marrying a military man..

[Valpal1123]

My husband is military and when he is in a place where he doesn't like the job he is in or the course he is taking he brings home that negativity..... I pray for him but is there any other advise ???? anything else I can do for him to ease his mind???

 

[faroukfarouk]

My husband is military and when he is in a place where he doesn't like the job he is in or the course he is taking he brings home that negativity..... I pray for him but is there any other advise ???? anything else I can do for him to ease his mind???

Hi there; God bless you guys.

There are sometimes many, many stresses in connection with the military, but often in military families there is also a lot of solidarity.

Prayer and Scripture reading together can be a great blessing for military couples and families. Psalm 46; John 14; Ephesians 6 (about the whole armour of God), etc. can be great, strengthening passages.

Remember also that some military wives identify very strongly with the military, to the extent even of getting patriotic, family and faith tattoos; a military guy was on another thread her a while ago saying that other military wives have urged his wife to do it. (I would not myself urge anyone to do it; it's ultimately an individual responsibility.)

 

[Valpal1123]

Hi there; God bless you guys.

There are sometimes many, many stresses in connection with the military, but often in military families there is also a lot of solidarity.

Prayer and Scripture reading together can be a great blessing for military couples and families. Psalm 46; John 14; Ephesians 6 (about the whole armour of God), etc. can be great, strengthening passages.

Remember also that some military wives identify very strongly with the military, to the extent even of getting patriotic, family and faith tattoos; a military guy was on another thread her a while ago saying that other military wives have urged his wife to do it. (I would not myself urge anyone to do it; it's ultimately an individual responsibility.)

Thank you for this!

 

[faroukfarouk]

Thank you for this!

YW In the end the strength resources are inward and spiritual; Paul talks in Ephesians 3 about being 'strengthened in the inner person'.
(It's true also that so many military spouses also opt for an outward step of ink commitment, but it's optional of course.)

 

[A3M0N]

I don't that I can offer you any advice really, but I was active duty for 8 years (Reservist now) and truly hated my career field. It was a dark time for me, spiritually. We were stationed overseas and the church was very small there, we didn't get to meet outside of worship very much at all so we didn't have that face to face/heart to heart kind of relationships we needed. Not blaming anyone of course, except maybe myself for not making a stronger effort to make those get togethers happen more often.

Anyway, I do understand the stress of military life and work. It can be really hard to keep your mind out of the negativity and general immorality that sadly is part of the military. But I think @faroukfarouk's advise is wise. Stay prayed up! Have you shared your concern with your husband? Is he also a spiritual person?

 

[faroukfarouk]

I don't that I can offer you any advice really, but I was active duty for 8 years (Reservist now) and truly hated my career field. It was a dark time for me, spiritually. We were stationed overseas and the church was very small there, we didn't get to meet outside of worship very much at all so we didn't have that face to face/heart to heart kind of relationships we needed. Not blaming anyone of course, except maybe myself for not making a stronger effort to make those get togethers happen more often.

Anyway, I do understand the stress of military life and work. It can be really hard to keep your mind out of the negativity and general immorality that sadly is part of the military. But I think @faroukfarouk's advise is wise. Stay prayed up! Have you shared your concern with your husband? Is he also a spiritual person?

Hi, Sir; I know that sometimes there is a conflict or at least a creative tension from some satisfying aspects that there may be in a professional role with a public service aspect, and on the other hand the relative isolation that one may go through also because of a lack of close Christian fellowship. I'm Canadian and among members of the Canadian military (unified Canadian Forces, organized differently and much, much smaller than the US military) there can be all sorts of hidden stresses, some of them on the surface nothing to do with the active military environment; but, even excluding those who are serving overseas, for military personnel Canada as a vast country with a relatively small population does indeed sometimes mean a lot of isolation from family and friends and - for Christians - fellowship. I do love John's First Epistle, which has fellowship as a major theme, linked in the Epistle with walking in the light and with the Father and His Son Jesus Christ.

I do think there is also often a strong element of solidarity among military wives evidenced not least by the prevalence of receiving tattoos that are patriotic-, family- and/or faith-themed, if this makes sense.

 

[A3M0N]

I wouldn't mistake similar tattoos for solidarity. There is a lot of gossip, backbiting, one-uping, etc. in the military spouse world. That's not to say there are no good aspects of the military spouse life, but my wife avoided working with other spouses in the various units I served in for these reasons.

@Valpal1123, where are y'all stationed right now? I would expand on the prayer advise, and find a good church to attend. A lot of churches around military bases have a military ministry/outreach that understand the issues y'all are going through. I'd get involved with a local church rather than in the military spouses groups, same for your husband. There are usually many military members who attend churches around bases.

 

[Armoured]

My husband is military and when he is in a place where he doesn't like the job he is in or the course he is taking he brings home that negativity..... I pray for him but is there any other advise ???? anything else I can do for him to ease his mind???

Tell him to get out of the infantry and transfer to cavalry

 

[Valpal1123]

Tell him to get out of the infantry and transfer to cavalry

he's not in infantry.....

 

[Valpal1123]

I wouldn't mistake similar tattoos for solidarity. There is a lot of gossip, backbiting, one-uping, etc. in the military spouse world. That's not to say there are no good aspects of the military spouse life, but my wife avoided working with other spouses in the various units I served in for these reasons.

@Valpal1123, where are y'all stationed right now? I would expand on the prayer advise, and find a good church to attend. A lot of churches around military bases have a military ministry/outreach that understand the issues y'all are going through. I'd get involved with a local church rather than in the military spouses groups, same for your husband. There are usually many military members who attend churches around bases.

Yeah we are starting that now. Thank you very much for your words!

 

[Armoured]

he's not in infantry.....

From your description, I just assumed...

 

[A3M0N]

Yeah we are starting that now. Thank you very much for your words!

You're very welcome!

From your description, I just assumed...

Ha, I was (an am again in the Reserve) an aircraft mechanic in the Air Force. We worked 12s almost nightly for the 3 years I was at Lakenheath, and hated nearly every minute of it. If we got out before 12, we called it a cutback. I retrained to intelligence and enjoyed that more, but ultimately got out and joined the Reserve and went back to being a mechanic. It was the only job I could do that was remotely close to my home. I'm on F-16s now, so far I like working on them more than F-15Es.

@Valpal1123, just curious. What job does your husband do?

 

[bill5]

My husband is military and when he is in a place where he doesn't like the job he is in or the course he is taking he brings home that negativity..... I pray for him but is there any other advise ???? anything else I can do for him to ease his mind???

What about YOUR mind's ease? Frankly IMO it's selfish if not whiny of him to come home and dump it all on you. It's one thing to be understanding and supportive in tough situations, but if he's doing it all the time, he should suck it up and realize life can suck sometimes and get over it. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but sometimes pampering people isn't the answer. Plenty of people not in the military have to be in places or jobs etc they don't like too.

PS: military retiree here.