Marriage breaking up

[Techbot]

Lots of prayer for marriages on here...not good. Currently I'm at a relatives house here...my wife insisted that I move out tonight Pray for our marriage. She has said that she has no desire to work it out. I still do and I'm still trying. We neeeeeed prayer.

 

[AnnMercy2]

I pray that the Lord heals your marriage

 

[HesMyAll]

ing.

 

[Stanfi]

I believe that God can heal any relationship, no matter how broken it may be. Praying for your marriage..

 

[Christi]

I will pray for you both.

 

[PuppyforChrist]

Praying for you and your wife.

 

[jesus_freak_for_life]

praying
update! and keep the faith.

 

[wvmtnkid]

Praying for you and your wife, Techbot. I pray that healing will come and your realtionship with one another will be restored. Whatever it takes.....

 

[Vollkommen Warrior]

Praying for you both. Just curious, is she Christian? If she is, you would think she wants to work it out. Just curious.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Well, she shook hands on the deal, signed on the bottom line and probably in front of a lot of witnesses too. She needs to be reminded that she made this committment for life including the times it was going to suck.
If she has a problem with that she should have thought about that before she said "I do."

 

[Hands&Feet]

Brother, my heart and prayers are with you. I had the same misfortune 11 years ago. I lost her. Some things I have learned: Don't pressure her. Communicate, but don't pressure. Don't remind her of God's judgement; remind her of His unconditional love. It is okay to send flowers or a gift ONCE-IN-A-WHILE. And, although she may do the wrong thing with the space, you still must give it to her.
This is important: God gives us all a free-will. What many people don't understand is that if He didn't give us a choice, He would be placing conditions on His love for us. Likewise, we must love our spouses (and fellowman) the same way. Even if she has an affair, give her time and choose to love her even when it seems impossible.
That will hurt. I can promise you. If you really love her, you have a lot of pain coming, but God will be with you and He will comfort and provide for you. You will discover ways to exchange the pain for intimacy with God.
Here is the great news: If you don't lose hope, you will come out of this a better man and a better lover. You will discover the depths of God's love like you have never known it before and you will be able to extend that love to others.
If she comes back, she will get a real bargain and, since you will love her in a whole new way, so will you.
I won't comment on the "what if she doesn't" because we are all going to pray that God's will prevails for the both of you and that God will bless you with a true miracle.
Remember, Rome wasn't built in a day. We all want a quick fix, but some things take time. Focus your emotions on caring for the needs of others so that you don't get overwhelmed with your own grief. Be patient and don't allow anger to get a foothold. Always displace it with compassion.

Let me know how things are progressing.
God Bless you.

 

[GirlForChrist]

Well, she shook hands on the deal, signed on the bottom line and probably in front of a lot of witnesses too. She needs to be reminded that she made this committment for life including the times it was going to suck.
If she has a problem with that she should have thought about that before she said "I do."

I totally agree with my dear brother in Christ, Mr.Cheese.
I'll be for you and your wife...for your as individuals and as a couple. Have you suggested marital counciling?

 

[Techbot]

She suggested it awhile back when we were fighting. It was small things like any couple so I didn't think we needed counselling. Now 3yrs later, its gotten much worse and she has just lost the desire for counselling. We don't really have the means to pay for a pro. and she doesn't want to go to the pastor of the church because we haven't been going there like we used to. She grew up there and I'm guessing she doesn't want to be embarrassed or something like that by going to this man.

 

[Techbot]

Brother, my heart and prayers are with you. I had the same misfortune 11 years ago. I lost her. Some things I have learned: Don't pressure her. Communicate, but don't pressure. Don't remind her of God's judgement; remind her of His unconditional love. It is okay to send flowers or a gift ONCE-IN-A-WHILE. And, although she may do the wrong thing with the space, you still must give it to her.
This is important: God gives us all a free-will. What many people don't understand is that if He didn't give us a choice, He would be placing conditions on His love for us. Likewise, we must love our spouses (and fellowman) the same way. Even if she has an affair, give her time and choose to love her even when it seems impossible.
That will hurt. I can promise you. If you really love her, you have a lot of pain coming, but God will be with you and He will comfort and provide for you. You will discover ways to exchange the pain for intimacy with God.
Here is the great news: If you don't lose hope, you will come out of this a better man and a better lover. You will discover the depths of God's love like you have never known it before and you will be able to extend that love to others.
If she comes back, she will get a real bargain and, since you will love her in a whole new way, so will you.
I won't comment on the "what if she doesn't" because we are all going to pray that God's will prevails for the both of you and that God will bless you with a true miracle.
Remember, Rome wasn't built in a day. We all want a quick fix, but some things take time. Focus your emotions on caring for the needs of others so that you don't get overwhelmed with your own grief. Be patient and don't allow anger to get a foothold. Always displace it with compassion.

Let me know how things are progressing.
God Bless you.

Thanks for that insight...she hasn't had an affair. But she HAS told me that all these times she's gone out with her "friends" that she's kissed a few (one of the couples she hangs out with has an 'open' marriage) and snuggled during some movies with two of them. While its not sexual, it still bothered me...immensely. I've still told her I love her and that I want to work things out, but she's told me that she doesn't think she's in love anymore.

It's long and complicated (what breakup isn't?) but she also holds things against me that happened before we were married - when we weren't even dating (we had broken up at that point). THAT in itself is hard for me to convince her to let go of. She uses that as a reason not to trust me.

 

[admtaylor]

I just went throught this techbot. Stay focused on God above all. He pulled through for me, and with what's stated in the Bible it's obviously His will that you stay together, so He's in your court. If God's in your court you have a major advantage. As Hands and Feet said DON'T be overbearing. Communicate with her as much as she will allow, but don't push it. Show her your love in different ways when she allows, but don't push it. Being overbearing in a situation like this can cause much more trouble, believe me I started down that road with my wife and the Lord woke me up to my mistake.

I'll pray for you.

 

[Techbot]

Thanks guys I'm not overbearing by nature, but we have two daughters, ages 4 and 2 that I miss very much. I've gotten kinda hot under the collar when we've been talking about our marriage because I miss these babies a LOT.

 

[ChristianMommy]