Marriage - it may not be worth it anymore (for men)

[trophy33]

Was this video available at the time you posted a link to it? It isn't now.

Its still working and available.

 

[ZephBonkerer]

This statement cannot be considered, because it's irrelevant actually. It's actually victim blaming.

Not in this case. This person claimed that there were parties where men (including Brett Kavanaugh) would line up at a bedroom door to have their way with some girl who was passed out. This woman claimed to have attended ten of these parties. It is perfectly reasonable to question why she would even show up to the second, third, fourth, etc party.

Aside from that question, there was no evidence other than her testimony that these parties ever took place. This woman was also known to have made false statements of this nature before.

 

[ZephBonkerer]

While realizing the trend, the documentary does not understand the causes too well. But people in the comments section explained what are their real reasons.

Got it. I didn't bother to watch the video, but the comments said it all. The fear that it will be a disaster in the event of divorce. I can say much of that is unfounded. I am in the process of divorcing my soon-to-be-ex-wife. And I can tell you first-hand that divorce isn't a death sentence. I'm actually much more content now that I have a great set of friends and I'm no longer banging my head against a wall in the futile endeavor of trying to make a hopelessly failed marriage actually work.

I've had people say they've seen worse off marriage turned around successfully. Good for them. If they were in my shoes, they could elect to sit around and pray for a miracle that may never come. Or work tirelessly at a lost cause. That is their choice. But nobody gets to condemn or judge me for refusing to do the same. My marriage is over and done. I have moved on with my life.

And yes, I intend to date and I will likely eventually remarry. I don't have to become a eunuch and I refuse to become one. If anyone wishes to argue with me to the contrary, I will simply say to them "I'm right. You're wrong. End of discussion".

 

[trophy33]

Got it. I didn't bother to watch the video, but the comments said it all. The fear that it will be a disaster in the event of divorce. I can say much of that is unfounded. I am in the process of divorcing my soon-to-be-ex-wife. And I can tell you first-hand that divorce isn't a death sentence.

Nobody claims its a death sentence. However, it may lead to suicide or other kinds of premature deaths.

The claim of this thread is that the marriage may not be worth it anymore, in the West. The video is about this current trend and reasons are in the comments.

And yes, I intend to date and I will likely eventually remarry.

Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Lk 16:18

 

[ZephBonkerer]

Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Lk 16:18

We've been through this before, Myst! I'm right. You're wrong. End of discussion!

(And don't say I didn't warn you!)

 

[TheLastGeek]

Got it. I didn't bother to watch the video, but the comments said it all. The fear that it will be a disaster in the event of divorce. I can say much of that is unfounded. I am in the process of divorcing my soon-to-be-ex-wife. And I can tell you first-hand that divorce isn't a death sentence. I'm actually much more content now that I have a great set of friends and I'm no longer banging my head against a wall in the futile endeavor of trying to make a hopelessly failed marriage actually work.

I've had people say they've seen worse off marriage turned around successfully. Good for them. If they were in my shoes, they could elect to sit around and pray for a miracle that may never come. Or work tirelessly at a lost cause. That is their choice. But nobody gets to condemn or judge me for refusing to do the same. My marriage is over and done. I have moved on with my life.

And yes, I intend to date and I will likely eventually remarry. I don't have to become a eunuch and I refuse to become one. If anyone wishes to argue with me to the contrary, I will simply say to them "I'm right. You're wrong. End of discussion".

I love your attitude here. The "Christian community" is all too ready to rake people over the coals if they so much as mention being unhappy in marriage or thinking of separating/divorce. They would genuinely rather see people condemned to a life of misery and abuse than to let them part ways and seek grace, forgiveness, healing, and hope.

And, yes, that's a generalized statement. There are, of course, exceptions.

 

[ZephBonkerer]

I love your attitude here. The "Christian community" is all too ready to rake people over the coals if they so much as mention being unhappy in marriage or thinking of separating/divorce. They would genuinely rather see people condemned to a life of misery and abuse than to let them part ways and seek grace, forgiveness, healing, and hope.

And, yes, that's a generalized statement. There are, of course, exceptions.

Thank you very much for your words here. And this resonates with me especially because I know people who have faced church discipline for initiating divorce proceedings even for very serious reasons. I faced this kind of thing first-hand myself.

I can understand having a problem with someone who initiates a divorce for clearly selfish or trivial reasons, such as to run off with some OnlyFans model. But is the "Christian Community" truly incapable of discerning between that kind of thing, and a divorce for far more serious reasons? Even atheists have more moral sense than this!

If you want to know why I refuse to attend church, look no further! I still have some hard feelings about what happened with my excommunication.

 

[TheLastGeek]

Thank you very much for your words here. And this resonates with me especially because I know people who have faced church discipline for initiating divorce proceedings even for very serious reasons. I faced this kind of thing first-hand myself.

I can understand having a problem with someone who initiates a divorce for clearly selfish or trivial reasons, such as to run off with some OnlyFans model. But is the "Christian Community" truly incapable of discerning between that kind of thing, and a divorce for far more serious reasons? Even atheists have more moral sense than this!

If you want to know why I refuse to attend church, look no further! I still have some hard feelings about what happened with my excommunication.

I think that people - fallible as we are - have twisted, misinterpreted, and misapplied Scripture over the centuries, for many reasons. People tend to latch onto a single verse or passage and cling to it like a pitbull, rather than look at the whole of who God is, and what we know of Him and His nature. So, I don't blame God, or Christianity. And there are many, many Christians who treat people like you and I with gentleness and kindness and understanding, not condemnation and judgement. Those who speak in callousness and hardness of heart, are not - in my humble opinion - speaking for God.

 

[ZephBonkerer]

I think that people - fallible as we are - have twisted, misinterpreted, and misapplied Scripture over the centuries, for many reasons. People tend to latch onto a single verse or passage and cling to it like a pitbull, rather than look at the whole of who God is, and what we know of Him and His nature. So, I don't blame God, or Christianity. And there are many, many Christians who treat people like you and I with gentleness and kindness and understanding, not condemnation and judgement. Those who speak in callousness and hardness of heart, are not - in my humble opinion - speaking for God.

Once again, well said. God did not fail me in any way throughout my ordeal. It is those who honor the Lord with their lips and only their lips that did.

Jesus did not have many good things to say to those who made an idol out of the Sabbath, so I doubt He would be any more charitable towards those who do so with respect to marriage as an institution.

I have mourned the loss of my marriage. I have come to terms with the understanding that it cannot be saved. It was too far gone. Once this was plainly evident, I ceased reconciliation efforts. My refusal to continue reconciliation efforts does not constitute "open and unrepentant sin" per the words of the elders who cast me out.

 

[TheLastGeek]

Once again, well said. God did not fail me in any way throughout my ordeal. It is those who honor the Lord with their lips and only their lips that did.

Jesus did not have many good things to say to those who made an idol out of the Sabbath, so I doubt He would be any more charitable towards those who do so with respect to marriage as an institution.

I have mourned the loss of my marriage. I have come to terms with the understanding that it cannot be saved. It was too far gone. Once this was plainly evident, I ceased reconciliation efforts. My refusal to continue reconciliation efforts does not constitute "open and unrepentant sin" per the words of the elders who cast me out.

Without going into my own experiences, I know how you feel. It's still encouraging to me personally, to read your words.

 

[trophy33]

We've been through this before, Myst! I'm right. You're wrong. End of discussion!

(And don't say I didn't warn you!)

If you (repeatedly) post on Christian forums that you are divorcing and you plan to remarry after that, you will be called for that, because its against Christian values.

Who will stand for and honor stable families, marriages and society, if Christians will not?

If you want "end of discussion!", then do not mention your private affairs publicly.

P.S.: This is "Singles only" forum.

 

[Tranquil Bondservant]

Edit: As Zeph has withdrawn his comment I'm withdrawing mine. Ephesians 4:2

 

[ZephBonkerer]

If you (repeatedly) post on Christian forums that you are divorcing and you plan to remarry after that, you will be called for that, because its against Christian values.

Who will stand for and honor stable families, marriages and society, if Christians will not?

If you want "end of discussion!", then do not mention your private affairs publicly.

P.S.: This is "Singles only" forum.

I'm not interested in debating the merits (or lack thereof) of the Marriage Permanence Heresy with you people! That doctrine is heresy, it can be proven as such very easily, and there are multiple ways to do it.

I wrote the "End of discussion" part to discourage further debate on the matter. You people have a way of being pushy and obnoxious about that doctrine. And you just don't know when to stop! I'm telling you now - STOP!!!

I have every right to enter into another marriage under these circumstances. I recognize no obligation to become a eunuch simply because she up and decided to effectively abandon the marriage! I don't have to justify my life decisions to you people.

 

[trophy33]

I'm not interested in debating the merits (or lack thereof) of the Marriage Permanence Heresy with you people! That doctrine is heresy, it can be proven as such very easily, and there are multiple ways to do it.

I wrote the "End of discussion" part to discourage further debate on the matter. You people have a way of being pushy and obnoxious about that doctrine. And you just don't know when to stop! I'm telling you now - STOP!!!

I have every right to enter into another marriage under these circumstances. I recognize no obligation to become a eunuch simply because she up and decided to effectively abandon the marriage! I don't have to justify my life decisions to you people.

You may simple leave the topic as it is, instead of being hysterical, anxious or angry. Or keep your private affairs private in the first place.

Nobody forces you to debate anything.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

Thank you very much for your words here. And this resonates with me especially because I know people who have faced church discipline for initiating divorce proceedings even for very serious reasons. I faced this kind of thing first-hand myself.

I can understand having a problem with someone who initiates a divorce for clearly selfish or trivial reasons, such as to run off with some OnlyFans model. But is the "Christian Community" truly incapable of discerning between that kind of thing, and a divorce for far more serious reasons? Even atheists have more moral sense than this!

If you want to know why I refuse to attend church, look no further! I still have some hard feelings about what happened with my excommunication.

I thought excommunication was something that was done to the clergy, not just an attendee?

 

[ZephBonkerer]

[Deleted]

Edit: In retrospect, I believe it's best to not address this matter publicly for reasons that need not be disclosed.

 

[ZephBonkerer]

I thought excommunication was something that was done to the clergy, not just an attendee?

Excommunication is not limited to Catholic assemblies, nor is it limited to leadership.

If you ever watched Star Trek TNG, there is an episode ("Sins of the Father") where Lt Worf, a Klingon, faced discommendation for a crime his father did not commit. The discommendation was carried out. One by one, each Klingon in attendance crossed his arms and turned his back on Lt Worf. Excommunication is the Christian equivalent of discommendation.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not against church discipline per se - in fact more assemblies should practice it. Church discipline / excommunication gets a bad rap because it has at times been practiced in a manner that is abusive and unethical. There have been some noteworthy examples where a spouse seeking a divorce for very compelling reasons is placed under such discipline, and the result was a scandal that was an embarrassment to the Faith as a whole.

 

[Tranquil Bondservant]

Edit: As Zeph has withdrawn his comment I'm withdrawing mine. Colossians 3:13

 

[High Fidelity]

Got it. I didn't bother to watch the video, but the comments said it all. The fear that it will be a disaster in the event of divorce. I can say much of that is unfounded. I am in the process of divorcing my soon-to-be-ex-wife. And I can tell you first-hand that divorce isn't a death sentence. I'm actually much more content now that I have a great set of friends and I'm no longer banging my head against a wall in the futile endeavor of trying to make a hopelessly failed marriage actually work.

I've had people say they've seen worse off marriage turned around successfully. Good for them. If they were in my shoes, they could elect to sit around and pray for a miracle that may never come. Or work tirelessly at a lost cause. That is their choice. But nobody gets to condemn or judge me for refusing to do the same. My marriage is over and done. I have moved on with my life.

And yes, I intend to date and I will likely eventually remarry. I don't have to become a eunuch and I refuse to become one. If anyone wishes to argue with me to the contrary, I will simply say to them "I'm right. You're wrong. End of discussion".

How you choose to justify it to yourself is between you and God, and it will be weighed when the time comes. But don’t try and justify it to others when there are extremely few instances where divorce would be justified, and based on your previous posts that wasn’t the case.

You want to put yourself first and do whatever you want, clearly, but don’t try and defend the indefensible because there will be people unknowingly affected by your falsehoods.

Pretty sure I recall you previously trying to justify premarital sex ‘because going without just doesn’t work for me’ which says it all really. I guess carrying your cross got a little tiring and was left by the wayside a long time ago.

 

[ZephBonkerer]

How you choose to justify it to yourself is between you and God, and it will be weighed when the time comes. But don’t try and justify it to others when there are extremely few instances where divorce would be justified, and based on your previous posts that wasn’t the case.

You want to put yourself first and do whatever you want, clearly, but don’t try and defend the indefensible because there will be people unknowingly affected by your falsehoods.

Pretty sure I recall you previously trying to justify premarital sex ‘because going without just doesn’t work for me’ which says it all really. I guess carrying your cross got a little tiring and was left by the wayside a long time ago.

You people have a way of being often wrong but never in doubt. I am so done with the nonsensical legalism that you people love to peddle. I am also done with people who love the view from their high horse. You people remind me of the Pharisee who stood next to the tax gatherer in the Lord's temple.

First off, I do not defend premarital sex, only remarriage after a duly enacted divorce. I have every right to remarry and I intend to exercise that right in due time. There is no sin in getting a divorce for serious reasons, nor is there any sin in marrying again afterwards. See Deuteronomy 24:1-4, Matthew 5:17-18, Luke 16:17, 1 Corinthians 7:9, and 1 Corinthians 7:28.

If you think I would dump my wife for no good reason, then you don't know me at all. If you think I didn't explore every reasonable remedy short of divorce, or if you think I didn't work with her in good faith to resolve the serious issues in the marriage, then you are uninformed. I treated divorce as a remedy of last resort throughout the process.

In the end, she decided she wanted out. What do you people want me to do about it!? I am not a eunuch. I do not have to become a eunuch and I refuse to become one. If you find such refusal offensive, that's your problem!

I don't have to justify anything to you people as none of these actions constitute sin. If you disagree with my actions, that is your right. I don't need your approval.

Learn to read and understand the Word of God in its proper context!