May as well ask...

[amazed_by_grace]

Since I have nowhere else to ask this question I may as well ask it here... I have been SIing for a year and a half now and some people from church have found out over the course of that time... one friend in particular was wonderful..she has moved away though.. she just listened to me, prayed with and for me, and very importantly she acted normally around me afterwards. She always asked how I was and checked my arms but she treated me just like she always had and she just hung out and had fun with me... but other people reacted really differently. They make me feel horribly guilty about it.... of course I know that I shouldn't SI and that it hurts God but they just preached at me and told me it needed to stop right away without really wondering or asking what was causing me to SI... they treat me differently as if my SI makes me a bad Christian.. I don't think they mean to.. I know that they care but can someone tell me whether I'm just having a big pity party over nothing or if they really don't get it and I need to talk to someone more helpful? They say that my SI means that there's something wrong in my relationship with God... Does my SI mean that I'm a bad Christian? I thought it was just that I cope with things in the wrong way and I should learn to do it differently but am I wrong? Please help...

 

[Bevlina]

No Pet, you are not having a pity party, you are hurting deeply inside I believe.
I am a Christian, and instead of preaching at you, I would sooner do what your friend is doing, treat you like a normal person. Because that is what you are, You don't need to be talked at. And you don't need to be preached at. What you need is love, love and alot more love just as that wonderful friend you have is doing. How fortunate you are to have her.
You are 17 years old, at the time in your life when you should be happy and carefree.
But, whatever it is inside you is preventing this.
So you have what you really need, that one good friend who cares for and loves you.
What a friend!! Praise God!!

 

[amazed_by_grace]

Thank you... she is amazing but the problem is that she moved away last summer and now she lives 1000s of miles away...that's why I feel so alone now... I'm really scared that I'll start to SI again.. I haven't for just over 2 months...

 

[Hidden face_Hurting heart]

I'm so sorry, Amazed. I know what it's like to move away from friends...3 years ago I moved thousands of miles away from mine. I've never had a friend so close as the one you described, but it still hurts. Now I don't really have any friends at all, just a couple people I talk with at church when I'm there. I encourage you to stay in contact with her as closely as possible. E-mail, IM, set up times to call every week, write letters, plan visits even. Even if things don't end up working out to see each other, just planning it feels good. Also be praying for God to put someone else in your life who is understanding and sympathetic to support you.

 

[Bevlina]

How sorry I am that she has moved so far away! But I agree with every word Hidden has said. Keep close, very close contact amazed. She is so important in your life.

 

[amazed_by_grace]

We try out best but I'm in Ireland and she's in Tennessee so its a big difference! Plus she's real busy with college all the time..... I'm really feeling super-numb lately... i've started to do the thing that you can't mention in posts cause they'll get edited again...

 

[goldenviolet]

Dear Amazed by grace (me too ) hee hee
hun, even christians struggle with problems. what makes you a good christian, is that you give these problems to Jesus and seek out His will.
we all have to start somewhere. so some of us are not healled "poof" ... sometimes we have to unlearn and re-learn and struggle. you are still God's child when you struggle. if you have christian friends that critisize you instead of lift you up, then maybe this is something they don't understand. we all need eachother. all of our faults and short cummings Christ touches us to shape one another. hang in there.... oh, and even people's lack of understanding shapes us. we can't go wrong searching out God's will!
i'm proud of you for trying so hard. love and blessings, dee

 

[madison1101]

[/QUOTE] Does my SI mean that I'm a bad Christian? I thought it was just that I cope with things in the wrong way and I should learn to do it differently but am I wrong? Please help...[/QUOTE]

Sweetie,
Your SI is no different than my alcoholism, or eating disorder. It means you are a person who has been hurt, and has learned an unhealthy coping skill. Jesus loves you, and wants you to learn to trust Him with your hurts so that you don't have to hurt yourself anymore. I am memorizing some truths about God and me. Try saying them to yourself before you SI.

God is who He says He is.
God can do what He says He can do.
I am who God says I am.
I can do all things through Christ.
God's Word is alive and living in me.

Believe that. Learn who God is. Learn what He can do. Learn who you are according to God. Learn what you can do through Christ. Learn God's Word, and let it live in you.

Hugs,
Madison

 

[BlackRain]

i know that when i SI i loved the Lord. i didn't think of it as a huge problem. now, i understand the seriousness of it and i'm movin on far away from that. but, i don't think it makes you a bad christian. now, all that said, God does want us to be Christ like. i'll just leave it at that...
you CAN conquer this! i know you can! The Lord will give you the strength you need to overcome what you're going thru. God loves you sooo much!! embrace him. my heart goes out to you, girl!!