Marriage under God and not by Law/State, possible or impossible?

[Hospes]

Yes, the scripture does put limitations on who you should marry. If you are an Israelite, you should not marry a foreigner.

Here's a New Testament one for you:

"Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? What agreement has the temple of God with idols?"​

 

[AgileFeet]

Level with us. Who's the one (you or the fiancee) that's convinced the other that living together can be passed off as a de facto marriage?

No one said that living together was going to pass off as being a marriage. It was about marriage under God in God's eyes.

 

[AgileFeet]

You have asked a theoretical question and you have gotten theoretical answers, some say 'yes' and back it up with scripture, some say 'no' and back it up with scripture, and we are all brothers and sisters in Christ. Maybe I'm wrong (and a far-out hippy!), and I'll have to learn better. But my hope is in Christ, not in my own rightness.

But here's the problem: You are not in a theoretical situation, you are in a real life situation. And real life situations have real life people who react in real life ways.

You say that your fiance doesn't think that the two of you should get married until you have 'enough' (whatever that means to her). Well guess what, until the two of you have 'enough' she is not going to consider herself married to you.

She might, with enough coercion, decide to go ahead and get married 'in God's eyes' before getting married 'for real', but that won't change the fact that until that wedding happens, she won't feel married 'for real'.

Right now, your love for her is all sunshine and bunnies, and she, no doubt, thinks that you are the bee's knees. You guys are invincible, absolutely immune to whatever it is that causes all these other poor souls to split up. It's a wonderful feeling and you should savor your crazy love for each other.

But it gets crazier. At some point, the real world starts moving in on you, and you are gonna have to start truly sacrificing one for another. It's hard. This is when the sunshine and bunnies hit the fan. And it ain't pretty.

This is why half of the people you know decide to 'shack up' instead of getting married, and this is why some of your peers are already divorced. Do you think they didn't really mean that thing about 'till death do us part'? They did mean it. They just couldn't back it up with the soul-stretching work that love requires.

So what happens when the bee's knees start getting creaky, and your fiance tells you, "this was a mistake, we shouldn't have done this", and she packs her bags and she leaves? You will have suddenly gone from a 'husband' to an 'ex-boyfriend' in the course of one conversation.

You may know that God takes your vows seriously even without the white dress and the paperwork, but she does not, no matter how cute she thinks you are right now.

Be careful that you don't find yourself in a marriage of one.

Amen to the entirety of your reply. I just got off the phone with my Pastor and he said the same things about "it being a mistake." And I told him that I'm fully aware of that. Also this will be a well talked about thing. My fiance will understand it to it's fullness that this is a serious thing, and once you're in, there is no backing out no matter what.

 

[Albion]

Amen to the entirety of your reply. I just got off the phone with my Pastor and he said the same things about "it being a mistake." And I told him that I'm fully aware of that. Also this will be a well talked about thing. My fiance will understand it to it's fullness that this is a serious thing, and once you're in, there is no backing out no matter what.

 

[IisJustMe]

Ditto

 

[aggelonftera]

U.S. law doesn't forbid anyone from saying that they are 'married in God's eyes' or even from just 'shacking up'. So it's not, in fact, ignoring the law to do either one. However, if you want to reap the state-offered benefits of marriage, you have to sow the paperwork.

True we have to be recognized to be married by law as well, however the US law has torn families apart with the financial status of couples. Children being taken away from the wrong party and other things I read on a long long time ago. Things that made my hair stand up and I prefer to ask a priest if I can marry only by church and maybe the laws of another country. Although USA may recognize my marriage due to the paper work will they be able to tear us apart if we had a divorce? I wish I can find that article I read so everyone can understand what terrified me of what i read. These prenups too destroy people. I was to get married and I stopped it because he would not sign the prenup. I felt he was after that and not me so much. I and my family were told that the individual was seen checking out my home. The house in Europe and knew I had money. The house in America in my name, but its my parents. They worked a whole life for that house. If I had married without him signing that, the law would help him get half the house. Is that fair? I m sorry but my family who was there for me comes first. I loved this man and I pray for him, but I can't trust anyone and especially the govt where as our status is at stake. As far as I'm concerned, I don't think its a good idea to get married anymore. Only with the holy mystirio the essensce of the religious ceremony so God knows we two want to be blessed and stay blessed together for ever I want to love him and him to love me till death do we part and then be rejoined in heaven . The thing that troubles me is the law its become evil here!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[aggelonftera]

Amen to the entirety of your reply. I just got off the phone with my Pastor and he said the same things about "it being a mistake." And I told him that I'm fully aware of that. Also this will be a well talked about thing. My fiance will understand it to it's fullness that this is a serious thing, and once you're in, there is no backing out no matter what.

We cannot be stuck with a person who abuses us or degrades us, how much can you take. if one shows no love, than that love cannot stay together and love should not be forced. Even in the old days when others set up couples, that was wrong. If the man and a woman do not agree in their hearts to be together they should not be forced. If she sais its a mistake, she is risking it, Either way, a couple should be responsible to say I love you and mean it not say I'm sorry this was a mistake. Not to have sex and think your in love. Gee I m Sorry to say for those poor souls who had to live with life with the wrong person instead of joy with the right person , As far as I am concerned I believe the ones who set them up are responsible for that sin. I hope I'm not wrong because that would hurt to know that God would allow them to get away with ruining their children's lives by forcing them to someone they are not in love with. I don't believe God would allow that anyway.

 

[trackstacks]

Dating a widow, would swallow 100 slugs for her but if we wed, we lose several thousand dollars a month in income, so marriage without the license would work for us. We would also remain in a high tax bracket so uncle spam gets more $$$

 

[Ethan Redmace]

Deleted.

 

[rebornfree]

As an elderly lady reading these posts a few things come to mind: firstly don't confuse feelings with commitment; feelings can change. I've made the mistake of feeling I was 'married' to a boyfriend only to find that he didn't feel the same and I'd been sexually sinful and abandoned. Thankfully the Lord has forgiven me.

When I got married it was different. There was commitment to each other before God and as a legal entity too. Being a wife was different to being a girlfriend; something about that marriage service changed my status from single independence to married commitment. It's subtle but tangible and I can't quite explain it. As a Christian it was about being my husband's helpmeet - the reason why Eve was created. I found it a very fulfilling and joyful experience.(I know I'm divorced but that is due to my husband leaving me; not my choice.)

Another thought - if it is 'marriage under God', but not the State, who would perform the ceremony? I can't imagine any Christian pastor performing one which was not legal. Also if it is the Lord's will that you marry He will provide the finance at the right time, as He has promised to provide what we need if we seek His kingdom as our number one priority (Matthew 6 v 25-34). However please don't think that the wedding has to be flashy and expensive. It can be a simple, quiet ceremony but one which brings your marriage under God and also the law, which we are meant to obey unless it conflicts with God.

I know this might be difficult for you but please prayerfully consider what your Pastor has said.