Marriage is hard work :(

[ciaomamma]

Man marriage is hard work! I just can't seem to catch a break atm.
I'm a sahm of two under two, DH works full time and makes good money we are generally happy but something is amiss...
Today he worked from home, I left for the morning (which I usually do) and then the kids slept for most of the early afternoon, then we all went to run some errands together... and the rest of the day was terrible just atrocious!
We get the kids in the car and we go to a store, he's constantly aprehensive about DD running away which she never does, I go out with the kids nearly everyday I know how to handle her... and he just stresses me out.
Then we go to another store DS is alseep so he says he'll stay in the car, ok, but makes me take a two year old toddler with me, 10 min later I have to leave and drop her off in the car... again why would he not listen there was no way I could go into that store with her.
We get home and we are running a little late for dinner but I had pre prepared some of it so all I needed was him to play with the kids for 20 min... DD is all over the kitchen 'helping me' normally I love her helping but if I'm in a hurry it gets stressful, so again I tell him please look after the kids so I can get dinner going, he tells me he shouldn't have to and it's my side of the 'deal' and he doesn't ever asks me to help him at his job. I was so hurt by this as I don't see him playing with the kids as a burden...
He just believes I'm supposed to do it ALL!
Maybe I'm just not good enough maybe I don't do enough it just feels that no matter how much I do how hard I try it's not enough.
Tonight I had to swap two car seats from one car to the other (I had burned my fingers yesterday) and no help not even just the company... he's not good at that sort of thing but if I had seen him struggle like that I would have offered to help, instead I asked him to pull a belt to release it and it was like such an effort, I honestly don't know what's going on, 3 years ago we had a still birth and for a time after he was so attentive so sweet and caring where did that man go?
I'm struggling to understand if it's me or if it's him and what can I do?
We so love each other, but we're not in a good spot right now.

 

[razzelflabben]

Man marriage is hard work! I just can't seem to catch a break atm.
I'm a sahm of two under two, DH works full time and makes good money we are generally happy but something is amiss...
Today he worked from home, I left for the morning (which I usually do) and then the kids slept for most of the early afternoon, then we all went to run some errands together... and the rest of the day was terrible just atrocious!
We get the kids in the car and we go to a store, he's constantly aprehensive about DD running away which she never does, I go out with the kids nearly everyday I know how to handle her... and he just stresses me out.
Then we go to another store DS is alseep so he says he'll stay in the car, ok, but makes me take a two year old toddler with me, 10 min later I have to leave and drop her off in the car... again why would he not listen there was no way I could go into that store with her.
We get home and we are running a little late for dinner but I had pre prepared some of it so all I needed was him to play with the kids for 20 min... DD is all over the kitchen 'helping me' normally I love her helping but if I'm in a hurry it gets stressful, so again I tell him please look after the kids so I can get dinner going, he tells me he shouldn't have to and it's my side of the 'deal' and he doesn't ever asks me to help him at his job. I was so hurt by this as I don't see him playing with the kids as a burden...
He just believes I'm supposed to do it ALL!
Maybe I'm just not good enough maybe I don't do enough it just feels that no matter how much I do how hard I try it's not enough.
Tonight I had to swap two car seats from one car to the other (I had burned my fingers yesterday) and no help not even just the company... he's not good at that sort of thing but if I had seen him struggle like that I would have offered to help, instead I asked him to pull a belt to release it and it was like such an effort, I honestly don't know what's going on, 3 years ago we had a still birth and for a time after he was so attentive so sweet and caring where did that man go?
I'm struggling to understand if it's me or if it's him and what can I do?
We so love each other, but we're not in a good spot right now.

as I read this, two things came to my heart and mind...1. he (don't know about you) sees marriage as something that can be "dismissed". That is to say, that if he sees it as a "deal", he doesn't really understand what marriage is. Marriage according to scripture doesn't have "outs" like that. Its' about becoming one, not segregating duties or chores. It's about fulfilling each other, not about demanding your needs be met. Maybe you misspoke, I'm not trying to say I know something I couldn't possibly know from this post, but the wording you used, leaves me wondering if he (you) know what marriage really is and how to have a Godly marriage in the midst of a world that wants to see you fail.

2. I remember all to well, in fact, I would love to forget but can't, the feeling of not being enough. Long story how I came to that point...anyway, that is a lie from the Devil and should be discarded. None the less, the feeling does come from someplace, and that place is not where God needs you to be. In a Godly marriage (that is, one done the way God tells us to do it) the wife's value is restored to her. Now I am not suggesting it is all his fault. You both have a role in restoring that value. You do it through mutually understanding, accepting, and living in the roles that God has given and for the purpose He has given them. Basically that means that there are a couple of things I would advice. 1. pray that you and your husband would seek God together on the matter and be open to what He has for you, no matter how easy or difficult it might be. 2. talk with your husband, the painful things, the things that trouble you and the things you know will hurt him. Don't do it in an accusing way, but rather in an open honesty. I have taken to saying to my husband (and he is learning to do the say) "this is how I feel, it's my emotion, not necessarily truth"...then my husband usually responds "I see how you could feel that way, this is what I intended, how can we "fix" this"...then together we explore an answer that works for both of us. 3. Study the word of God together as per what He intends for your marriage. We are finishing this study as we speak (for publication) we begin in Eph. 5, then look at how Christ loved the Church in Isaiah 53 and couple that with how the Church was suppose to respond in Prov. 31 (the wife of noble character). In this way, both of you are challenged to grow in the Lord through your marriage and that growth alone will strengthen your relationship in ways you can't image.

Well that is my two cents...may you grow in the Lord. May you discover the marriage He intends for you to have.

 

[Inkachu]

Ciao - you need to sit down and have a serious heart-to-heart with him. Don't spring it on him - most guys clam up when you try to get "emotional" without warning lol. Tell him that you'd like to set aside some time to have a talk (I'd give it at least an hour or two), either after the kids are in bed or have someone pick them up so the house is quiet and there are no interruptions.

Something is obviously going on here, with him being so short-tempered, unwilling to be helpful, and acting as though the kids are "your" duty and not his. Obviously, I have no way of knowing what the reasons are for this, so you're going to have to try and uncover them yourself. Hopefully, if you lay out how you've been feeling and what you've been noticing, he'll be willing to share what's going on from HIS end. Try not to just throw a bunch of emotions at him "I feel___ and then I felt ___ and you really made me feel___". Guys are action-motivated. You need to describe something he did or said, or a specific situation you were both in, and THEN explain how that action or statement made you feel. We women can feel a billion different emotions throughout the day, and guys aren't like that, so just dumping (I call it "emotional barfing") all your feelings into his lap wouldn't be the best idea. Our husbands need to care about how we feel, yes, but they aren't us, and we need to learn to express our feelings in ways that they can "get it". For example, instead of saying "You always make me feel like I'm not good enough!" you could say "Remember when you said that helping with the kids wasn't part of YOUR job? That made me feel like my job as a mother isn't valuable and important to you, and it really hurt."

If having a heart-to-heart doesn't get you anywhere, don't be ashamed to call in a marriage counselor. It doesn't mean your marriage is broken or doomed, it just means you need some assistance, and there's no shame in that

 

[Inkachu]

And I just wanted to add - YES, marriage is hard work! You ain't kiddin' there, sister lol.

 

[ciaomamma]

I don't even know if there's a point to writing this down... anyway...
Tried to talk to him tonight, pointless completely pointless, I don't see this lasting if it keeps going like this, I wouldn't divorce but it would probably just be a parenting partnership. I honestly don't think he loves me, he says he does.
I tried to talk, I really wanted to listen to his side of things because I'm just confused about my feeling so I started the conversation and he says a sentence basically that he's not happy with me (as in my behaviour) atm and I say ok can you tell me more... he got all angry because I wouldn't say something and I tried to tell him I want to hear what you have to say and he tell me he did and I'm like well that was like a sentence! Oh It just went bad.
I dropped it and decided to think about things, I just don't see how we'll ever solve anything.
I asked him to play with the kids for 20 min when he gets home and he's willing to with the youngest but not the toddler who's really the one I need out of trouble from the kitchen, I explained that I need that time to get things on the table and that I'm scared she's going to hurt herself because she drags a chair to the kitchen and gets up to the counters, I keep getting her down she starts tantruming... he just told me to make things that I don't require 20 min to put together... I can't believe he'd say that.
Everything just looks so gloomy and depressing I hate my life right now

 

[LoveConquers]

I don't even know if there's a point to writing this down... anyway...
Tried to talk to him tonight, pointless completely pointless, I don't see this lasting if it keeps going like this, I wouldn't divorce but it would probably just be a parenting partnership. I honestly don't think he loves me, he says he does.
I tried to talk, I really wanted to listen to his side of things because I'm just confused about my feeling so I started the conversation and he says a sentence basically that he's not happy with me (as in my behaviour) atm and I say ok can you tell me more... he got all angry because I wouldn't say something and I tried to tell him I want to hear what you have to say and he tell me he did and I'm like well that was like a sentence! Oh It just went bad.
I dropped it and decided to think about things, I just don't see how we'll ever solve anything.
I asked him to play with the kids for 20 min when he gets home and he's willing to with the youngest but not the toddler who's really the one I need out of trouble from the kitchen, I explained that I need that time to get things on the table and that I'm scared she's going to hurt herself because she drags a chair to the kitchen and gets up to the counters, I keep getting her down she starts tantruming... he just told me to make things that I don't require 20 min to put together... I can't believe he'd say that.
Everything just looks so gloomy and depressing I hate my life right now

I'm sorry the "talk" didnt go well - I know how disappointing that can be.
However just note that going to a parenting partnership may not improve his desire to spend time with his children - in fact it may decrease even more.

Have you talked to him about going to counseling?

 

[akmom]

You just described my evening!

You are one of many wives on these forums whose husband has tried to pull that one. Mine used to do that too. "You take care of the house and kids, and I'll supply the income. Done!" That's not actually a fair split, since he probably works 8 hours and you 24. Not to mention that the raising children part is a dual effort.

he tells me he shouldn't have to and it's my side of the 'deal' and he doesn't ever asks me to help him at his job.

Don't you help him by providing childcare when he's at work? Why can't he provide childcare when you're working on your part?

he just told me to make things that I don't require 20 min to put together... I can't believe he'd say that.

Take him up on it. Peanut butter and jelly it is! See how many quick and easy meals he will tolerate before watching the kids for 20 minutes seems worth it. Maybe you can find some really nasty MREs. They're ready to eat when you buy them!

I called my husband out on these things back when it was an issue. Don't know if it was biblical, but I took the baby and left for a few days. You want me to do this alone? Fine, I'll do it alone. And you'll still provide financially because that's the law. (Please understand I am not advocating doing this, just suggesting that the "deal" is negotiable, however you want to show him that.) I remember having single friends, whose children got visitation with their fathers, and I just thought... they have that time to actually get stuff done or get a break, plus the fathers are actually forced to interact with the kids during their time. My husband is present but pawns all the childcare on me because I'm there. How is marriage better?? Well it's not inherently; you have to make it that way!

 

[razzelflabben]

I don't even know if there's a point to writing this down... anyway...
Tried to talk to him tonight, pointless completely pointless, I don't see this lasting if it keeps going like this, I wouldn't divorce but it would probably just be a parenting partnership. I honestly don't think he loves me, he says he does.
I tried to talk, I really wanted to listen to his side of things because I'm just confused about my feeling so I started the conversation and he says a sentence basically that he's not happy with me (as in my behaviour) atm and I say ok can you tell me more... he got all angry because I wouldn't say something and I tried to tell him I want to hear what you have to say and he tell me he did and I'm like well that was like a sentence! Oh It just went bad.
I dropped it and decided to think about things, I just don't see how we'll ever solve anything.
I asked him to play with the kids for 20 min when he gets home and he's willing to with the youngest but not the toddler who's really the one I need out of trouble from the kitchen, I explained that I need that time to get things on the table and that I'm scared she's going to hurt herself because she drags a chair to the kitchen and gets up to the counters, I keep getting her down she starts tantruming... he just told me to make things that I don't require 20 min to put together... I can't believe he'd say that.
Everything just looks so gloomy and depressing I hate my life right now

deep breath...focus on God...pray...okay, what might be the reason he doesn't want to spend time with the toddler? Any ideas at all? Something from the past? Some lesson taught that needs untaught? Can you think of anything at all?

 

[Hetta]

I called my husband out on these things back when it was an issue. Don't know if it was biblical, but I took the baby and left for a few days. You want me to do this alone? Fine, I'll do it alone. And you'll still provide financially because that's the law.

Just curious: did that work?

 

[Hetta]

And I agree with putting together a few PB&J dinners and see how it goes from there, but it would have to be done without any passive/aggressive comments. Just serve it up with a sweet smile and say "this is all I can really manage with the baby in the kitchen." IDK where he is coming from, but he has a very lazy attitude.

 

[Inkachu]

You just described my evening!

You are one of many wives on these forums whose husband has tried to pull that one. Mine used to do that too. "You take care of the house and kids, and I'll supply the income. Done!" That's not actually a fair split, since he probably works 8 hours and you 24. Not to mention that the raising children part is a dual effort.



Don't you help him by providing childcare when he's at work? Why can't he provide childcare when you're working on your part?



Take him up on it. Peanut butter and jelly it is! See how many quick and easy meals he will tolerate before watching the kids for 20 minutes seems worth it. Maybe you can find some really nasty MREs. They're ready to eat when you buy them!

I called my husband out on these things back when it was an issue. Don't know if it was biblical, but I took the baby and left for a few days. You want me to do this alone? Fine, I'll do it alone. And you'll still provide financially because that's the law. (Please understand I am not advocating doing this, just suggesting that the "deal" is negotiable, however you want to show him that.) I remember having single friends, whose children got visitation with their fathers, and I just thought... they have that time to actually get stuff done or get a break, plus the fathers are actually forced to interact with the kids during their time. My husband is present but pawns all the childcare on me because I'm there. How is marriage better?? Well it's not inherently; you have to make it that way!

I agree with everything stated here! Men/husbands often don't get that kids are a 24 HOUR A DAY, 365 DAY A YEAR job. You don't GET time off. They think nothing of flopping in front of the TV, napping on Sunday afternoons, working on their own little projects, and do they ever come to their wives and say "I'd like to do ___ , can you watch the kids for a while?" No, because it's just ASSUMED that the mom/wife has the kids under her eye every single moment of every day (unless she specifically "requests" a break). And if the wife just took off and went shopping or went to sleep or went off to work outside, without saying to her husband "can you keep an eye on the kids while I do ___"? They'd be completely unsupervised! So why is it OK for the husband to do it? It's not. It's completely lopsided and unfair. A lot of men seem to view their kids as this novel little side-job that they can invest in here and there, and they've done their "duty" as a father. "Hey, I changed a diaper a week ago! I took them to the playground yesterday! I read them a story the other night!" Guess what? WE DO THAT DAY IN AND DAY OUT.

/unreasonable rant

 

[akmom]

Just curious: did that work?

It did for me. I think I hurt his pride that time. I was hesitant to divulge that because I'm not actually suggesting any one else do it. It was my particular way of showing him that such arrangement was not a "given." That I wasn't stuck or desperate enough to settle for that. I'm not even sure it is biblical behavior for a wife, in line with the Ephesians 5:22.

And by the way, how is 20 minutes a long time to prepare a meal? That's a fast meal by my standards. What did his mother feed him, crackers?

 

[Inkachu]

It did for me. I think I hurt his pride that time. I was hesitant to divulge that because I'm not actually suggesting any one else do it. It was my particular way of showing him that such arrangement was not a "given." That I wasn't stuck or desperate enough to settle for that. I'm not even sure it is biblical behavior for a wife, in line with the Ephesians 5:22.

And by the way, how is 20 minutes a long time to prepare a meal? That's a fast meal by my standards. What did his mother feed him, crackers?

Maybe stop fixing his meal altogether. After all, he's not DOING ANYTHING when you're busy trying to fix dinner AND watch the little one. He can make his own meal.

I tell ya, it's a shame that sometimes you have to stoop low to get someone's attention, but I always say, if you wanna act like a child, expect to be treated like one!

 

[LoveConquers]

And by the way, how is 20 minutes a long time to prepare a meal? That's a fast meal by my standards. What did his mother feed him, crackers?

Crackers!? LOL, that gave me a much needed chuckle!

 

[tall73]

I don't even know if there's a point to writing this down... anyway...
Tried to talk to him tonight, pointless completely pointless, I don't see this lasting if it keeps going like this, I wouldn't divorce but it would probably just be a parenting partnership. I honestly don't think he loves me, he says he does.
I tried to talk, I really wanted to listen to his side of things because I'm just confused about my feeling so I started the conversation and he says a sentence basically that he's not happy with me (as in my behaviour) atm and I say ok can you tell me more... he got all angry because I wouldn't say something and I tried to tell him I want to hear what you have to say and he tell me he did and I'm like well that was like a sentence! Oh It just went bad.
I dropped it and decided to think about things, I just don't see how we'll ever solve anything.
I asked him to play with the kids for 20 min when he gets home and he's willing to with the youngest but not the toddler who's really the one I need out of trouble from the kitchen, I explained that I need that time to get things on the table and that I'm scared she's going to hurt herself because she drags a chair to the kitchen and gets up to the counters, I keep getting her down she starts tantruming... he just told me to make things that I don't require 20 min to put together... I can't believe he'd say that.
Everything just looks so gloomy and depressing I hate my life right now

Something is odd if he only wants to watch one child but not the other. Did he do this with the other child at that age? Is he afraid of diaper changing?

Just some background, my wife is a stay at home mother as well. I worked from a home office for the time when my children were young, which did help out, because I was able to help her when she needed it. This was especially true when we had twin girls when our son was less than two--busy times! She does currently handle most of the housework and domestic issues. On the other hand, I think the father, apart from helping with various housework if the wife needs help, or just if they agree on various chores, should always help with the kids. She always indicated to me that this was more important than other help because she needed some time to herself, and also needed some time to actually do the other chores without the kids hanging on. And of course, fathers should enjoy being with their kids.

Otherwise the father cannot expect to have any role in developing them morally, getting to know them so they can discuss things with him, etc. The Bible gives both parents the duty to teach children God's ways (in the old testament, the law, where they were to instruct them along the way when they lay down, etc. in other words, all the time). And in Ephesians fathers are told not to exasperate their children, which implies discipline.

Hebrews references God disciplining us as a father would.

Heb 12:7 It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline?
Heb 12:8 If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.
Heb 12:9 Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live?

Quite simply it is his role to help with the children as well, and he has a duty to make sure they are growing to be moral, Godly and spiritual people. Not to mention not starving or getting into trouble. Even Jesus referenced that a father knows how to give good things to his child.

Of course, I am sure this is not news to you, but it may be news to him.

It may help to know a bit about your situation. You mentioned the earlier miscarriage when he was very tender towards you. How has he usually been as far as spirituality? Is this quite uncharacteristic of him in general? Has something changed that you know of?

Does he ever seem to ENJOY time with the kids? What does he do when he has his own free time? is there something that he is doing that is consuming his time or may be an addiction that kids would detract from (IE, video games, sports, etc.?)

Ultimately if a parent cannot enjoy being with their child, something is rather wrong. It should not be viewed as a hassle. I am not saying that things don't come up for both parents where having the child along makes things difficult. But being with your kids is much of the fun of life, and should be for fathers as well as mothers.

 

[ciaomamma]

lol I actually made peanut butter and jam sandwiches for dinner!
He does like to spend time with the kids, he explained that he feels like he doesn't interact with the baby, because when he gets home he has about half an hour before he gets hungry or tiered an wants mummy. He does our toddler'a bath time so he spends more time with her but ya he just doesn't get it that I'm on 24 hours a day 7 days a week, he doesn't understand how draining it can be to redirect teach and entertain a toddler and a baby.
I think yesterday's chat rattled his cage a bit, even tho he might get antagonistic I have to believe he wants us to work so anyway today was a good day, he took over the wrangling of the kids while I did some housework and two hours later he's telling me he's ready for a nap!
I kept reminding myself 'servant's heart' have a servants heart it helped not get cranky when I managed to grab a coffee an hour after I got up, after I had made him a coffee fed the baby fed the toddler made baby food for the day fed the dog... basically everyone!
I've also made some decisions that will hopefully alleviate some stresses. It's funny but some things I was so resistant about I feel I can let go, I don't know what's changed in me but it feels good.
I think he has a lot of stress at work and he comes home and within an hour the kids are tiered and tiered kids are not happy kids he's told me he feels like he gets the 'bad end of the day' but I can't do anything about it while they're so little...
Lots to work out and think about but I love the responses! I love this forum I don't have any christian friends whom I can get a biblical prospective from so this helps a lot.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

Maybe stop fixing his meal altogether. After all, he's not DOING ANYTHING when you're busy trying to fix dinner AND watch the little one. He can make his own meal.

I tell ya, it's a shame that sometimes you have to stoop low to get someone's attention, but I always say, if you wanna act like a child, expect to be treated like one!

lol. Not at the situation at hand of course. THe comment.

I laugh because while my parents love each other, my dads gotten to used to being the bread winner so my mom is always making him meals for work. But with her health in decline she can't always do it. So if she doesn't make him a meal he takes a few dollars out of her purse and buys something at work (which usually is of no good).

I told her to stop making his meals if hes going to take it for granted and sit and watch tv after work but not make a meal for work. She tried now that she doens't keep money on her anymore. He usually just packs something simple like bringing a whole can of beans to work or PB&J. Or makes two sandwiches with deli meat... like half the package (10 slices) of meat. Which annoys my mom more because he can't eat small realistic portions.

So now shes back to packing hsi lunches because its better then him packing his own. They manage to work things out (well most things) and are still married 35+ years later. I think sometimes the other spouse just gets to used to a lifestyle and forgets how much the other person does.

Bills don't pay themselves. Dishes don't clean themselves. PHone calls don't do it themselves...etc. If anything I think being an at home spouse is harder work, especially considering your job doesn't really end at a specific time nor do you get paid.

 

[tall73]

lol I actually made peanut butter and jam sandwiches for dinner!
He does like to spend time with the kids, he explained that he feels like he doesn't interact with the baby, because when he gets home he has about half an hour before he gets hungry or tiered an wants mummy. He does our toddler'a bath time so he spends more time with her but ya he just doesn't get it that I'm on 24 hours a day 7 days a week, he doesn't understand how draining it can be to redirect teach and entertain a toddler and a baby.
I think yesterday's chat rattled his cage a bit, even tho he might get antagonistic I have to believe he wants us to work so anyway today was a good day, he took over the wrangling of the kids while I did some housework and two hours later he's telling me he's ready for a nap!
I kept reminding myself 'servant's heart' have a servants heart it helped not get cranky when I managed to grab a coffee an hour after I got up, after I had made him a coffee fed the baby fed the toddler made baby food for the day fed the dog... basically everyone!
I've also made some decisions that will hopefully alleviate some stresses. It's funny but some things I was so resistant about I feel I can let go, I don't know what's changed in me but it feels good.
I think he has a lot of stress at work and he comes home and within an hour the kids are tiered and tiered kids are not happy kids he's told me he feels like he gets the 'bad end of the day' but I can't do anything about it while they're so little...
Lots to work out and think about but I love the responses! I love this forum I don't have any christian friends whom I can get a biblical prospective from so this helps a lot.

Well it sounds like he took things to heart a bit. That is good. Sometimes it just takes saying something to remind folks.

 

[MLEN]

Hubby and I had similar disagreements when our kids were little. Seems many think being a stay at home mom is a walk through the park. I realize that he just could not understand unless he experienced it himself. Then I got the flu real bad and I couldn't be the nurse, mom and wife I usually was. He had to do everything for about a week. At the end of the week the house was a mess, he was physically and emotionally drained - but he understood then what it takes to care for the little ones daily. After that, we made a deal that whenever we went out together he saw to the needs of our son while I tended to the needs of our daughter. Been that way ever since. Pray for wisdom on how to address the matter with him. And if you can, see if there is some way that you can call in a sitter so that the two of you can reconnect through regular date nights (even if it is once every month or two).

One other tip: try not to always jump in when he must deal with the children. Gradually he will learn their personalities and needs and will figure out how to handle them just like you had to learn how to.

 

[ciaomamma]

It really is a matter of him not understanding what it's like, I try to put myself in his shoes all the time but I really doubt he puts himself in mine, I know it's the stage in life we're at and it'll pass and we'll look back at it in fondness... but it's so infuriating! Yesterday he must have sat on the couch watching sports all day! I didn't sit down till 10pm.
It really feels like I cannot take anytime for myself if I do I'm behind, for example if I sit down when he gets home from work I'll be behind with dinner, I have lunch when the kids nap I'll miss out on doing some of my housework, it's exhausting and no matter how organise I am it's always not organised enough.
I wish I could clone myself lol