Marriage

[kimber1]

I have a question that I probably already know the answer to but I could use some input. My hubby is not as far along in his walk with God as I am. I cannot seem to get him interested in going to church with me and the kids. I really want for us to be doing this as a family but I don't want to push too hard. I know it says that a Christian wife should show her husband through her actions and how she lives her life that she is and wants to be a spiritual woman but how do you get through all the frustration of feeling like your hands are tied in not being able to get him to go? Anybody got any help?

 

[IslandBreeze]

Maybe bring church to him. You could invite couples (your pastor and his wife, elders and their wives) over for dinner or cards or something and have him get to know them.

 

[kimber1]

I have in the past had pastors come to the house for a visit and u could see the convivtion in my hubby but he got burned form the last church I attended and I am shopping around now to find "just the right one". I've gone to my current one for about a month but not everything fits know what I mean?

 

[layne]

Have you had any indepth conversations about his needs/preferances? Does he like a more charismatic church, or a more conservative one? What is it that drives him away or scares him from going? The people? The practises?

 

[kimber1]

this is my 2nd marriage, his 1st. The last church I went to the pastor was so very nice adn hubby actually went a couple times and when we asked him to marry us he said no but the whole time he knew we were planning on getting married he never let on that he wouldn't. Hubby got very upset and felt there was a lot of hypocrisy going on there. We both have Baptist beliefs and pretty much same beliefs in general. He's 29 and shy and says he has "things to work out for himself before he commits to going on a regular basis" What does that mean?

 

[kat37]

your situation kinda sounds like mine. in my case, i let him know very clearly that it was VERY important for him to go w/ me.

maybe he has spiritual things to work out?? maybe b/c you have a closer relationship w/ god that he's uncomfortable w/ where he is in comparison?

maybe you guys should try to visit different churches together and pick one
out together. why on earth would a pastor say no to marrying you??? that seems very strange, so i can understand your hubby's hesitation after something like that

 

[kimber1]

the pastor said it was his own personal conviction and marriage is supposed to be forever. He gave me the song and dnace when I 1st started attending about how divorced people shouldn't be treated as 2nd class citizens and then turns around and refuses to marry us. I would love to get him to visit diff. churches with me but he's not comfortable yet. I don't know if he's waiting for me to find the right one or what but as a man he is supposed to be the spiritual leader of the fmaily and since he's not "there" yet I feel like that's been left up to me adn the burden is getting heavy at times.

 

[fieldmouse3]

Hmmmm....not sure what to tell you here. Maybe ask him to choose a church for you two to try? Also, keep on praying for him! That always helps.

 

[booger]

Only advice I can give is to just pray for him.  I will do the same.

 

GOD BLESS!!

 

[GREG]

hey that is how i was....... i never would go and my wife would go without me. now she wants seperation. not because i didnt go to church. i didnt understand how to communicate or listen very well. she did pray for me and now i dont miss a beat. im at Church no matter the situation. Pray for him and God will lead his heart. God took me to the wood shed so that I could see what I could be missing in life. Now I pray for her and our Marriage hoping that God will answer my Prayers now. i will pray for YOU... cause it means so much when the prayers come from all over

 

[Evee]

I believe prayer will work better than anything.
I personally think if you push too hard it could have an opposite effect. Most people can not handle pressure, not saying you are but I really think if you pray there is where the change will come.

 

[Brain Damage]

Someone suggested bringing the church to the house , my sister did this and it made the situation worse , he felt he was being invaded and would go off to the pub and get drunk . "NOT A GOOD MOVE"

 

[GREG]

i agree with Brain

 

[kimber1]

thanks everbody for your input and prayers adn special thanks to Greg for showing me the man's view and good luck in your situation adn glad to see you did start going to church yourself. Actually my pastor where I've been going lately called today and said they are having a"invite a friend" sunday this sunday and is trying to get a couple that has things in common with my hubby and I to call and invite us. Of course I'll go regardless but he said it may encourage my hubby to go! Keep praying!!! Prayer does seem to be the best advice I'm getting all around!!

 

[GREG]

GOOD LUCK, MY SISTER