- Oct 8, 2016
- 309
- 366
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Married
I seem to be in a minority with this view and experience, but it's very much been the case with me.
When I was in my teenage years, I figured I'd probably have to get married. While I wanted to be the Apostle Paul's ideal and remain single (1 Corinthians 7:34), I found out I couldn't really do it. I'd see good-looking guys and want to touch them all the time. The only way to deal with that, and avoid fornication, was to get married to one.
I've read and heard so many negative things about marriage in both secular and Christian culture. You see things like angry feminists and angry MGTOW incel types, and it amazes me how much animosity there can be between the sexes (usually the women complain about the men being distant or violent, and the men complain about the women hating sex or not being submissive). I also see people mock marriage, say it doesn't suit the 21st century or some nonsense, or I hear about horror stories of bad marriages. But meanwhile, you always see things like motherhood get put on a pedestal. Not wifehood, but motherhood. Even friendships seem to get more respect than marriages.
But I've never had an especially close female friend. And I haven't had the bad experience with marriage that I read and hear about so often. I spend far more time with my husband than any other person. But we also spend lots of time doing our own things alone at home. We've mastered the art of togetherness while also carving out our own spaces.
The few friendships I have somewhat maintained with other women, I notice these women are all very systematic. I don't make friendships readily with more traditional women. They find me very difficult to understand, and I find them difficult to understand. Best just to remain distant.
Marriage is better too because the rewards are better. A handsome husband is exciting and makes me tingle all over. No female friendship can replace that. There are things that go on (or are at least supposed to go on) in marriage that simply cannot happen between same-sex, heterosexual friendships. So those kinds of friendships will never be as interesting or rewarding as marriage.
Such has been the case with me throughout my adult life. Since this is not the typical case, it's hard for me to see the perspectives of other women, who usually don't see things the way I do regarding these matters.
When I was in my teenage years, I figured I'd probably have to get married. While I wanted to be the Apostle Paul's ideal and remain single (1 Corinthians 7:34), I found out I couldn't really do it. I'd see good-looking guys and want to touch them all the time. The only way to deal with that, and avoid fornication, was to get married to one.
I've read and heard so many negative things about marriage in both secular and Christian culture. You see things like angry feminists and angry MGTOW incel types, and it amazes me how much animosity there can be between the sexes (usually the women complain about the men being distant or violent, and the men complain about the women hating sex or not being submissive). I also see people mock marriage, say it doesn't suit the 21st century or some nonsense, or I hear about horror stories of bad marriages. But meanwhile, you always see things like motherhood get put on a pedestal. Not wifehood, but motherhood. Even friendships seem to get more respect than marriages.
But I've never had an especially close female friend. And I haven't had the bad experience with marriage that I read and hear about so often. I spend far more time with my husband than any other person. But we also spend lots of time doing our own things alone at home. We've mastered the art of togetherness while also carving out our own spaces.
The few friendships I have somewhat maintained with other women, I notice these women are all very systematic. I don't make friendships readily with more traditional women. They find me very difficult to understand, and I find them difficult to understand. Best just to remain distant.
Marriage is better too because the rewards are better. A handsome husband is exciting and makes me tingle all over. No female friendship can replace that. There are things that go on (or are at least supposed to go on) in marriage that simply cannot happen between same-sex, heterosexual friendships. So those kinds of friendships will never be as interesting or rewarding as marriage.
Such has been the case with me throughout my adult life. Since this is not the typical case, it's hard for me to see the perspectives of other women, who usually don't see things the way I do regarding these matters.