Maturity differences

[welshchick]

Do you think that all relationships have maturity differences between the girl and guy? Do you think it can be a problem in a relationship too?

My boyfriend is a year older than me, but i'm more mature than him. Sometimes i really struggle with this. But how do you deal with it? I can't tell him to 'grow up'! Also, a lot of his friends are younger than him too (i don't have a problem with this - i have friends younger than me), but i guess that maybe doesn't help his maturity as he spends a lot of time with them. I don't know, it just worries me sometimes, particularly at the moment. I kind of feel way ahead of him at the moment, and while i hate feeling that, i have to admit that it gets at me and worries me a lot. especially if we are to spend the future together. should i really be worried do you think? or maybe do i need to get a grip?

 

[f U z ! o N]

well what do you think you are more mature on then him?

 

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

well what do you think you are more mature on then him?

This is a good question.

Girls in general do mature faster than boys. That's just how it is. Yet, that doesn't mean that two people aren't compatable.

My bf is about 4 years older than me. Sometimes I see areas where I really think to myself "he should be maturer." but I've gotten better at handling it because this is just how it is. And then there are some things that I think, "whooa! He is so much maturer than me in this!" It just varies. We all have our strengths and weaknesses.

 

[Maeyken]

My fiance is 8 years older than me, and in general he's a bit more mature than me. He is definitely way more mature in some things, but even so there have been a few times when I've been surprised at how kid-like he can be. I think a lot of our differences have to do with life experiences. Being 8 years older, he's had a lot more life experiences than I have, and sometimes it shows- like when we were buying our house- yup, I was definitely clueless, but he knew what was going on.

Perhaps your BF's have just had less experiences than you, which does make a big difference in maturity levels. Living alone (or at least away from home), working full time, going to school, getting a car, etc... these are all things that increase maturity- you have to grow up! If you haven't done many of these type of things, of course you're not going to have the knowledge and experience of someone who has.

And, as always, remember that guys *do* mature slower than girls. Eventually they catch up.

 

[joeman1]

The thing is this yes guys do mature but we will always be like a kid in our own way. Like me for instance I can still play my video games and watch a good cartoon. Sure it might be kiddy but that doesn't show lack of maturity. Now if he is doing bodly funcitons or showing lack of respect with bad jokes or something thats comepletly different. Heck one night my Girlfriend and I skipped around my college campus. It was childish yes but we had fun and a great time and well to be honest God wants us to enjoy life and if it means acting like a kid at times then so be it.

 

[f U z ! o N]

i'll never lose that little kid inside of me. and that does not mean im immature

 

[joeman1]

nope and fuz!on I read your post about giving things up and well I must commend you for that. You have matured beyond your years on that one.

 

[Mskedi]

Do you think that all relationships have maturity differences between the girl and guy? Do you think it can be a problem in a relationship too?

My boyfriend is a year older than me, but i'm more mature than him. Sometimes i really struggle with this. But how do you deal with it? I can't tell him to 'grow up'! Also, a lot of his friends are younger than him too (i don't have a problem with this - i have friends younger than me), but i guess that maybe doesn't help his maturity as he spends a lot of time with them. I don't know, it just worries me sometimes, particularly at the moment. I kind of feel way ahead of him at the moment, and while i hate feeling that, i have to admit that it gets at me and worries me a lot. especially if we are to spend the future together. should i really be worried do you think? or maybe do i need to get a grip?

I think you need to be specific about in what ways you find yourself more mature.

I would put my boyfriend and myself on the same maturity level, and that's why I think we work. In the past when I dated people I felt were less mature than me, I felt superior, and that was a recipe for a break-up.

 

[lacedinlavender]

I think there will always be that little kid in all of us, and that doesn't necessarily equal immaturity. Esteeming yourself to be more mature than your significant other can really cause problems.

How is your boyfriend more immature than you?

Jen

 

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

The thing is this yes guys do mature but we will always be like a kid in our own way. Like me for instance I can still play my video games and watch a good cartoon. Sure it might be kiddy but that doesn't show lack of maturity. Now if he is doing bodly funcitons or showing lack of respect with bad jokes or something thats comepletly different. Heck one night my Girlfriend and I skipped around my college campus. It was childish yes but we had fun and a great time and well to be honest God wants us to enjoy life and if it means acting like a kid at times then so be it.

Yup! Most guys stay kids at heart, which is fine! us girls can be kids too...hehe...but, guys just usually are more extreme in it. You know, he may come across as childish at times but perhaps that is just his fun personality. Of course there are times when one should be a bit more serious....but fun is great!

 

[welshchick]

i totally realise that i can never expect for him to act all mature at all times - even i like to act like a kid sometimes; and also it doesn't mean that i don't like having fun, cos i love it - i love to mess around. I feel that i'm more spiritually mature than him, which i do find a little difficult at times, because i want him to lead. But i totally understand and know that it's my duty to encourage him in that area, and that everyone always has to start somewhere. It's just that sometimes i really need spiritual leadership when i'm finding things hard. What Maeyken said about life experiences actually makes sense - i hadn't thought of that before. He's only recently moved away from home for the first time (just during college time) and so i guess it makes sense that he would be more immature in that area. He's quite happy to just spend all his money which worries me sometimes - i think that's the main thing really.

 

[lozzie]

i totally realise that i can never expect for him to act all mature at all times - even i like to act like a kid sometimes; and also it doesn't mean that i don't like having fun, cos i love it - i love to mess around. I feel that i'm more spiritually mature than him, which i do find a little difficult at times, because i want him to lead. But i totally understand and know that it's my duty to encourage him in that area, and that everyone always has to start somewhere. It's just that sometimes i really need spiritual leadership when i'm finding things hard. What Maeyken said about life experiences actually makes sense - i hadn't thought of that before. He's only recently moved away from home for the first time (just during college time) and so i guess it makes sense that he would be more immature in that area. He's quite happy to just spend all his money which worries me sometimes - i think that's the main thing really.

I don't think spending money is a matter of maturity...

For eg, my sister is 22 and her fiance is 29... they are still in the process of sorting out their (His) finances... But, at the same time, he acknowledges that he is hopeless with money and is glad that he has my sister to basically control their money, because he's been able to save and buy a $3000 lounge and a holiday that he'd never have had otherwise. (FYI they aren't christians and have been living together for the past year).

I'mnot saying you shoud take over your boyfriends finances though. Just that spending is not so much a sign of immaturity, but of prorities. Maybe you need to ask him about it?

 

[Inperfected]

i totally realise that i can never expect for him to act all mature at all times - even i like to act like a kid sometimes; and also it doesn't mean that i don't like having fun, cos i love it - i love to mess around. I feel that i'm more spiritually mature than him, which i do find a little difficult at times, because i want him to lead.

When in a dating relationship, the male is not obliged, expect, or even should lead spiritually. This even doesn't "really" take place in marriages! The fact of the matter it's you and your relationship with god, and his with god. Not the relationship and how you"two" are with god. Yes it starts becoming more that way once married, as you are one so to speak, but not when you aren't in the covenant of marriage.

 

[Arclight610]

I still throw worms at my girlfriend . But on the terms of maturity I believe I am a little furthur than she is. I can handle most difficulties really well, am responsible, and am very knowledgeble. Not saying that she is irresponsible or not knowledgeble, but when it comes to being in a difficult situation she can't handle it as well.

 

[YouthPastor]

When in a dating relationship, the male is not obliged, expect, or even should lead spiritually. This even doesn't "really" take place in marriages! The fact of the matter it's you and your relationship with god, and his with god. Not the relationship and how you"two" are with god. Yes it starts becoming more that way once married, as you are one so to speak, but not when you aren't in the covenant of marriage.

What you are saying is true... However, it is a very good idea to do spiritual things together before marriage - it helps to see where each other is at on a spiritual level. If during the dating period - you discuss this but he NEVER wants to pray together, take the lead in reading something etc... then most likley it will not change after marriage.

 

[littlecoda]

Maybe when we love someone we look things over and in time that special person matures.I guess the mature party has to be the one that is going to take up the slack, My boyfriend is 32 and he is very mature of course. You made me wonder..am I mature enough for him? I doubt it! He loves me though.

 

[Inperfected]

What you are saying is true... However, it is a very good idea to do spiritual things together before marriage - it helps to see where each other is at on a spiritual level. If during the dating period - you discuss this but he NEVER wants to pray together, take the lead in reading something etc... then most likley it will not change after marriage.

I maybe didn't explain it well enough... but that is exactly what i was meanign..