Marriage

[iloveringyou]

Me and my boyfriend are considering getting married ASAP. (ASAP meaning once he gets a good job and I get a car and we feel like we can take care of ourselves.)

Yes we love each other. Yes we both are definitely Christians. Yes we have thoroughly thought about how we do want to marry each other. We have gone over what marriage entitles. Blh blahhh

But the reason I think we are taking this direction is because of our intense passion for each other. I mean we have not done anything extreme with each other. We vowed not to kiss till we get married, its been 3 months since we have kissed now. But I long for him and his hormones make his lust go wacko. And we really loath masturbating(failing as we call it) or having lustful thoughts. Not that it will all stop once we are married but, then we will have the right to lust after each other, and to not deny each other.

And I am not here to discuss whether we were meant to be together. Because I believe we are and through prayer and time it has been fairly confirmed.

I am not posting this to get the a-ok to touch myself.

I am just hoping that I am not endorsing this possible direction because I just can not wait to marry him...or because I am having serious problem controlling myself. I mean controlling myself is most definitely hard, dont get me wrong. But I think I just really want to marry him and thats why I support most decisions that seem like it will make get married sooner.

...It will be a whole new thing. I mean not just the marriage part but the whole like, on my own. On my own meaning without parents not without Aaron. I have a job, im working on a home business, my permit...Aaron has a lot of little jobs that are developing, his license, a car...I just need my license and a car...he just needs a secure job...and then once we feel like we can actually make it on our own...well?

I want it to happen. I want him to not regret anything. I know I will not regret anything....I dont know what I am asking....I would say post a verse about marriage for me...but i just like finished reading What the Bible Says About Marriage...which pretty much has every verse about marriage in it...But i guess I could use reading them again. Post verses you feel are applicable to this im talking about.

 

[wayfaring man]

1st Corinthians Chapter 7

Hope and pray The Lord blesses and enables good things to open up unto you .

Being able to provide for one's own is an important aspect of being an adult , glad to see you've given that some good consideration .

wm

 

[Aibrean]

Just an FYI: When you are married, it's not lust. Lust is a sinful longing and in the context of marriage it's not sinful.

When you are settled I think it's a great idea.

We got married as soon as we both had solid jobs and a house (literally, I planned the wedding for 2 months after we closed). However, it took a long time to save up for the house. We were able (because of savings) to put more than 20% down and have a low mortgage (and just re-fied and took off 8 years). Not having economical stress on the marriage is a HUGE benefit.

 

[FallenPaladin]

If you get married now God will be there to help with the rest of it.

 

[Life2Christ]

My marriage advice:
I'm a marriage failure but one thing I learned is: keep God at the center of your marriage. I lived in a Godless marriage and it was the pits. I remember reading in a celebrity magazine that Angela Bassett (the actress) and her husband engraved "God"in the inside of their wedding rings.

 

[Quasicentennial]

2 Peter 3:9 (New International Version)

9The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
Being patient is one of the most important fruits of Jesus .:*:. Accepting Jesus wholeheartedly means your life is invincible as Jesus is our protector and healer against disease and sudden death from accidents and natural disasters .:*:. Jesus knows our future and his harvest such as financial success is already planned for you - if you remain patient as time can feel long and slow .:*:. I go to church each week to receive prayer from the prayer ministry team as church members line up and are prayed with the team's hands on our heads or shoulders .:*:. I can feel the river of the holy spirit flow through me, flushing out the fruits of Satan and replacing them with the fruits of Jesus - so instead of impatience and anger, it is patience, peace, joy and love .:*:.

 

[Aibrean]

^ Just ignore him...he's always off-topic.

 

[EnVida Isaac]

<snip>

I am just hoping that I am not endorsing this possible direction because I just can not wait to marry him...or because I am having serious problem controlling myself. I mean controlling myself is most definitely hard, dont get me wrong. But I think I just really want to marry him and thats why I support most decisions that seem like it will make get married sooner.

<snip>

I want it to happen. I want him to not regret anything. I know I will not regret anything....I dont know what I am asking....I would say post a verse about marriage for me...but i just like finished reading What the Bible Says About Marriage...which pretty much has every verse about marriage in it...But i guess I could use reading them again. Post verses you feel are applicable to this im talking about.

No small bunch of sayings would have "What the Bible Says About Marriage"... because the entire Bible in a sense, talks about marriage. Through God's relationship with Israel, for instance.

It starts with Adam and Eve, saying "it is not good for man to be alone" and it ends perhaps in Revelation with the pivotal event of the "marriage supper of the Lamb".


Romantic love and marriage figured heavily in most of the lives of the patriarchs, and even when it did not directly as with Sarah and Rachel and others... it did always indirectly.


It is surely no unplanned nor minor thing Jesus had very strong words about marriage, started his ministry at a wedding, and several of the most pivotal parables revolve around marriage: the ten virgins, the king's wedding ceremony for his son where those who are called did not come so they were later executed and the poor chosen to take their place, and so on.


Ultimately, a marriage is a ceremony. True marriage is through the romantic ideals of pure love, love which binds a man and a woman. As it says in Malachi, "Did I not join you body and spirit to your wife?"


Passion is just that. This is not to say love is easy to understand, especially when one is caught in the throes of it. In fact, Solomon, the prince of wisdom declares,

"There are three things that are too amazing for me,
four that I do not understand: 19 the way of an eagle in the sky,
the way of a snake on a rock,
the way of a ship on the high seas,
and the way of a man with a maiden."




Passion shows that two people are connected already. The mystery is that they are divided at all, or how this can be considered not self love.


Jesus said strongly, "man should not divide what God united", even condemning Moses allowance to send a woman away saying, "he allowed you this because your hearts were hard".



So, do not fret, thinking, "We have joined ourselves or wish to", in fact, God has already joined you.

Waiting and being apart is good, if you are strong enough to handle it, as it can actually increase the bond. When you are married, you will absolutely not always be around your husband unless you both work at the same place.


If marriages fail, it is so often because people start to take each other for granted, something you two are definitely not doing at this time.


Don't let arguments fret you, either, for these signs of intense emotion themselves show that the passion is there.


It is normal for couples to disagree or fight. That, like everything, is nature and is meant to be a part of the bond, not as the world sees it... which wishes to always promote divorce so as to justify the sinful and appeal to sinful doctrines.


Finally, believe in it and give your whole heart into it. That is true risk. There is none greater. But, strong beliefs are by nature persuasive, and it is those who believe taking great risk that find reward, not those who take no risk and believe in nothing. They deserve no reward.

They move no mountains.

 

[tturt]

All the keys to a successful marriage are in the Bible &#8211; here's just a few:

-putting Yahweh first

Eph 5:33 But every husband must love his wife as he loves himself, and wives should respect their husbands Suggest reading Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs
Ephesians 4:26 &#8220;Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:&#8221; (know one couple that agreed that BOTH have to apologize before going to sleep)

-don&#8217;t let unforgiveness have a place in your heart,

-Pro 22:7 says the borrower is a slave to the lender &#8211; kidding, it says servant.

Rom 13:8 Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled

Also, discuss everything before marriage such as who is going to do all the dirty dishes, nasty toilets, smelly laundry; which one is better at handling the finances; what&#8217;s your approach to money &#8211; saver or spender; what are your goals &#8211; a year from now, 5 years from now, etc.; if you want children; what are the ideas on child rearing including discipline; hobbies; in-laws; how to resolve conflicts; lifestyle after marriage; addictions; etc.

 

[EnVida Isaac]

Hrrm, that reminds me that a wife is subjected to the will of her husband, and a husband is subjected to the will of the wife.

So...

There can be discussion, compromise, and when two people are very strong willed...

Probably sometimes earthquakes and tornadoes.


(I hate to say, but such is life.)

(Or the price of having strong wills.)

 

[iloveringyou]

thanks everyone for the advice, I have been reading these replies to Aaron as they came in...just more the think about and consider in making a good decision.

 

[Aibrean]

To me, age doesn't matter if you guys were wondering about that too. It's your stability.

 

[ayearhasgone]

I got married ASAP, when I was 19. It was one of the best decisions of my life.

All that's left for you to do, I think, it ensure that your relationship involves more than passion. Passion is an important part of the beginning stage of a relationship, but the roaring fires die down after time, turning into glowing embers than burn forever.

My marriage worked first and foremost because it had God's blessing. But also, I knew that my wife was my best friend, not just the object of passion.

Pray about this always, until the day you are married. And then pray some more. God knows best.

 

[EnVida Isaac]

thanks everyone for the advice, I have been reading these replies to Aaron as they came in...just more the think about and consider in making a good decision.

Personally, I have always seen marriage as "just a ceremony". A big thing I struggled with was Jesus' response to the Pharisees about the "Age to Come". IMO, this is solved by the recently found Gospel of Phillip which I have to come to the conclusion is genuine material as no one else talks that way. This means that what people are blind to is what we also hear so often from the "naive" and "young" in the world. There is true love. God does this, not man.

So, listen to that.

Though this also has to be tempered with the stories of the Patriarchs.

 

[Nienna_Lady_of_Tears]

If you get married now God will be there to help with the rest of it.

Probably the first thing I agree with this particular poster on.

My husband and I started our marriage homeless because we had the lust issue and knew it would be better to get married. Well, we were only homeless for three and a half months after our marriage, and it was God who provided all we have have.

Honestly, the world tells you to wait, while it's God's ideal that people should marry.

However, the one thing that worries me is your age. When I was your age there was a man I thought I wanted to marry. But he changed his mind. And now, I've changed so much that I don't even know if a marriage to him would have worked.


But then again, age isn't everything. If you have God's blessing in your life, He will see to the details.

 

[Johnnz]

I would be more worried by a couple thinking seriously about marriage who were not well ware of their increasing desire for sexual expression. You are both doing well to be struggling with remaining celibate until marriage. You are not sinful, just two people who will need determination to hold onto their values and commitments. Once married you can give full expression to that area of your lives with great enthusiasm and shared love.

John
NZ