Marital Rape

[wndwalkr99]

If a male has been reading porn they have not a clue as to the real joy in being patient, and learning together what real sexual fulfillment for both really is.

I would disagree with this. My husband and I are both occasional porn users. We use it to spice up the
marriage, err, sorry, *legal union*; we use it both together and separately, and there are no hard feelings about it. We talk about what we see and things we'd like to try or why we wouldn't like to try. It's made us both more considerate and imaginitive lovers.

Also, there is no such thing as porn addiction, except in the imaginations of those who are opposed to it.

 

[farout]

I would disagree with this. My husband and I are both occasional porn users. We use it to spice up the
marriage, err, sorry, *legal union*; we use it both together and separately, and there are no hard feelings about it. We talk about what we see and things we'd like to try or why we wouldn't like to try. It's made us both more considerate and imaginitive lovers.

Also, there is no such thing as porn addiction, except in the imaginations of those who are opposed to it.

I was targeting my response for those who have a Christian commitment to each other. That would be a violation of their covenant they have to each other and God.

I am not intending to belittle anyone. I was addressing the issue of being "forced" and rape in marriage.

 

[Soul2Soul]

I just saw a thread post on the forum, and it reminded me of this subject that was in the news a couple months back. In the summer, the story surfaced of Mandy Boardman, who was raped by her husband of seven years, countless times, while she was asleep. If your not familiar with the story, here is an article from Time Magazine.
http://time.com/3976180/marital-rape/
After this story surfaced, it triggered a lot of debate. Many Christians were saying that there is no such thing as marital rape.
Then in October, ( I believe his name is Larry Solomon) wrote a post on his website and it got some attention. Some people thought it was extreme and insane,other people agreed with it 100 %
Here is the article he wrote http://biblicalgenderroles.com/2015...joy-sex-that-is-grudgingly-given-by-his-wife/
^ when you get to the website, scroll down to see the article

-Basically, he says if your wife is having sex with you grudgingly, look at her body and not her face during sex.

From his perspective, he is saying there is no such thing as marital rape, and that the bible states it's a sin to deprive your spouse.


Is it possible to rape your spouse?
Or is rape non-existant in marriage,
1 Corinthians 7:4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.


I am just curious as to what everyone's thoughts are on this subject.

Yes - I believe that it is possible to rape your spouse and no ... I do not believe that rape is non - existent (or non - applicable) in a marriage.

" Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. " Hebrews 13:4

 

[Dave-W]

Yes - I believe that it is possible to rape your spouse and no ... I do not believe that rape is non - existent (or non - applicable) in a marriage.

I agree. But I do understand why it may happen in certain cases.

There is nothing more frustrating that laying down next to someone so beautiful and sexy night after night, month after month, who will not do one thing to meet your sexual needs and will go off on you like Hiroshima if you take care of it yourself.

Now the question is Does she have the right to do that? Absolutely.

Unfortunately, many of us men FORGET we are men and are supposed to be able to take anything in stride.

1 Cor 13.4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

 

[Soul2Soul]

Whilst I (think I) understand what you are suggesting - I am wary of accepting it happening in those circumstances.

 

[farout]

I agree. But I do understand why it may happen in certain cases.

There is nothing more frustrating that laying down next to someone so beautiful and sexy night after night, month after month, who will not do one thing to meet your sexual needs and will go off on you like Hiroshima if you take care of it yourself.

Now the question is Does she have the right to do that? Absolutely.

Unfortunately, many of us men FORGET we are men and are supposed to be able to take anything in stride.

1 Cor 13.4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Dave: Hey in marriage patients is a must! An understanding man deals kindly with pms, and pregnancy, and all kinds of issues that females must endure just because.. But the key is to become a real man who makes sure her needs come first. It's not always possible that both come out with blushing cheeks. The ideal is to build a love making relationship where she loves to be with you. That too is not always possible. The younger you are the more frustration going without sexual closeness brings. It's not often couples can have open dialogue about how sexual tension builds in men, but not bringing this to the surface and dealing with this as a mutual issue will only result in more self pleasuring. I understand this is a very touchy subject.

Often this issue you express brings distance between each other, and anger sets in and then you avoid each other. Perhaps it's time for a re-evaluation of expectations between each other. Few want to involve a counselor, but if it has reached the anger point it just might be time for a counselor.

 

[wndwalkr99]

I agree. But I do understand why it may happen in certain cases.

There is nothing more frustrating that laying down next to someone so beautiful and sexy night after night, month after month, who will not do one thing to meet your sexual needs and will go off on you like Hiroshima if you take care of it yourself.

Now the question is Does she have the right to do that? Absolutely.

Unfortunately, many of us men FORGET we are men and are supposed to be able to take anything in stride.

This sounds like it hits kinda close to home for you....

 

[farout]

Yes - I believe that it is possible to rape your spouse and no ... I do not believe that rape is non - existent (or non - applicable) in a marriage.

" Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. " Hebrews 13:4

Am I reading you right that rape is non-applicable in marriage? Could you mor fully explain what you mean by that?

 

[Soul2Soul]

Am I reading you right that rape is non-applicable in marriage? Could you mor fully explain what you mean by that?

I am not at all suggesting that rape is non - applicable in marriage. In fact in my reply I did state that I do not believe rape is non - existent ..... or non - applicable in a marriage.

 

[farout]

I am not at all suggesting that rape is non - applicable in marriage. In fact in my reply I did state that I do not believe rape is non - existent ..... or non - applicable in a marriage.

Thanks for the clarification.

 

[Soul2Soul]

Thanks for the clarification.

No problems.

 

[Dave-W]

Whilst I (think I) understand what you are suggesting - I am wary of accepting it happening in those circumstances.

I did not say "Acceptable." I said "Understandable." Big difference.

No way is it "Acceptable."

 

[Dave-W]

result in more self pleasuring. I understand this is a very touchy subject.

"Self pleasuring" being a "very touchy subject?"

Its so funny I forgot to laugh.

 

[Dave-W]

This sounds like it hits kinda close to home for you....

It does.

And that gives me VERY LITTLE PATIENCE for those who wimp out and either leave the marriage or force themselves on an unwilling spouse.

Give me 5 minutes with a 2x4 in a back alley with anyone who forces himself on his wife. He will not do it again.

 

[Soul2Soul]

I did not say "Acceptable." I said "Understandable." Big difference.

No way is it "Acceptable."

I was in no way trying to imply that you meant "acceptable" instead of "understandable" in the example you provided. My apologies to you if that's how my reply came across.

I have heard a similar scenario proposed by others and my answer would still be the same ..... that I personally would be wary of accepting it happening in those circumstances. I am referring to those circumstances and not to the person who presents them ..... and offering my own opinion.

Thanks for pointing that out though.

 

[Butterfly99]

The OP kinda makes me lose some faith in humanity.

 

[SoldierOfTheKing]

This is why for nearly all of our history since then, men were allowed to rape their wives. It was literally the law of the land here in the United States too, until the 60's and 70's when the laws were changed. Until then, a wife going to the police with any and all proof of her husband raping her had no case, because "marital rape" was perfectly legal.

The husband could, at least theoretically, be charged with assault.

 

[Dave-W]

The husband could, at least theoretically, be charged with assault.

Theoretically. But in real life that hardly ever happened.

 

[AlexDTX]

I just saw a thread post on the forum, and it reminded me of this subject that was in the news a couple months back. In the summer, the story surfaced of Mandy Boardman, who was raped by her husband of seven years, countless times, while she was asleep. If your not familiar with the story, here is an article from Time Magazine.
http://time.com/3976180/marital-rape/
After this story surfaced, it triggered a lot of debate. Many Christians were saying that there is no such thing as marital rape.
Then in October, ( I believe his name is Larry Solomon) wrote a post on his website and it got some attention. Some people thought it was extreme and insane,other people agreed with it 100 %
Here is the article he wrote http://biblicalgenderroles.com/2015...joy-sex-that-is-grudgingly-given-by-his-wife/
^ when you get to the website, scroll down to see the article

-Basically, he says if your wife is having sex with you grudgingly, look at her body and not her face during sex.

From his perspective, he is saying there is no such thing as marital rape, and that the bible states it's a sin to deprive your spouse.

Is it possible to rape your spouse?
Or is rape non-existant in marriage,
1 Corinthians 7:4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

I am just curious as to what everyone's thoughts are on this subject.

In my personal devotions today I re-read 1 Corinthians chapter 7 when this verse jumped out at me:

1Co 7:4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
1Co 7:5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
1Co 7:6 But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.
1Co 7:7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.​

What struck me about verse 6 is Paul is acknowledging the hardness of their hearts. Jesus told the Pharisees that Moses allowed divorce because of the hardness of their hearts (Matt. 19:8), and we are warned 3 times in the book of Hebrews to be careful that we do not harden our hearts (Heb. 3:8 & 15, 4:7).

Paul recognizes the hardness of heart in the Corinthians and has made this suggestion knowing their lack of self control. He went on in verse 7 wishing that they had the same self control that he has, but realized we are all gifted differently.

If divorce was by permission, but not the perfect will of God (one man, one woman for life), then the bodies belonging to the spouses is also by permission, but not the perfect will of God. Our bodies first belong to Christ not our spouses. We do not mistreat the body of Christ. Earlier in chapter 6 Paul cries out that our bodies are the temple of God and should not be joined to a harlot (6:15-20).

To force sex from your wife, or to steal it while asleep, is to defile the body of Christ, and to despise the Spirit of God.