Marital Sacrifices

[Gentle Lamb]

What were the most difficult sacrifices you ever had to make for your marriage? Do you think your marriage would have survived if you hadn't made those sacrifices? In marriage, when you want to make decisions that are best for both involved, how do you balance your choices to make sure one person isn't being drowned while "being the life vest/life boat" for the other person?

 

[sandman]

What were the most difficult sacrifices you ever had to make for your marriage? Do you think your marriage would have survived if you hadn't made those sacrifices? In marriage, when you want to make decisions that are best for both involved, how do you balance your choices to make sure one person isn't being drowned while "being the life vest/life boat" for the other person?

I think I can answer for most guys …the biggest sacrifice was giving up the thought of being right.

Actually, in my 31 years of marriage I really can’t or don’t think of anything as being a sacrifice.

Our marriage (at least for 30 years) was centered around God and His Word…. It was always the common ground and bond that we agreed on no matter what was going on.
Of course you make concessions for the good of the family and relationship, but I never considered anything a sacrifice.

 

[Gentle Lamb]

Hmm that's interesting. I consider something a sacrifice if you give it up for the good of the relationship.

 

[Aussie Pete]

What were the most difficult sacrifices you ever had to make for your marriage? Do you think your marriage would have survived if you hadn't made those sacrifices? In marriage, when you want to make decisions that are best for both involved, how do you balance your choices to make sure one person isn't being drowned while "being the life vest/life boat" for the other person?

It depends on the couple. I'm by nature a loner and my wife much more a people person. Since we are retired, we spend a lot of time with each other anyway. My wife realises that I need some "nothing" time (thank you, Mark Gungor). I am more sensitive to her needs now, especially as she has some physical weaknesses.

We all need to be sensitive to the leading of the Spirit. Our attitude should be that our spouse is in effect a part of us. What we do to our spouse we are doing to ourselves. We need to consider our spouse in every decision. That does not mean I give the right of veto to my wife. But I include her in every major decision.

 

[Paidiske]

For me, having a child I didn't want, and he did, was by far the biggest sacrifice. Would the marriage have survived if I hadn't? Maybe. But there would have been a wound. To be honest, there still is a wound; but it's a wound I've chosen to bear.

As to your last question, I'm not sure there's a simple formula. In the example I gave, I made it clear that I expected my husband to be an involved and hands-on parent, and to be willing to make career sacrifices, to parent the child he wanted; I wasn't prepared to be the one to take on the bulk of parenting responsibility for the next couple of decades, without support!

 

[Gentle Lamb]

when I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, the Dr said "move out west" to feel better (less humidity)
so for years, I asked husband for us to move out west

unfortunately, he liked his job too much & ignored my pleas to move

so I feel "I sacrificed" feeling better since we never moved & I couldn't convince husband to move

Wow, that sounds tough. May God heal you and bring you comfort in Jesus name .

 

[Gentle Lamb]

It depends on the couple. I'm by nature a loner and my wife much more a people person. Since we are retired, we spend a lot of time with each other anyway. My wife realises that I need some "nothing" time (thank you, Mark Gungor). I am more sensitive to her needs now, especially as she has some physical weaknesses.

We all need to be sensitive to the leading of the Spirit. Our attitude should be that our spouse is in effect a part of us. What we do to our spouse we are doing to ourselves. We need to consider our spouse in every decision. That does not mean I give the right of veto to my wife. But I include her in every major decision.

That's a beautiful way to honor your wife. Praise God for the sensitivity He has given you for her needs!

 

[Gentle Lamb]

For me, having a child I didn't want, and he did, was by far the biggest sacrifice. Would the marriage have survived if I hadn't? Maybe. But there would have been a wound. To be honest, there still is a wound; but it's a wound I've chosen to bear.

As to your last question, I'm not sure there's a simple formula. In the example I gave, I made it clear that I expected my husband to be an involved and hands-on parent, and to be willing to make career sacrifices, to parent the child he wanted; I wasn't prepared to be the one to take on the bulk of parenting responsibility for the next couple of decades, without support!

Yes, the father plays a major and important role in the life of a child, just as the mom does. It's important for him to have been there and not left you with those responsibilities alone. Praise God for the life He has born and nurtured through you both.