Marrying a non Christian!

[posty]

What are your thoughts on marrying a non christian?

 

[secretdawn]

when you marry someone you should accept them exactly how they are...would you be able to accept them as a non-christian or try to change them? I would think you would, so I wouldn't reccomend it...but if you are dating, there is nothing wrong with that as far as i see, cause they could change you never know, and if not, then you can move on and hopefully have at least peeked their interest on the matter.

 

[retooferab]

Don't do it.

Strive to be equally yoked... And I think it needs to be made perfectly clear to potential mates (your dates) that your highest value is God and that you expect your spouse to maintain similar values. Wouldn't it be nice to have a spouse you can grow with spiritually? You can challenge each other in this regard... one-way is no good in my opinion!

Peace!

 

[ShetlandRose]

Marry a non-Christian? ABSOLUTELY NOT! The Bible tells you to not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. The reason is to prevent you from heartache of tremendous proportions. Like I said in another post, if you do not want the best God has for you, date unbelievers. If you marry one thinking you will convert them after marriage, you are taking a huge risk.

ShetlandRose

 

[thereselittleflower]

You would be asking for grief . . the bible says to not be unequally yoked, and it says this for good reason . . if you are a Christian, you are part of the Kingdom of God in His Light . . if you marry someone who is not a Christian, they are part of the kingdom of darkeness . .

What does llght have to do with darkness? How can Light be made to become one with Darkness?

It is better to not marry than to be unequally yoked . . .


Peace in Him!

 

[Salvatore Gonzales]

Wow....and people said I was too OT. Try adding Corinthians
where the unbeliever is sanctified in marriage by the Believer.

There is no promise of *salvation* for the unbeliever, but
this person could change and make a choice over time.

Do not put such a possibility past the will of God.

 

[thereselittleflower]

Wow....and people said I was too OT. Try adding Corinthians
where the unbeliever is sanctified in marriage by the Believer.

There is no promise of *salvation* for the unbeliever, but
this person could change and make a choice over time.

Do not put such a possibility past the will of God.

IF you take scripture out of context, you will enter into grave error . .

The unbeliever being sactified in marriage . . . Paul was not speaking to believers about who they should marry . . he was speaking to believers who BECAME believers WHILE ALREADY married!

He was telling these believers not to seek a divorce because NOW, while ALREADY MARRIED, they were "unequally" yoked . .

This is consistant with what he has said elsewhere about not seeking to CHHANGE one's station or position in life once one became a believer . . to REMAIN in the position one was in when they became a believer . .

This same Paul, who said that the unbeliever might be saved by the believer ALSO SAID THIS:

(2Cor 6:14)

​

​

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

​

Here is what Paul said about the believer sanctifying the unbelieving spouse:

1Co 7:12​

​

But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.

1Co 7:13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.

1Co 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

1Co 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

1Co 7:16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?

​

This has nothing to do with choosing a spouse . . this has to do with dealing with the situation of already having a spouse that does not beleive . . . a situation one finds themselves in after becoming a believer . . and it is Paul's own personal thoughts on the matter . .

But first scripture quote above is a clear command in scripture about WHO to choose, as a believer, for a spouse . . and who NOT to choose . . .



Peace in Him!

 

[Stanfi]

Don't do it. You should strive to marry a believer so that your marriage can be used to glorify God. When you become "one" you need to be able to grow together in Christ, and not be pulled apart. When we begin to grow spiritually, it becomes clear how very important that this is.

 

[ShetlandRose]

There is no promise of *salvation* for the unbeliever, but this person could change and make a choice over time. Do not put such a possibility past the will of God.

All things are possible with God. God can do anything. The Lord can twitch his little finger and make a mosquito into a giraffe if He wants to. The point is--the Scripture is clear--do not marry an unbeliever. Do you wish to put God to the test? If someone chooses to ignore the warning, they should brace themself for the potential consequences, which will last a lifetime. Obedience and wisdom is the way I advise.

ShetlandRose

 

[JVD]

Do NOT marry a non-christian.

That does not mean that just because you marry a christian, you will have a great marriiage. Hah!

But you know going in that you are either going to have problems in your marriage or your walk with God if you marry a non-christian. Likely both. So, you are making your own bed if you marry a non-christian.

It is a sentence for problems the rest of your life...or at least the rest of your marriage. If you have children in that marriage you will have an issue with it for the REST OF YOUR LIFE...unless of course God shows mercy and brings your spouse to him.

 

[Salvatore Gonzales]

I see where this could turn into chicken vs egg as far as
being married or not when a person becomes a Believer.

So, if we are going to look at relative points in time, then what
happens to us as Christians who take Jesus as our spiritual
spouse? Who was the Believer and the who was the unbeliever
at that time? When was the marriage entered into with
the Spirit? Were *you* not the "unbeliever" before your
spiritual marriage with Christ? What happens when you
fall away with sin in your later struggles because we
do not remain without error for the entire marriage?
There are many who proclaim their faith in Christ, fall
away, and return later. How is this different than one
who marries the unbeliever and then that person becomes
a Believer. All sin is equal in the eyes of God.

 

[McCravey]

I agree that being married to an unbeliever has it's problems. Those that I have known in this situation have prayed continually that God would save their husbands (usually it is wives in this situation)

The bigger problem is that one spouse has faith and the other one doesn't...hence unequally yoked.

I know in my home we go through easy times and we go through hard times. the hard times try our faith. Sometimes we doubt God's hand in our lives...sometimes we just begin to lose hope.

When those times happen one or the other of us will suddenly have a surge of faith. Maybe i will say something like "remember what God has been telling us and promising us" "His promises and plans for our lives are more powerful than the circumstances we see"

We all gain a surge of faith...and we begin to rest. We begin to trust God again and things straighten out.

The problem with an unbeliever is that they can not help in the faith building exercise. If you are the believer in the relationship you have to pull the load by yourself....your partner becomes a stubborn and obstinate partner in items of faith.

 

[McCravey]

I see where this could turn into chicken vs egg as far as
being married or not when a person becomes a Believer.

So, if we are going to look at relative points in time, then what
happens to us as Christians who take Jesus as our spiritual
spouse? Who was the Believer and the who was the unbeliever
at that time? When was the marriage entered into with
the Spirit? Were *you* not the "unbeliever" before your
spiritual marriage with Christ? What happens when you
fall away with sin in your later struggles because we
do not remain without error for the entire marriage?
There are many who proclaim their faith in Christ, fall
away, and return later. How is this different than one
who marries the unbeliever and then that person becomes
a Believer. All sin is equal in the eyes of God.

This brings up an excellent thought.

Is the church fit, as the bride of Christ, to equally carry her load in this walk of faith we have? If not--are we destined to become that fit bride?

 

[Salvatore Gonzales]

We are never a perfect (fit?) bride, yet Christ takes us anyway.

 

[Bastoune]

IF you take scripture out of context, you will enter into grave error . .

The unbeliever being sactified in marriage . . . Paul was not speaking to believers about who they should marry . . he was speaking to believers who BECAME believers WHILE ALREADY married!

He was telling these believers not to seek a divorce because NOW, while ALREADY MARRIED, they were "unequally" yoked . .

This is consistant with what he has said elsewhere about not seeking to CHHANGE one's station or position in life once one became a believer . . to REMAIN in the position one was in when they became a believer . .

This same Paul, who said that the unbeliever might be saved by the believer ALSO SAID THIS:

(2Cor 6:14)


​

​

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?


​

Here is what Paul said about the believer sanctifying the unbelieving spouse:

1Co 7:12​

​

But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.


1Co 7:13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.

1Co 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

1Co 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

1Co 7:16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?


​

This has nothing to do with choosing a spouse . . this has to do with dealing with the situation of already having a spouse that does not beleive . . . a situation one finds themselves in after becoming a believer . . and it is Paul's own personal thoughts on the matter . .

But first scripture quote above is a clear command in scripture about WHO to choose, as a believer, for a spouse . . and who NOT to choose . . .



Peace in Him!

EXCELLENT job, my sister!!!

In general, it's not a good idea... what would you have in common? Your entire views of the world are completely different!

 

[Abigail's folly]

No!

 

[Crazy Liz]

We have an interesting interpretation of "unequally yoked" in our culture, where we choose our own marriage partners. Lots of historical saints (Monica, for example) were Christians married to non-Christians. Probably, though, these marriages were arranged by their parents.