manipulation with the irs that i just found out about that will cost ME up to 6 grand in back pay to them based on her filing information she shouldnt have.

all this im going through and no one knows about it. i tried to work it out with her and plead for her to work it out with the family and she was nt hearing it she was happy in adultery.

i lost my wife.
i lost my kids
i lost my wages
i lost me self confidence

and through it all i thought my family would at least be there for me and stick up for me or support me. they spoke great words of what they will and will not do , or if they could reach her they'd at least have a talk with her about morality since she's keeping the kids away from me for profit.

well, my mom and sister ran into this woman shopping the other day. do you think anyone said a word about hte games she played? or stuck up for me? nope. they hugged and made sure she was healthy and doing ok. she had my sister and moms support, then they called me to tell me to stop giving in to her games. i am crushed and honestly starting to feel like maybe she was right and IM the villian that God is punishing. Maybe he is awarding her for cheating and approving of the things she's donig because she's successful. i have no one to talk to what so ever so im here posting

I would get out of the country ASAP, she is going to bankrupt you and then some (since you cant bankrupt out of child support). Men like you are the first victems of the new america (just look at the new laws going into effect in flordia where they can stick you with a needle if they suspect you are drinking and driving). I think alot of men dont do it because they some how think that they are going to win in court and get their kids, that almost never happens and like you said even though you got 50% custody you still end up getting bled dry, how is that fair?

If you can realize that the courts are not on your side and are willing to let your kids go you can rebuild your life somewhere else, but alot of men some how think they can beat the system, and end up destitute. Make sure you dont get dilenquint on payments or they can take your pass port. Hopefully you have skills and a resume so that countries like germany will let you in, you have to go where it makes the most financial sense to live.

The key things you should be spending money on right now is your transportation (hopefully its paid for), a lap top with wifi, a copy of roseta stone so you can learn a new language and a passport maybe a really small studio appt so you can set up a desk to work from if you can get one for dirt cheap, hopefully you have a sought after skill like engineering or science. Thats what I invested my time and money into because no one can take it from you and degrees in engineering and science are not held in by political boarders. I would stop paying rent and all thoes sorts of bills, you will need that money to get a pass port and buy plane tickets. Dont tell anyone what you are doing, that is key. You can also look for multinational companies that could employ you in germany or another country you would want to live in that does not have reciprocity with the USA (even if they do as long as no one knows who you work for or where you went it will be impossible for them to garnish wages, they could track you via your SSN but you could try to hire on as a contractor with a tax stamp so your SSN is not attached, just play what ever angle you can to get yourself physically located there then you can start the application for citizenship and go to any US embasy and renounce your US citizen ship at which point they cant touch you. It will be quite the process but what better things do you have to do here besides loose everything and be poor.

The trick is to be preparing for these things before they actually happen, building the networks, getting a passport, having the skills and learning the language. I am working on a masters in a second engineering disipline and going to finish my pilots licence this summer and then start leaning german myself with my wife. Everyone thinks its crazy talk to flee your nation of orgin but things are starting to get out of control in the US and its better to be safe than sorry.

 

[iambren]

Maybe it WAS you OR you have a very disloyal family to be "sucking up" to her that way. I would be hurt too.

Divorce care group would help emotionally but legally you're going to have to take the offense; don't let her having you react to her every move or you may lose even more.
Good luck.