Married to a PK

[divineelements]

Good morning everyone:

I am new to the forum, but I am sure glad that I found it!

I am a newly married woman married to the son of a Pastor. We both are active in the ministry, which can be a little difficult for me trying to balance a full time job, maintain the home and church activities.

I was hoping that I would receive some advice from those who are married to a PK on how you are able to find a stable balance to it all.

Thanks!

 

[ghs1994]

i am currently looking into a church to pastor youth for the first time and one of the questions i have asked the sr. pastor there is what is expected of my wife.

it seems that many churches don't realize that just because they hire the pastor doesn't mean they hire the wife for no pay also.

imho - the wife should compliment her husband and help in the role God gave her. i think the wife should use the gifts she has been given with the time allotted to her. i think your family should be the first priority to give evidence that you are a good godly wife.

my wife also works full time, but i am not a pastor yet. she will probably have to work at least part time if the position i'm looking at opens up.

churches should realize - if you hire a pastor for pay, the pastor is the one who is employed by the church, not the wife. i don't like saying "employed", but i don't know of a better term because that is how many churches view the pastor and his family. if the church expects a lot from the pastor's wife, the church should pay him accordingly so that his wife will not have to work to help support the family. basically, the church would need to pay the equivelant of two incomes for their particular area imho.

my advice to you would be to find out from the church your husband is looking at and what they are expecting of you before accepting any church offer to pastor. if it lines up with your view - then the "fit" will be good. but if it doesn't, then you may want to keep looking because you will struggle to change a church's thinking.

church members can be very cruel and brutal, especially to a pastor's wife if she is not meeting their expectations.

if you are already in a church now, somehow you will have to not take on more ministry responsibility than your secular job will allow. the church hired your husband and not you. do what you can and you will probably find out you will have to make very wise and disciplined use of your time.

keep on praying about it and don't lose heart.

 

[Bellla]

I will be marrying a PK in December.

 

[kateluvscoffee]

i am married to a PK as well. His father is the pastor of our home church in Lakeland, Florida, and while we were there, he helped out with the youth group, and often disappeared multiple times during the sermon, having to attend to sound room, head count, or some other thing his father had asked him in specific to do, so his mother and I became the "church pew widows" because her hubby was up preaching and mine was off, doing dad's bidding...

we were both in religious liberties, and active in events. (as well as we could be anyway) You just have to find a balance. I personally always made sure at Potluck, that he sat with me, or at least told me before he flitted off to go sit with his church friends. My poor mother-in-law rarely gets to see my father-in-law during church, we jokingly say he has part hummingbird DNA. I have been married to my sweety since December 2010..and I wouldn't change a MINUTE!

 

[jonmolby]

Good morning everyone:

I am new to the forum, but I am sure glad that I found it!

I am a newly married woman married to the son of a Pastor. We both are active in the ministry, which can be a little difficult for me trying to balance a full time job, maintain the home and church activities.

I was hoping that I would receive some advice from those who are married to a PK on how you are able to find a stable balance to it all.

Thanks!

My wife is a PK. I have found that she needs lots of love and affirmation. It seems that PKs are usually held to a higher standard than others in the church. Sometimes by their parents because they want their kids to be a good example, and sometimes by the congregation because, "well they are the pastor's kids after all".

Be sure your husband feels encouraged, supported, and loved by you. Find out if where he serves in the church is where he really desires to serve or if he feels obligated to it. If he would rather serve in a different area encourage him in that. My wife was serving in an area of the church that she absolutely was not passionate about because she felt obligated to do it.

I am not sure what you believe about ministry but I would encourage you that you being a good wife is as valid of ministry as serving in the church. If you ever feel that serving in the church is putting a strain on your relationship with your husband then you might need to step back a bit. Your ministry in the church thrives when you and your husband's relationship thrives, likewise if your marriage is a struggle your ministry in the church will often struggle.

I hope that some of this was helpful.

 

[freebiblelessons]

Well I am a PK and I have a wife, so i guess I am coming at it from a different perspective.

My wife worked full-time at the church with me for years, but then I eventually needed her to stop working there. It was causing too much family stress.

Personally I needed to come home and NOT have to talk about church or my parent's or anything like that. It is certainly still difficult at times, but it is much better now that she doesn't work there anymore.