Marriage advice for the non-Christian

[Shattered-Reflections]

This may not be the right place for this, but I was hoping someone could recommend a book. Book Advice?

My mother is leaving tomorrow morning to help with my brother's and his wife. For time's sake I won't go into all the details, but neither one of them seem to know how to treat each other in love. There's been so much hurt, fear, and paranoia on both sides. Their marriage may not be savable, but they have a child (2 yrs) who they both claim they cannot live without. My brother has a lot of emotional problems, I don't know if he literally will live without her. They need to at least live close and learn to get along and share their daughter. Neither are Christian, my brother is antagonistic against Christianity/God.

My mother wants to reintroduce them to "fireproof" work book to help show them how to treat each other in love. But I'm not sure if a "Christian-y" book is the best. Can someone recommend a good book/work book for a troubled marriage that doesn't mention God? Maybe one with a Christian values about selfless love but isn't heavy-handed with religion?

We'd only have access to local stores tonight/in the morning (Barns and Noble, walmart, etc). She's going to Asia so unless I mail her something she won't have access to a lot of English books.

Thank you for reading.

 

[BFine]

The husband has emotional issues? Is he getting any sort of
treatment or counseling?

The wife is also dealing with hurt, fear and paranoia?
Is she getting any sort of counseling?

There's a two year child caught in the middle of all this?
Who's going to see that the child is safe from all the emotional
and verbal abuse that the parents heap on one another?

Sounds like a volatile situation, one needs to tread carefully here--
before you go handing them a book, get on your knees and be praying
for wisdom in how to handle this "hot mess".

 

[Shattered-Reflections]

The husband has emotional issues? Is he getting any sort of
treatment or counseling?

The wife is also dealing with hurt, fear and paranoia?
Is she getting any sort of counseling?

There's a two year child caught in the middle of all this?
Who's going to see that the child is safe from all the emotional
and verbal abuse that the parents heap on one another?

Sounds like a volatile situation, one needs to tread carefully here--
before you go handing them a book, get on your knees and be praying
for wisdom in how to handle this "hot mess".

Yes, but mostly no to my knowledge. They have talked a little with a counselor but not much. They go back and forth from being open to help. My brother doesn't seek out treatment or medication, but something we're trying to encourage. We've been encouraging counseling too. This has been ongoing for the last 2 years+

No, there isn't anyone to keep the child from the fighting. The wife took the child recently and left which has caused more hurt, fear, and abondament. That's why my mother is going to help care for the child and help lessen the paranoia. Both have expressed my mother coming as a positive thing. My mother isn't good with words, the book was to help express to them (the couple) how to work through things. They are both intelligent but very immature and don't seem to realize that acting on their fears is causing their fears to come true. They are both afraid the other will steal the child, but the wife is the only one who has.

It is a hot mess. This situation has been a constant prayer.

 

[tturt]

"Tjhe Five Love Languages" by Chapman.

"Love and Respect" by Emerson who was a pastor for decades. It's based on Scripture - He's to love her and she needs to Respect him. I know you said they aren't believers but ...

 

[Quasicentennial]

Allowing or accepting Jesus in one's life is much more than all the words in a dictionary, much more than all the different languages besides English, much more than what doctors can give on healing-assisted medication, or a psychiatrist's view or advice on health, safety and discipline - the supernatural abundance of Christ's positive peace and joy has to be experienced with a total focus on faith, to really believe that he really exists, spiritually as a fighting force for our health and safety - while we are still young:.
If everything else fails, at least, give Jesus a try, focusing on him is as easy as tying your own shoelaces, and you don't need a trophy to be at a professional level of a sports celebrity where Jesus will notice your expert achievement.;'*';.
Rev 21:2

 

[BFine]

Do they live in Pennsylvania or some other place that requires
parental consent to take a child out of the state or area?
I noticed you used the word stealing when the mom took the
child out of the home...just curious as to why that word would
crop up when the people involved are married and live under
the same roof-- I didn't see mention of a separation agreement etc?

 

[iambren]

To answer your question I agree that the book The Five Love Languages could be helpful if they are open to learn. It's not to "preachy" for the non-saved either.

 

[Shattered-Reflections]

Do they live in Pennsylvania or some other place that requires
parental consent to take a child out of the state or area?
I noticed you used the word stealing when the mom took the
child out of the home...just curious as to why that word would
crop up when the people involved are married and live under
the same roof-- I didn't see mention of a separation agreement etc?

Yes and no. The first time, the wife left the country with their daughter had legal consent to leave but only for a short time. However the child has been out of country illegally for some time. It was only suppose to be a short time but both failed to do the paper work to allow the wife back into the USA (the wife was on Visa). They are still legally married in the US. He flew to Asia to be with his daughter. They ended up moving in together and were working on a Visa to bring her back (which takes awhile). I used the word "steal" because she lied about going to lunch and he trusted her with their daughter (Having been left before ) she left without word of her where abouts and didn't come back. I don't blame her because he has issues, but both sides have been hurtful.

And thank you for the suggestion. I will let my mum know as she now has a kindle.