Marriage Infidelity

[kisapuckett]

Marriage Infidelity is never an immediate or sudden event but

generally evolves over a period of time and while infidelity seems to

be common heartache in today's society, the causes are not because

all people are different and their needs as well as their short

comings are all very individual. However many times Marriage

Infidelity starts with a "cold war" that festers in the hearts of

spouses creating stony abscesses that are difficult to remove, but

there is hope when people begin to realize that the Lord's atonement

is the answer to our daily and most often painful predicaments.


Christ's sacrifice will reach deep into every trouble, and every hurt

as long as we are humble enough to seek Him and His advice. Ezekiel

36:26 "I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh." For

Christ's mission was to make Peace and Good Will possible. He is our

peace and Paul declared that he will break down the middle wall of

partition and abolished in His flesh the enmity. (For reference see

Ephesians 2:14 & 15)


Hearts that have been hardened against loved ones by ridicule or anger will

literally push away and alienate friendships and affections. As human

beings, who have been created in the image of a loving God, we need to

feel loved and cherished so it behoves all of us to provide caring,

compassionate understanding especially to your spouses. In turning to

Christ we can not only heal, but hopefully prevent the heartache of

Marriage Infidelity.

 

[JanniGirl]

I'm going to have to disagree. While some infidelities within marriage are as you described, I believe that a good number of sexual infidelities (and I include fantasy, inappropriate content use, and emotional infidelities) are brought about by the sinful nature of the lone individual rather than a disfunction in the relationship as a whole.

 

[kisapuckett]

Hi JanniGirl! Thank you for your feedback and insight. There are actually many variables to the whole spectrum of marriage infidelity which each having their own unique circumstances, however although there are some times other underlining issues, as you mentioned, there is most times a disconnect within the relationship too where a solid foundation is missing from the marriage. This post is specifically about one type and one problem that many DO experience and the cause of this particular experience.

I will be addressing other types in future posts that will outline other aspects of marriage infidelity to help those that are in need because having a solid foundation in your marriage is KEY.

Again thank you for your comment!

 

[jham123]

Kisa, Well put, I got a lot from your original post.

Please don't allow this thread to become another "Man Bashing" thread as some have already attempted.

The words you speak go both ways and there is not a singular act from either sex that creates or elevates the "Cold War". For some to elude that the Cold War has begun in a marriage solely by the acts of one sex or the other would be a sure sign of defensiveness and in-ability for self awareness.

The woman needs to be informed that she is loved and cherished daily

conversely, the man needs to feel respected by daily actions.

practice these acts towards your spouse (with out the expectations of reciprocation, love is patient) and watch the walls crumble to dust. (I always hear Reagan's voice saying "tear down that wall")

 

[brokenchristianwomen]

Hello,

This weekend, I found out some horrifing news. My husband had been unfaithful to me a few years ago. It wasn't enought that he was involved with his addictions, but he also had to cheat on me after all the standing by him I did. I had suspected a person that he was hanging out with, and asked him if they have. He told me to my face that he never touched her, only that he kissed her. I told him, please put me out of my misery and just tell me so I can deal with it and move on. Her proseded to get angry. This weekend, while meeting with the paster and his wife. I asked him one last time if he had cheated on me. He told me that he had, and with the person I was wondering about. He also told me that he had slept with 2 other women besideds her. Also, at one point, he had picked up a prostitute but couldn't go through with it. I am so sad,and I was starting to belive the lies. I thought he was different when it came to cheating on there spouse. I was wrong! He is like every other man out there. Just when I was going to start trusting him again from all the other stuff, this comes up......Renee

 

[jham123]

BCW, I am sure you are livid with him. Please understand that if he is like "Every other man out there" that he most likely would not have cheated.

BCW, also it might be good to make your own thread rather than post the whole story within Kisa's thread.

 

[kisapuckett]

Thanks jham123! I truly appreciate your comments and support and am delighted that you have gotten some value out of it. I truly do post to speak to those who are open and can find value in my content. Again thank you for your feedback!

 

[jham123]

I think it hit home at just the right time.....for me anyway.

I hope others can root out the true meaning of what you posted. I've read it three times and I see a lot of "us" (me and my wife)(not the cheating part) in there and lots of things we've done to create the cold war within our own household from criticism etc.

It's tough to remain positive sometimes with your spouse over the years as you yourself are going through your own trying (aka tempting) times.

Read, the original post again if you feel your spouse is letting you down in some way or another.

Just my two cents, but Kisa put it better

 

[brokenchristianwomen]

i'm sorry, I didn't realize . I'm not thinking straight right now

 

[kisapuckett]

Hey there jham123!

What you have shared is so very true and I can definitely attest to that. My marriage struggled with this too, many years ago so I know what you are going through (but like you, not with marriage infidelity).

I just would like to encourage you to rest and know that God can handle what seems to be impossible and remove the burdens that feel so overwhelming. He will keep you at perfect peace and make your path and direction in life straight. Just as the scriptures below support, you have something greater in life that has your back at the most difficult seasons in your life and His name is...JESUS!

Matthew 11:28-30 - "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Proverbs 3:5-6 - Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

John 16:33 - "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

 

[kisapuckett]

Hello BrokenChristianWomen,

No problem. I am sorry that you are dealing with this very challenging time right now in your marriage life. Just remember that the Lord is your strength and when you feel like you don't have anything left to hold on to, He will carry you.

Psalm 34:17-20 - The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. A righteous man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all; he protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken.

Philippians 4:13 - I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Timothy 4:18 - The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory for ever and ever. Amen.