This is more stream of conscious thought that I'm throwing out for discussion than it is me trying to convince anyone that I know what I'm talking about (frequently I don't).
As humans we all still have the tendancy to go back to living by the Law. We're looking for rules and equations on how to live life. So we've approached dating the same way, what are the rules and equations for dating? Check out your local Christian book store and there's a plethora of books on the "right" way to date, and each of them is different. The Bible spells out some important guidelines for us, but doesn't give us much in the way of details (especially since the marriages were set up by the parents, dating is so 20th century). So maybe what we need to do is step back and look at the heart of what dating (and ultimately marriage is supposed to be) and approach dating from that.
2 Corinthians 6:14-15 tells us that we should not bind ourselves to an unbeliever.
What was God's intention for Eve when He created her? She was to be a suitable helper for Adam (because the Good Lord knows that men need all the help they can get). So for both men and women we should have some idea of the direction that the Lord is taking them in and one of the qualifications for our spouse is that they are moving in the same direction. The way our pastor put it, we're running the race and we find someone who is running in the same direction at the same pace as us.
God's intention for marriage was to be a model of Christ's love for His Church. A Godly relationship should reflect the love of Christ.
I'm sure there's more I could go into there, but it's late and I think it's important that each of us study the Word to discover God's purpose for marriage for ourselves (yes, I mean that instead of reading a book about someone's opinion we should go to the Word of God).
As far as finding that person, it's a journey of faith and if you watch how Jesus works there is no formula or equation to how He works. Jesus never performed a miricle the same way twice. God used crazy and unorthodox methods all through time to accomplish His purpose. So I think trying to find one "right" way for us to find our spouse is really trying to go back to legalism.
We need to know ourselves. We need to discover what we want. We need to know our strengths and weaknesses. We need to discover how to listen to God's leading. Then we need to approach finding our spouse using all of these things together to determine our approach. Maybe one person finds that dating a lot of different people and going out without much basis of a relationship to start from is a healthier way to approach it for them. For others that could be dangerous. That person may need to wait for God to arrange the circumstances and bring around that person. Maybe others need to take a different approach.
I don't know, this is just me playing with a thought. Each of our hearts operate in a different way and we're really being foolish if we try to operate like we're all the same. I do believe there are dangerous ways to approach relationships. Some people can get really hurt if they do it wrong, ok a lot of people can get really hurt. That's why we have to first know how to listen to God and know ourselves. We need to know our hearts well enough to know where we get hurt, and then guard our hearts. We need wise counselors to help us work through these things. Maybe sit down with someone and ask them to give us guidance on how we should approach it. Both Yahoo personals and e-harmony offer free relationship profiles. I'm not advocating online dating (I'll say it works for some and not for others), but I have taken those tests and it does give some interesting insight. It may not be Gospel Truth, but it can help us know ourselves better.
Each person that proclaims a certain dating strategy has people that is has worked for and people it hasn't. Maybe it's time to be honest with ourselves and say that there's not a magic formula to find our spouse. We must begin with a solid relationship with Jesus Christ, He must be our heart's desire and the One who fulfills us. We must learn how to listen to Him and trust Him. Then we can step out in the journey of faith trusting the Lord to guide our steps, and know that our path may look different from someone elses (as long as it is in line with Scripture).
As humans we all still have the tendancy to go back to living by the Law. We're looking for rules and equations on how to live life. So we've approached dating the same way, what are the rules and equations for dating? Check out your local Christian book store and there's a plethora of books on the "right" way to date, and each of them is different. The Bible spells out some important guidelines for us, but doesn't give us much in the way of details (especially since the marriages were set up by the parents, dating is so 20th century). So maybe what we need to do is step back and look at the heart of what dating (and ultimately marriage is supposed to be) and approach dating from that.
2 Corinthians 6:14-15 tells us that we should not bind ourselves to an unbeliever.
What was God's intention for Eve when He created her? She was to be a suitable helper for Adam (because the Good Lord knows that men need all the help they can get). So for both men and women we should have some idea of the direction that the Lord is taking them in and one of the qualifications for our spouse is that they are moving in the same direction. The way our pastor put it, we're running the race and we find someone who is running in the same direction at the same pace as us.
God's intention for marriage was to be a model of Christ's love for His Church. A Godly relationship should reflect the love of Christ.
I'm sure there's more I could go into there, but it's late and I think it's important that each of us study the Word to discover God's purpose for marriage for ourselves (yes, I mean that instead of reading a book about someone's opinion we should go to the Word of God).
As far as finding that person, it's a journey of faith and if you watch how Jesus works there is no formula or equation to how He works. Jesus never performed a miricle the same way twice. God used crazy and unorthodox methods all through time to accomplish His purpose. So I think trying to find one "right" way for us to find our spouse is really trying to go back to legalism.
We need to know ourselves. We need to discover what we want. We need to know our strengths and weaknesses. We need to discover how to listen to God's leading. Then we need to approach finding our spouse using all of these things together to determine our approach. Maybe one person finds that dating a lot of different people and going out without much basis of a relationship to start from is a healthier way to approach it for them. For others that could be dangerous. That person may need to wait for God to arrange the circumstances and bring around that person. Maybe others need to take a different approach.
I don't know, this is just me playing with a thought. Each of our hearts operate in a different way and we're really being foolish if we try to operate like we're all the same. I do believe there are dangerous ways to approach relationships. Some people can get really hurt if they do it wrong, ok a lot of people can get really hurt. That's why we have to first know how to listen to God and know ourselves. We need to know our hearts well enough to know where we get hurt, and then guard our hearts. We need wise counselors to help us work through these things. Maybe sit down with someone and ask them to give us guidance on how we should approach it. Both Yahoo personals and e-harmony offer free relationship profiles. I'm not advocating online dating (I'll say it works for some and not for others), but I have taken those tests and it does give some interesting insight. It may not be Gospel Truth, but it can help us know ourselves better.
Each person that proclaims a certain dating strategy has people that is has worked for and people it hasn't. Maybe it's time to be honest with ourselves and say that there's not a magic formula to find our spouse. We must begin with a solid relationship with Jesus Christ, He must be our heart's desire and the One who fulfills us. We must learn how to listen to Him and trust Him. Then we can step out in the journey of faith trusting the Lord to guide our steps, and know that our path may look different from someone elses (as long as it is in line with Scripture).
