Marriage Box

[Hotinco]

Marriage Box​

Most people get married believing a myth that marriage is a beautiful box full of all the things they have longed for; companionship, intimacy, friendship etc. The truth is that marriage at the start is an empty box. You must put something in before you can take anything out. There is no love in marriage. Love is in people. And people put love in marriage. There is no romance in marriage. You have to infuse it into your marriage. A couple must learn the art and form the habit of giving, loving, serving, praising, of keeping the box full. If you take out more than you put in, the box will be empty.​

 

[akmom]

I agree. When a spouse is loving and considerate, it's easy to be loving and considerate back. That's kind of where I'm at in my marriage and I'm very thankful for it.

Except sometimes the dynamic goes differently, and the receiving spouse just becomes accustomed to the treatment and expects it, and doesn't give any thought to reciprocation. Or they assign more value to their contributions than they assign to the other person's, and therefore feel perpetually "owed." I'm not sure how couples can get past that disagreement on expectations.