Marriage sex?

[Melbelle]

I'm just curious, what is your thought on sinful sex in the marriage? Would willful bondage be sinful? Would watching porn with your spouse to spice it up be a sin? What are things you think would be crossing that line? Is there a line of sinful sex in the marriage between 1 man and 1 woman?

 

[katautumn]

I draw the line at porn, because that is essentially paying to watch two people you aren't married to (and who are oftentimes married to people other than their on-screen partners) have sex. I think it not only sets up unrealistic expectations about sex, but objectifies the actors, especially women. I don't consider most sex acts sinful, though. What two consenting married adults enjoy doing behind closed doors is their business. The Bible says don't have sex with animals, don't have sex with people of the same gender, don't commit adultery, and don't commit incest.

 

[Avniel]

Sinful sex is when you do something that the bible views as sinful as well as when you do something your spouse views as sinful. Sinful sex can also be using a spouse simple for sex and not appreciating them as a whole person.

 

[~Anastasia~]

My answer is not going to be in any way complete, but just to add ...

Sin can enter sex between a married couple because of what happens in the mind. If either partner is fantasizing about someone else, then essentially they are committing adultery even though with their spouse.

If either partner inflicts their desires on their spouse in a way that causes distress to their spouse, I think that can be sin. It's hard to say what this is, but if one partner requested something from the other that made them feel degraded, or if they have to be pressured into it not really willing, then that can be sinful, I think. I'm not talking about one spouse requesting something the other spouse may be unfamiliar with and need to "get used to" it but isn't really opposed, but more like almost forcing.

I do think porn is a sin, for the reasons mentioned in the above post.

As far as various physical acts, explorations, play-acting, cameras, costumes, toys, etc. ... I don't see anything inherently sinful in this, as long as both consent willingly and no one is hurt. (although doing anything mentally that would be a sin - deliberately fantasizing about adultery for example - would probably cross the line into sin)

It should go without saying that sex should be between the couple, and no other person should be involved of course.

 

[WolfGate]

My answer is not going to be in any way complete, but just to add ...

Sin can enter sex between a married couple because of what happens in the mind. If either partner is fantasizing about someone else, then essentially they are committing adultery even though with their spouse.

If either partner inflicts their desires on their spouse in a way that causes distress to their spouse, I think that can be sin. It's hard to say what this is, but if one partner requested something from the other that made them feel degraded, or if they have to be pressured into it not really willing, then that can be sinful, I think. I'm not talking about one spouse requesting something the other spouse may be unfamiliar with and need to "get used to" it but isn't really opposed, but more like almost forcing.

I do think porn is a sin, for the reasons mentioned in the above post.

As far as various physical acts, explorations, play-acting, cameras, costumes, toys, etc. ... I don't see anything inherently sinful in this, as long as both consent willingly and no one is hurt. (although doing anything mentally that would be a sin - deliberately fantasizing about adultery for example - would probably cross the line into sin)

It should go without saying that sex should be between the couple, and no other person should be involved of course.

Generally, I agree with this. I thought the phrase "causes distress to their spouse" and that paragraph was well stated. I do believe one spouse should be willing to do things that aren't their preference but so often trying to define where that is can be difficult. I think the phrase and paragraph Kylissa used is one of the best I have heard.

 

[LinkH]

I'm just curious, what is your thought on sinful sex in the marriage? Would willful bondage be sinful? Would watching porn with your spouse to spice it up be a sin? What are things you think would be crossing that line? Is there a line of sinful sex in the marriage between 1 man and 1 woman?

I interpret the epistle from the apostles and elders Acts 15 as the apostles seeing in the Old Testament what was forbidden to Gentiles and including certain key issues in the letter. One of those items is 'fornication.' Leviticus 18 lists various sexual sins, and toward the end of the passage, it says that the nations were driven out of the land for such things. Such things were sins for Gentiles. Also notice the restriction on blood, which was also given to Noah, ancestor of the Gentiles. The nonChristian Jews had a similar discussion. The Mishneh records their conclusions, probably a generation or so later, which came up with some similar restrictions for Gentiles baed on the idea that they ahd a covenant with God through Noah.

I see 'fornication' as including the sexual perversions mentioned in Leviticus 18. That being said, even in marriage, if you marry your sister, your father's wife, your father's brother's wife, and have sex with any of them, I think that's a sin. Because of the way I interpret the passage, I consider sex during menstruation a sin, also. Or at least I lean in that direction and if nothing else, it is a conscience issue for me.

Porn? Coveting is a sin. If a man looks at a woman to lust after her, he has committed adultery with her in his heart. Why would you want to show your spouse that stuff? Why would a guy want to see the 'junk' on those videos, too, and show a video that gives his wife a distorted view of the male anatomy to compare him with, or watch videos that eroticize weird things that almost no one would have eroticized if porn didn't exist? Why would a wife want her husband to watch a movie where he could see another naked women to compare him to, so he could lust after that woman and fantasize about her while he is sleeping with his wife?

It's also possible to sin by violating your spouses conscience. Let's suppose your spouse thinks something is sinful-- let's say using a certain method of birth control or doing some non-reproductive act. In your spouse's heart, using such a thing is rebellion against God, and in his/her heart, he would be sinning to do it. If you entice your spouse to sin, that's sinning.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

I agree with everyone else. I've heard of wives (and men of course) saying it helps the couple get in the mood and more aroused watching porn. But I feel like thats cheating really. Unless its your own uh "media" of yourselves then I don't really want to see it. The only person I want to see sexually is my wife. No one else.

Although I will say I think its ok to watch something like a education video. Assuming two things:
1. Your not calling porn educational (because its unrealistic).
2. Your not watching it to be turned on.

I mentioned before in my wifes country there was no sex ed. SHe literally could not name anything on either sexes genitally. So I showed her educational videos (from actual education sites) about how sex works, the diffrences between a man and a woman and stuff like that.

Of course there are some couples whos watch porn and call it educational. But porn just rots the mind and makes you think sex is some perfect thing thats always just amazing. Sex can be, but sometimes you aren't in the mood. Sometimes its messy. SOmetimes its bland. Avoid porn at all costs. It can lead to many other problems. Well and theres the fact its a sin.

 

[ParentofChildren]

I'm just curious, what is your thought on sinful sex in the marriage? Would willful bondage be sinful? Would watching porn with your spouse to spice it up be a sin? What are things you think would be crossing that line? Is there a line of sinful sex in the marriage between 1 man and 1 woman?

Point by point. Willful bondage in a marriage relationship is play and nothing I would call this sin. Watching true porn, is sin. It is adulterous to view someone other than your spouse for the purpose of stimulating sexual desire. Now if it was a how to video, clinical in nature, it may not be adulterous. The latter being informational & educational in content and presentation. Clinical. Sex can only be sinful between a husband and wife if it deviates in intention or act from what the Bible teaches. No animals, additional parties, selfish, not by force, etc...

It is a hard thing to put boundaries around. I am the more sexual and expressive and I bump into my wife's limits often. Love & sex should not be selfish. She had to adapt to my sexual desires, another aspect of marital bonding.

It is all good

 

[LinkH]

I don't think tying your willing spouse up is sinful. (Never done it or had it done, btw.) Maybe whipping your spouse with a bull whip or something like that after tying them up would be, even if they want you to. (Is that why people get tied up?)