Marital Poll

[gzt]

1. How long should a guy go out with a girl before asking her to marry him?

2. How long should an engagement last?

3. How much time should elapse between first date and wedding?

Think of these questions as being about several parameters, like minimum recommended wise time, typical time, maximum recommended wise time barring special circumstance, etc.

Just curious, it's theoretical for me since the die is already, as it were, cast.

I was reading Boundless.ord and one of the authors recommended that one should plan for marriage within about a year, which really did seem quite reasonable as an upper bound to plan for, but I thought I would ask your opinions/experiences.

 

[Dent]

Just my opinion...

How long should a guy go out with a girl before asking her to marry him?
- 1 to 2 years.

How long should an engagement last?
- 6 months to a 1 year (I consider this on top of the 1 to 2 year dating period)

How much time should elapse between first date and wedding?
- 1.5 to 3 years

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

1. How long should a guy go out with a girl before asking her to marry him?

2. How long should an engagement last?

3. How much time should elapse between first date and wedding?

Think of these questions as being about several parameters, like minimum recommended wise time, typical time, maximum recommended wise time barring special circumstance, etc.

Just curious, it's theoretical for me since the die is already, as it were, cast.

I was reading Boundless.ord and one of the authors recommended that one should plan for marriage within about a year, which really did seem quite reasonable as an upper bound to plan for, but I thought I would ask your opinions/experiences.

1.) IMO a guy should have known a girl AT LEAST 6 months before asking. Also, if they have been dating for over 3 years and he hasn't asked, I find that to be troublesome, unless they are young and in school or something.
2.) I think this depends on the couple's situation.
3.) Again this depends on the couple's situation.

In my own relationship, Kirk has known me since late 2006 or early 2007, dated me since mid-2008, asked me to marry him in Spring 2009, and we're getting married in Spring 2010. So, we had a year to plan the wedding (which I am particularly thankful for).

But I know some people who've planned their weddings in like a month.

So it all depends on the couple.

 

[NiobiumTragedy]

Exactly, these questions are all irrelevant because each person(s) is different. So there is no right or wrong answer, only a specific answer for a specific person depending on where they are in life.

I was married only a few months after meeting my wife, but that worked out for us and I wouldn't recommend doing that with anyone else.

 

[gzt]

Just so you have my views:

1. I think they shouldn't tarry too long. The telos of dating is marriage, so the guy should be actively figuring out whether or not to marry this person. I generally don't think it should take more than 2 years, I think 1 is a fairly prudent goal, and anything less than 6 months is fairly short. I'm engaged, we were dating for a little over 2 months, but we had been severely flirting for 2 months before that and known each other for 2 months before that.
2. I think long engagements aren't prudent in general. 6 months to a year seems like a reasonable expectation. We have a five month engagement.
3. Between .5 and 1.5 years seems like a good target, 2-2.5 yrs seems like a reasonable upper bound to shoot for. My fiancee and I would have been dating 7 months and known each other about 1 yr.

My question comes from curiosity, and I realize everybody's situation is different, so you can't have a prescription for everything. But I also realize that your situation is also a matter of the choices you make and perhaps we ought to make certain choices.

 

[Manda_24]

1. I think it's best to wait at least 6 months, I'd lean more towards a year. I think it depends on the ages of the couple as well. I would not want to wait much more than a year dating someone for them to as me to marry them. My old roommate waited almost 4 years and was getting very impatient, they had reason to wait because of school and where they worked but it was still hard.

2. I think engagement should be about a year or a less, just long enough for the wedding to get planned.

3. Maybe about two years, since I said about a year to get engaged then about a year to be engaged that give two years or a little less.

I agree with everyone who has said that it depends on the couple.

 

[Still Looking]

1. How long should a guy go out with a girl before asking her to marry him?

I've always said 5 years is a good number. But I started going out with mine when I was nearly 17. It's different if you meet them at 25 or something I suppose. My parents went out for 7 years in their 20s before they were married.

2. How long should an engagement last?

Haven't given this one that much thought... Really only as long as you need to get the wedding underway, I would say. 6months to a year. Drawn out engagements look dubious to me. It makes you wonder. The only reason you're engaged is because you're going to get married after all.

3. How much time should elapse between first date and wedding?

Several years. I think it's important to know your significant other really really well before you marry them. Preferably, it should almost feel like you've grown up with them. 3 to.. i dunno, 7. It depends on the couple.

 

[Melethiel]

As for how long dating should last, I think a minimum of 1.5 - 2 years, but the upper limit may vary depending on the situation. Like in my case - my boyfriend and I go to schools in different states, so it will be at least 4 years before we could feasibly marry.

 

[98cwitr]

1. How long should a guy go out with a girl before asking her to marry him?

2. How long should an engagement last?

3. How much time should elapse between first date and wedding?

Think of these questions as being about several parameters, like minimum recommended wise time, typical time, maximum recommended wise time barring special circumstance, etc.

Just curious, it's theoretical for me since the die is already, as it were, cast.

I was reading Boundless.ord and one of the authors recommended that one should plan for marriage within about a year, which really did seem quite reasonable as an upper bound to plan for, but I thought I would ask your opinions/experiences.

1. At least 3 years, and only if the relationship is deemed strong by the both of you

2. At least a year as long as things have progressed positively

3. I don't understand the question because it seems repetitive.

 

[Boss_BlueAngels]

1, 2, and 3. As long as the couple needs.

There is no time limit here, people always get in such a hurry. I've been with my girlfriend for going on 7 years now. Everyone gets all up in a bunch when I say that, but her and I know we're both "the one" and will do things in our own time.

My brother, on the other hand, was engaged only a couple of months after meeting his wife for the first time and the wedding was within a year as well. 14 years later they have three beautiful kids and a wonderful relationship. So, it all depends on the couple.

1. How long should a guy go out with a girl before asking her to marry him?

2. How long should an engagement last?

3. How much time should elapse between first date and wedding?

Think of these questions as being about several parameters, like minimum recommended wise time, typical time, maximum recommended wise time barring special circumstance, etc.

Just curious, it's theoretical for me since the die is already, as it were, cast.

I was reading Boundless.ord and one of the authors recommended that one should plan for marriage within about a year, which really did seem quite reasonable as an upper bound to plan for, but I thought I would ask your opinions/experiences.

 

[HisLittleHazelnut]

Heh I probably did things very backwards but I am actually glad he did not wait to ask me to marry him.

God knew we needed a short dating period (three weeks before he asked me to marry him, I knew him a day before that). We've been together five years now, but the only reason we haven't married yet is because we had a MAJOR setback in our planning... meaning, he became seriously ill and nearly died, and it took him three years to recover to the point where he could return to school.

We're thinking it will be 6 months to a year more before we marry.

Honestly, I am glad he asked me when he did. If we had not been engaged when he got ill, I might not have had the gumption to stick by him. And I cannot imagine my life without him.

 

[California Dreamin']

Our Timeline

We got engaged after 3 months.

We will be engaged for just under 2 years. We got engaged July 26, 2008 and planned to marry 14 months later on September 26, 2009. Due to some unforeseen financial problems (dislocated hip and shattered pelvis), the wedding will be pushed back now to April 24, 2010.

The wedding is 2 years, 2 days after we met.

 

[Margim]

Will be different for everyone.

My wife and I got engaged after nine weeks of 'going out', married around 8 months after that. It was right for us, but we are both mid-twenties, have similar goals and interests, and want to accomplish similar things in life.