Marital Rape

[jenniTexan]

Absolutely rape can happen in a marriage. It infuriates me when I see people deny this, one of the rare subjects that does so for me. Any sexual act performed against another person without their informed consent is rape, marriage or not.

 

[michellemariebru]

Sex without consent is always rape. I don't want to read the link because I know it will make me angry, and I would rather enjoy my Friday, but saying "look at her body, not her face" - does that mean if your spouse is crying, you carry on? That is nauseating. Such a man would not be my husband for long. (And this reminds me again how fortunate I am.)

Is this something they do regularly "to" each other, or something out of the blue? Because if they were in the habit of this, and both thought it was okay, that's different. I do find it hard to believe that any man (or woman) would sleep through something like this. They would have to be drugged, drunk or something. If he was drunk and she did that - then yes, I believe that is rape because it was done without his consent. It's no different to a man touching a GF intimately where she is unconscious.

I agree, man or woman it would equate to the same thing. What I don't understand about the whole thing, is why would anyone even want to do anything if the other person wasn't willing. I feel like a person has to be some what sick ( in the head) to be able to enjoy such a thing. There is nothing that makes forcing yourself on someone, an okay thing to do. I can understand it's wrong to deny your spouse of sex, but it doesn't mean that you force yourself on your spouse or do it anyway. It's not humane. There is better route, like counseling. Clearly there are bigger issues involved if a spouse doesn't want to be intimate.

 

[Dave-W]

Clearly there are bigger issues involved if a spouse doesn't want to be intimate.

I recently read a blog about the harm some went thru from the so-called evangelical "purity" culture. It was shocking, eye-opening, and rang too close to home for my comfort.

 

[Cute Tink]

It is my opinion that forcing someone to have sex against their will (including when they are incapable of consent - severely intoxicated or asleep) is rape. I'm not going to limit my definition of rape to what some states may define it.

If you forcing someone to have sex with you under the guise of it being required of them because they married you, then I think very little of you.

 

[Aelred of Rievaulx]

I notice now a days many people are avoid marriage all together. My eldest brother has been married for 10 years, but the other one wants nothing to do with it. He's afraid of divorce.

I avoid it too. Not because divorce is expensive, the only thing I value is my books and my wine collection and I doubt that anyone will want to split that in the middle, I think that marriage really exploits women. Relationships can have various appearances, by and large they can also be quite egalitarian. As soon as a couple gets married though, women tend to accept a highly domestic life. I really despise this as a feminist.

 

[AlexDTX]

I notice now a days many people are avoid marriage all together. My eldest brother has been married for 10 years, but the other one wants nothing to do with it. He's afraid of divorce.

I agree with you. People make other people divorcing an excuse for their reluctance to marry.

 

[AlexDTX]

I avoid it too. Not because divorce is expensive, the only thing I value is my books and my wine collection and I doubt that anyone will want to split that in the middle, I think that marriage really exploits women. Relationships can have various appearances, by and large they can also be quite egalitarian. As soon as a couple gets married though, women tend to accept a highly domestic life. I really despise this as a feminist.

I would qualify your statement in that "men exploit women in marriage" not that marriage as an institution exploits women.
Marriage is under attack because it is the bond of God for unity. God created marriage when He created Adam and Eve. The two become one flesh through marriage and sexual intercourse is a picture of our becoming one with God just as the Godhead is one through this same godly marriage. What I mean is that in the trinity each member of the godhead mutually submits to one another which is why the Lord our God is one (adonai elohenu adonai echad).

But the fallen nature of unregenerate men and the unrenewed mind of regenerate men abuse the institution of marriage. The institution itself is glorious and wonderful if loved and lived as God intends, but miserable and frustrating when one or both couples live selfishly together. Do not fault marriage. Fault the people who abuse it.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

I just saw a thread post on the forum, and it reminded me of this subject that was in the news a couple months back. In the summer, the story surfaced of Mandy Boardman, who was raped by her husband of seven years, countless times, while she was asleep. If your not familiar with the story, here is an article from Time Magazine.
http://time.com/3976180/marital-rape/
After this story surfaced, it triggered a lot of debate. Many Christians were saying that there is no such thing as marital rape.
Then in October, ( I believe his name is Larry Solomon) wrote a post on his website and it got some attention. Some people thought it was extreme and insane,other people agreed with it 100 %
Here is the article he wrote http://biblicalgenderroles.com/2015...joy-sex-that-is-grudgingly-given-by-his-wife/
^ when you get to the website, scroll down to see the article

-Basically, he says if your wife is having sex with you grudgingly, look at her body and not her face during sex.

From his perspective, he is saying there is no such thing as marital rape, and that the bible states it's a sin to deprive your spouse.


Is it possible to rape your spouse?
Or is rape non-existant in marriage,
1 Corinthians 7:4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.


I am just curious as to what everyone's thoughts are on this subject.

Here's my two cents--

Just because each spouse in a marriage has 'rights' over the other, as far as mutual expectations for physical relations go, doesn't mean that EITHER spouse has the right to also mistreat or demean the other spouse.

'Nuff Said
2PhiloVoid

 

[Oafman]

I avoid it too. Not because divorce is expensive, the only thing I value is my books and my wine collection and I doubt that anyone will want to split that in the middle

I would definitely want half of your wine collection!

 

[fm107]

From his perspective, he is saying there is no such thing as marital rape, and that the bible states it's a sin to deprive your spouse.

Is it possible to rape your spouse?
Or is rape non-existant in marriage,
1 Corinthians 7:4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

I am just curious as to what everyone's thoughts are on this subject.

The Bible tells us that a husband and wife are not to deny one another sex - to do so is a sin (a big one, in my opinion). So, rape should never therefore happen in a marriage if we are obedient to that command.

If the wife does deny the husband sex (and therefore is committing sin) that doesn't give the husband right to force himself upon her. This would not be done in the spirit of love - scripture says, "do everything in love" (1 Cor 16:14). After all the husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the Church and gave himself for it. God never forces us to do anything against our will even though he has the right to do so.

We must remember that marriage is a picture of Christ and his Church. The Husband represents Christ (as head) and the wife is representative of the Church.

When two Christians marry, they are essentially hand over the rights of their body to their spouse (1 Cor 7:4). Although the husband has the rights, their is responsibility to exercise those rights in a Godly way. To rape your wife would be returning evil for evil. Two wrongs don't make a right.

That's my current opinion on the subject.

 

[loveofourlord]

Rape by definition involves penetration. So a woman (unless she is using some kind of prosthesis) is incapable of rape. But women can and do force men to have sex with them.

Find another term. The state of Michigan uses "Criminal Sexual Conduct."

Thats just stupid, you don't have to penetrate to rape someone, rubbing against them when they don't want it and such or any sexual act thats not wanted would go under rape, and laws are changing because people realize it's stupid.

Also should point out some states don't count gay rape as rape because it's penetrating a woman, or don't count none vaginal penetration, so we can't exctly go by what some states use as definition.

 

[Sketcher]

Marital rape can happen, but it can be hard to prove.

 

[Sketcher]

Thats just stupid, you don't have to penetrate to rape someone, rubbing against them when they don't want it and such or any sexual act thats not wanted would go under rape, and laws are changing because people realize it's stupid.

By this definition, I was publicly raped by female coworker once. I do not consider what happened to be rape, because no reasonable person could consider it to be rape. Yet it falls under this definition that you gave. What you are describing is more akin to sexual harassment, as it includes the full gamut of unwelcome physical and non-physical advances.

 

[MehGuy]

-Basically, he says if your wife is having sex with you grudgingly, look at her body and not her face during sex.

From his perspective, he is saying there is no such thing as marital rape, and that the bible states it's a sin to deprive your spouse.

Really? How far is he willing to go in this scenario? Restrain her if she get's too physical with the kicking and screaming?

That is pretty disgusting.

 

[joshua 1 9]

I just saw a thread post on the forum, and it reminded me of this subject that was in the news a couple months back. In the summer, the story surfaced of Mandy Boardman, who was raped by her husband of seven years, countless times, while she was asleep. If your not familiar with the story, here is an article from Time Magazine.
http://time.com/3976180/marital-rape/
After this story surfaced, it triggered a lot of debate. Many Christians were saying that there is no such thing as marital rape.
Then in October, ( I believe his name is Larry Solomon) wrote a post on his website and it got some attention. Some people thought it was extreme and insane,other people agreed with it 100 %
Here is the article he wrote http://biblicalgenderroles.com/2015...joy-sex-that-is-grudgingly-given-by-his-wife/
^ when you get to the website, scroll down to see the article

-Basically, he says if your wife is having sex with you grudgingly, look at her body and not her face during sex.

From his perspective, he is saying there is no such thing as marital rape, and that the bible states it's a sin to deprive your spouse.


Is it possible to rape your spouse?
Or is rape non-existant in marriage,
1 Corinthians 7:4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.


I am just curious as to what everyone's thoughts are on this subject.

The problem with the drug-rape claim is the doctors almost never find any trace of any of the known rape drugs. "The big drugs" that came up in a 2009 study sample were street drugs such as marijuana, cocaine, amphetamines and analgesics such as codeine and morphine. If anyone gets drugged it is usually the man and that is so that they can take his money. So according to all the studies it is the women that are drugging the men, not the men drugging the women. The women that thought there were drugged usually had just passed out from drinking or from recreational drugs.

 

[dogs4thewin]

Rape is sex without the other party's consent. Either because they CANNOT give consent such as being asleep or passed out drunk or because they WILL NOT give consent and make it clear they do not want sex ( or that they are withdrawing their consent for the time and do not want it anymore at THAT time. If someone does ANY of these things it is rape and should be treated as such. I do not care if they do not know each other boyfriend/girlfriend, engaged or yes married if a person has sex with someone who either will not or CANNOT consent that is rape no matter the relationship or lack thereof.

 

[Armoured]

The problem with the drug-rape claim is the doctors almost never find any trace of any of the known rape drugs. "The big drugs" that came up in a 2009 study sample were street drugs such as marijuana, cocaine, amphetamines and analgesics such as codeine and morphine. If anyone gets drugged it is usually the man and that is so that they can take his money. So according to all the studies it is the women that are drugging the men, not the men drugging the women. The women that thought there were drugged usually had just passed out from drinking or from recreational drugs.

Just making up your own facts again?

FYI, alcohol is far and away the most common "rape drug".

 

[joshua 1 9]

Just making up your own facts again?

FYI, alcohol is far and away the most common "rape drug".

These are based on emergency room studies.

 

[Armoured]

These are based on emergency room studies.

Cite them.

You know, like the claims about Gilgamesh hanging out with Moses at Gobekli Tepe.

 

[joshua 1 9]

Cite them.

You know, like the claims about Gilgamesh hanging out with Moses at Gobekli Tepe.

The story was about Gilgamesh and Noah, Not Gilgamesh and Moses. Neither one of them had anything to do with Gobekli Tepe. As least you remember some of the key words so you are doing good in that regard.