Marriage

[Mariangelica Valdes]

Does premarital intercourse make a marriage or does an agreement between the two people to become husband and wife in today's time make a marriage? So if for example, if someone had premarital sex but never signed documents or did a ceremony to be married but were boyfriend and girlfriend the whole time, let's say they maybe could have even been engaged but not officially married by law or by ceremony, and break up then they go off and marry by law and everything official different people is that their first marriage or their second marriage?

 

[Unofficial Reverand Alex]

It's a messy situation, that's all.

Not sure how other denominations do it, but for the Catholic church to recognize a marriage, it must occur within a Catholic church. Even marriage by paperwork in the courthouse (can't remember the term) isn't official in the eyes of the Church.

However, I don't know of any religion that uses sex as the sign of marriage, so it would be the first marriage, just with some sin & disloyalty to lead into it--or, a truly repentant person who goes extra steps to be loyal as a sort of self-penance. As I said--it's a messy situation.

God be with you.

 

[Greg J.]

As @Unofficial Reverand Alex says, it is a "messy" situation—because God has not made it crystal clear how we are to handle a blend of what is righteous and what is sinful in much detail (on any issue). What people are "supposed to do" in their (always unique) circumstances is to be guided by the Holy Spirit. I suggest you talk to a pastor about it as well as pray to God for wisdom, which He gives generously.

Repenting of the sin—confessing it to God and asking his forgiveness, with the genuine intention to never do it again is important. Regarding judgment, God will forget about the sin and never hold it against you. Continuing as if it is OK to have premarital sex will eventually prove to have very bad consequences.

I can't say anything regarding the ethics of the situation, because I'd need a lot more detail about it all.

 

[paul1149]

Does premarital intercourse make a marriage or does an agreement between the two people to become husband and wife in today's time make a marriage? S

Taking the vows makes a marriage. Having sex does not. That's why it's adultery.

Or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a prostitute is one body with her? For He says, "THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH." - 1Co 6:16 NASB​

Having sex, whether in marriage or out of marriage, sets up a spiritual bond, a soul tie. This is extremely problematic - as in, very bad. The Lord wants us pure and innocent, with single-hearted devotion, so adultery is a no-no, a grave moral disorder. Marital purity is also analogous to pure and undivided devotion to the Lord. Sexual purity is the best way to honor marriage.

So if you've had sex outside of marriage, it doesn't mean you have to get married. It means you have to stop having sex, and you need to break that soul tie by renouncing the sin and committing to living a clean life. Or, if the two of you are willing, then you should get married to make it right.

 

[SPF]

Does premarital intercourse make a marriage or does an agreement between the two people to become husband and wife in today's time make a marriage? So if for example, if someone had premarital sex but never signed documents or did a ceremony to be married but were boyfriend and girlfriend the whole time, let's say they maybe could have even been engaged but not officially married by law or by ceremony, and break up then they go off and marry by law and everything official different people is that their first marriage or their second marriage?

The biggest problem in understanding marriage is that while it is the first institute put in place by God (it even preceded the law), it is something that all cultures practice, secular and religious. Personally, I think government should stay out of marriage altogether, as there is a difference between what God considers a covenantal relationship and what culture deems as "marriage".

Scripture is clear that there is something unique about a marriage between two Believers. It is more than a social contract, it is a covenant that is sealed by God.

Simply having premarital sex does not result in a marriage covenant sealed by God.

 

[Kit Sigmon]

Does premarital intercourse make a marriage or does an agreement between the two people to become husband and wife in today's time make a marriage? So if for example, if someone had premarital sex but never signed documents or did a ceremony to be married but were boyfriend and girlfriend the whole time, let's say they maybe could have even been engaged but not officially married by law or by ceremony, and break up then they go off and marry by law and everything official different people is that their first marriage or their second marriage?

Two unmarried people having sex is fornication.
The marriage... the pledge/engagement followed by marriage ceremony with witnesses.
I know several people who got engaged and had sex...but they didn't get married.

My brother was a player and he use to get engaged with his girlfriend(s) and have
sex with them and sometime later call it off.
At one time, he be engaged to four girls...I asked him, which one do you love?
He said whichever one I'm with.... the ol' player was finally caught and got his
face rearranged... the end of his player days!

In biblical times... a couple engaged be like they are married but they not living together and having sex...you know the story of Joseph and Mary... they engaged but they not living together or having sex, and when Joseph found out Mary was with child, he sought to put her away privately...'cause Joseph knew
he hadn't had sex with Mary.

In times past...Bargaining was done by the parents for the chosen lady, a bride
price would be agreed upon and paid, gifts would be given to the "bride", her
parents and even others in the family...you probably read this in the Bible when
Abraham sent his servant to get a bride for Isaac.
During the engagement period, the woman was "married" but she
could remained in her parents home for up to a year or longer.

After the two are joined in marriage in front of witnesses they enjoy a party
with their guests... also this:
Deuteronomy 24:5
"If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other
duty laid on him.
For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married."