Mania

[alice_psy]

Hi Everybody,



I am new here and I?m already asking for your help. I?m a psychology student and I?m about to start my final year project on bipolar disorder. The results of my piece of research may improve the understanding of bipolar condition and improve therapy techniques. The ultimate aim of course is to reduce human suffering..



I have personal reasons to be interested in this because my boyfriend is bipolar and I do know what it can be like and we have been through some really rough times together but we?re still going? Anyway, I am specialising in clinical psychology and the question I?m trying to answer is this: why do people with bipolar disorder engage in risk taking, e.g. going on shopping sprees, engaging in casual sex, taking recreational drugs/excessive drinking, driving too fast, etc.? It might seem like a simple question but I have racked my brain thinking about it. That?s why I am asking for your help, guys. I need your ideas. Detailed accounts of how you felt before and during manic episode(s) involving dangerous/risky activities would be greatly appreciated. Basically, anything you can come up with will be a great help.



Thank you.

Alice

 

[Shalia]

Disclaimer: All of this is my own experiences only. And actually tends toward the lower end of manic high end of hypomanic. High end of manic ends up with me in the hospital hallucinating, forget shopping and driving. But here goes.

Oh, boy. Why? Cause I'm the queen of the world!! Remember how you felt as a teenager? When you were indestructable, and the rest of the universe was an idiot, and nothing bad would ever happen to you? Yeah. When I'm manic, I'm pretty much a teenager in a lot of ways.

I get back to my old sexy self. I have an inflated self-esteem where I just think I'm amazing. Everyone else thinks I'm amazing too, cause I do, so why shouldn't they? And they'd better. Or I lose my temper and scream and yell and get really angry with them, as well as sarcastic and plain mean. They'd just be plain stupid if they couldn't see how sexy and smart and amazing and impressive and... yeah, you get the point.

Risky behaviors... OK, when manic, the world is moving along at warp speed. I end up speeding because honestly, I don't even notice it. 90mph feels SLOW. I wonder why I can't go faster and why all the idiots on the road just WON'T MOVE. Impulse control is a thing of the past. Again, the world is at warp speed, and all that matters is RIGHT NOW. I don't think about yesterday, I don't think about tomorrow, I think about RIGHT NOW. That's how I get in trouble w/ money. You go in somewhere and buy things you don't need because you don't think about what you needed that money for next week, you think about what you want in the store right now. No impulse control.

Same with casual sex. Same w/ rec. drugs <although I've never done them.> It's back to that teenage attitude <nothing will ever hurt me, I'm better than that, heck, I'm on top of the universe> and lack of impulse control. If it sounds like fun right now, I'm probably going to do it. I have little sense of remorse when manic, because I truly think I'm better than anyone else anyways. Their feelings matter less than mine.

I bounce all over from one thing to another because I have the attention span of a gnat on speed. Part of the reason shopping can be such a danger. Rather than going in for one thing <I need a pair of pants> like someone can do when normal, you end up with 3/4 of the store because your attention span has you all over the store and you frankly can't remember what you went in for by the time you are done. <Oh, and you don't care about tomorrow anyways, and you deserve the money.>

My temper and irritability can be HORRIBLE. I can be set off by practically NOTHING. I throw things, I scream at things, I cry at the drop of a hat, high pitched noises make me ready to throw whatever it is making the noise, I have NO patience. I want it and I want it NOW. I can throw honest-to-goodness temper tantrums. Just like a petulant two year old. Stomping feet, throwing things and bursting into tears and everything if I don't get my way. I'll get myself into a screaming hysteria that is nearly impossible to get out of. Scares even me. My poor husband.

I have sensory issues. Lights are too bright, sound is too loud, taste is too much, smells are too smelly, etc. And then comes the confusion if the sounds and the tastes and the smells are real. <sigh> But that's not what you asked about.

Did this help at all?

Shalia

 

[jeffswife]

Disclaimer: All of this is my own experiences only. And actually tends toward the lower end of manic high end of hypomanic. High end of manic ends up with me in the hospital hallucinating, forget shopping and driving. But here goes.

Oh, boy. Why? Cause I'm the queen of the world!! Remember how you felt as a teenager? When you were indestructable, and the rest of the universe was an idiot, and nothing bad would ever happen to you? Yeah. When I'm manic, I'm pretty much a teenager in a lot of ways.

I get back to my old sexy self. I have an inflated self-esteem where I just think I'm amazing. Everyone else thinks I'm amazing too, cause I do, so why shouldn't they? And they'd better. Or I lose my temper and scream and yell and get really angry with them, as well as sarcastic and plain mean. They'd just be plain stupid if they couldn't see how sexy and smart and amazing and impressive and... yeah, you get the point.

Risky behaviors... OK, when manic, the world is moving along at warp speed. I end up speeding because honestly, I don't even notice it. 90mph feels SLOW. I wonder why I can't go faster and why all the idiots on the road just WON'T MOVE. Impulse control is a thing of the past. Again, the world is at warp speed, and all that matters is RIGHT NOW. I don't think about yesterday, I don't think about tomorrow, I think about RIGHT NOW. That's how I get in trouble w/ money. You go in somewhere and buy things you don't need because you don't think about what you needed that money for next week, you think about what you want in the store right now. No impulse control.

Same with casual sex. Same w/ rec. drugs <although I've never done them.> It's back to that teenage attitude <nothing will ever hurt me, I'm better than that, heck, I'm on top of the universe> and lack of impulse control. If it sounds like fun right now, I'm probably going to do it. I have little sense of remorse when manic, because I truly think I'm better than anyone else anyways. Their feelings matter less than mine.

I bounce all over from one thing to another because I have the attention span of a gnat on speed. Part of the reason shopping can be such a danger. Rather than going in for one thing <I need a pair of pants> like someone can do when normal, you end up with 3/4 of the store because your attention span has you all over the store and you frankly can't remember what you went in for by the time you are done. <Oh, and you don't care about tomorrow anyways, and you deserve the money.>

My temper and irritability can be HORRIBLE. I can be set off by practically NOTHING. I throw things, I scream at things, I cry at the drop of a hat, high pitched noises make me ready to throw whatever it is making the noise, I have NO patience. I want it and I want it NOW. I can throw honest-to-goodness temper tantrums. Just like a petulant two year old. Stomping feet, throwing things and bursting into tears and everything if I don't get my way. I'll get myself into a screaming hysteria that is nearly impossible to get out of. Scares even me. My poor husband.

I have sensory issues. Lights are too bright, sound is too loud, taste is too much, smells are too smelly, etc. And then comes the confusion if the sounds and the tastes and the smells are real. <sigh> But that's not what you asked about.

Did this help at all?

Shalia

As a fellow bipolar I endorse all those things you just said.

 

[Laurel Crowned]

Shalia!

That monologue was JUST BRILLANT!. Manic Monologue #1. Pointing out the reality of bipolar while still maintaining a sense of humour is what gets you through. It was hard not to read you post without a smile on my face because I've been there and bought it without thinking. With the exception of the drugs every thing you wrote about describes my life before medication. The meds have made such a huge difference.

LC

 

[Laurel Crowned]

Hi Everybody,



I am new here and I?m already asking for your help. I?m a psychology student and I?m about to start my final year project on bipolar disorder. The results of my piece of research may improve the understanding of bipolar condition and improve therapy techniques. The ultimate aim of course is to reduce human suffering..



I have personal reasons to be interested in this because my boyfriend is bipolar and I do know what it can be like and we have been through some really rough times together but we?re still going? Anyway, I am specialising in clinical psychology and the question I?m trying to answer is this: why do people with bipolar disorder engage in risk taking, e.g. going on shopping sprees, engaging in casual sex, taking recreational drugs/excessive drinking, driving too fast, etc.? It might seem like a simple question but I have racked my brain thinking about it. That?s why I am asking for your help, guys. I need your ideas. Detailed accounts of how you felt before and during manic episode(s) involving dangerous/risky activities would be greatly appreciated. Basically, anything you can come up with will be a great help.



Thank you.

Alice

Hi Alice,

I was at my most manic in college. The compulsive spending for me... was an attempt to stay on center stage. I had to have the cutest close... take everybody out to dinner or brunch... and just give the illusion of having my act together. I'd gotten my first credit card and it was just a matter of signing on the line. It's so easy to be manic with a credit card. The bills would only fuel the depressed episodes that I'd find myself in.

The promiscuous behavior? I needed to believe that I was the most desirable woman there was instead of the insecure, scared girl I was when I was depressed. I LIKED the mania. I wasn't the life of the party (I hated parties)... but I sure could create my own entourage. People liked to be around me when I was up. I amused them. I made them laugh. They would all hang out in my dorm room. I never hung out in anybody's room. I never felt safe enough to cross the thresh-hold. Everybody thought that was strange. It seemed perfectly normal to me.

My highs were high... and I enjoyed them. The frat parties where we danced all night. The sorority formals where I got to dress up like a glittering butterfly. The clothes, the hair, the nails... all the things that I bought and didn't really have the cash to pay for. My solo trip to Europe... all these things were bought at a price that I was too manic to count.

I'm not manic these days... and my life is a lot less fun, but I don't run the risk of running up bills I can't pay or sleeping with guys without faces.

Hope this helps your research.

Peace,
LC

 

[Shalia]

Hi Alice,

I was at my most manic in college. The compulsive spending for me... was an attempt to stay on center stage. I had to have the cutest close... take everybody out to dinner or brunch... and just give the illusion of having my act together. I'd gotten my first credit card and it was just a matter of signing on the line. It's so easy to be manic with a credit card. The bills would only fuel the depressed episodes that I'd find myself in.

The promiscuous behavior? I needed to believe that I was the most desirable woman there was instead of the insecure, scared girl I was when I was depressed. I LIKED the mania. I wasn't the life of the party (I hated parties)... but I sure could create my own entourage. People liked to be around me when I was up. I amused them. I made them laugh. They would all hang out in my dorm room. I never hung out in anybody's room. I never felt safe enough to cross the thresh-hold. Everybody thought that was strange. It seemed perfectly normal to me.

My highs were high... and I enjoyed them. The frat parties where we danced all night. The sorority formals where I got to dress up like a glittering butterfly. The clothes, the hair, the nails... all the things that I bought and didn't really have the cash to pay for. My solo trip to Europe... all these things were bought at a price that I was too manic to count.

I'm not manic these days... and my life is a lot less fun, but I don't run the risk of running up bills I can't pay or sleeping with guys without faces.

Hope this helps your research.

Peace,
LC

I think that's an important thing to note... I think a lot of times we're compensating in our high points for how low and insecure we normally feel in our lows. Or at least I do. It's GREAT to finally find people who like me, and when I get to that point, when people like me, I start taking it too far. *sigh*

Yeah, my first credit card was a huge mistake. So was my second, and my third, and my fourth, and my fifth, and... ugh.

Yeah, and I have guys w/o faces. Didn't sleep with them all, some I just made out with, but it's really sad that I can't remember them. I split with my husband because I was manic and I wanted to sleep around. *sigh* And this was already after having three affairs. *double sigh*

Shalia

 

[California Dreamin']

I have the shopping sprees, I used to have a lot of money saved up but now it is all gone. I am normally quite wise with my money but just one day I was at the mall and picked up everything I liked and BOUGHT it. I don't know what came over me but it was just one of my "moods"...

 

[zyklzy]

The beauty of being manic is that you forget most of what you said or did (phwee!). After 2 years of depression (such is life when one chooses to be medication compliant), reading Shalia's post brought it all back to me. The neighbours would always know when I was manic - the heavy metal would be blaring across the neighbourhood 24 hours a day, cops coming to the door, impossible to live with, insane arguements with my long-suffering wife, uncontrolled pot-smoking, swearing etc and kidding myself i'm still a Christian. As such, I take my meds now - religiously!

 

[jenelis]

I'm not bipolar, but my ex-husband is.

I can't believe how much of these behaviors describe him!

We divorced because he couldn't keep it in his pants, he charged up the cards that I was working SO hard to pay towards and he drank more beer than anyone I had ever seen. He lives on a manic and occasionally dives into depressive. Oh, and he thinks he's a prophet and talks to Jesus Christ. <-- that freaked me out.

One night he was going crazy and we were fighting about something and he threatened to kill me and the baby. Next morning he didn't know he'd done any of that at all. He broke into tears crying when I told him and accused me of making it up.

Is this part of bipolar or is more going on here than that? Even though this was years ago, I'd like to know since I suspect my 6-year-old as a bipolar.

 

[zyklzy]

It's very hard to keep a marriage together when your Bipolar. Fortunately we're still together (i'm well medicated now). Unfortunatley my family blame her for driving me "crazy" and her family think she's crazy to still be with me. As you can imagine, Christmas is not an easy time. What people who aren't Bipolar (or have a close family member whose bipolar) don't seem to understand is the devastation this illness (yes I believe it to be an illness as well as a "thorn in the flesh") causes.

 

[Dark-eternal]

Everyone (besides suicidals)has an urge to live, the people with bi-polar also want to engage into the activities that life has to offer them ,so because their mental state of being positive only has a short span of existance, everything is rushed to be done within that period of time.

 

[LostnFound]

I'm not bipolar, but my ex-husband is.

I can't believe how much of these behaviors describe him!

We divorced because he couldn't keep it in his pants, he charged up the cards that I was working SO hard to pay towards and he drank more beer than anyone I had ever seen. He lives on a manic and occasionally dives into depressive. Oh, and he thinks he's a prophet and talks to Jesus Christ. <-- that freaked me out.

One night he was going crazy and we were fighting about something and he threatened to kill me and the baby. Next morning he didn't know he'd done any of that at all. He broke into tears crying when I told him and accused me of making it up.

Is this part of bipolar or is more going on here than that? Even though this was years ago, I'd like to know since I suspect my 6-year-old as a bipolar.

Jenelis, It sounds to me like Bipolar one. My oldest son is BP I and my second son and I are BP II. My oldest has manic rages that he doesn't even remember (I should say HAD). He has threatened me at knife point, sat on our roof in the rain, threatening to jump, and told our Pdoc that he hears voices. As a result, in addition to the mood stabilizer that we are all on, he takes Risperdal at a very minimal dose, to control the rages and psychosis.

 

[† Rajen †]

Hi everyone, i haven't posted on here in a while but my girlfriend linked me to this thread. I care about my girlfriend very much and that's why i wanted to post here. My girlfriend is bipolar and reading what other people have said has really helped a lot. I want to be there also to support my girlfriend in any way that i can. she's truly someone amazing. God just works in mysterious ways. I just want to thank all of you for talking about yourself or your experiences because it has helped me considerably.

Sincerely,
Rajen

 

[Laurel Crowned]

Hi everyone, i haven't posted on here in a while but my girlfriend linked me to this thread. I care about my girlfriend very much and that's why i wanted to post here. My girlfriend is bipolar and reading what other people have said has really helped a lot. I want to be there also to support my girlfriend in any way that i can. she's truly someone amazing. God just works in mysterious ways. I just want to thank all of you for talking about yourself or your experiences because it has helped me considerably.

Sincerely,
Rajen

Rajen, your gf is blessed to have someone in her life who cares enough to do more than merely "try" to understand. The "homework" you do now will make a major difference in the quality of your relationship. It has been with the friends who have cared enough to go that extra mile to find out about my disorder, that I enjoy the most genuine fellowship.

 

[soyness]

but are the actions of mania noticeable.
I'm so confused. I went to 2-3 psychiatrists, they told me different things:
Bipolar, Dhysthmia, and PTSD

There are itmes when I just FEEL like i'm on the top of hte world, but it's not noticeable to others. I'm so confused.

 

[Shalia]

but are the actions of mania noticeable.
I'm so confused. I went to 2-3 psychiatrists, they told me different things:
Bipolar, Dhysthmia, and PTSD

There are itmes when I just FEEL like i'm on the top of hte world, but it's not noticeable to others. I'm so confused.

I'd say "it depends". The definition of mania includes that it causes significant impairment in your work or social life. If you aren't having problems with your social or work life at your "up" times, you might have "hypomania" instead, which is pretty much "mania-lite". I think a good number of bipolars would like to spend life at hypomania, I know I would.

You could also look up cyclothymia and see if that matches you. It's basically bipolar lite, but cycles more often so life stinks.

something helps you!

 

[soyness]

thanks

 

[iconmaster]

One of the things that surprised me about experiencing mania was the sheer vividness of life. I found that my senses would become acutely tuned to every color, texture, smell and sound -- as if a veil had been pulled off the world. I wonder if that's a taste of heaven?

When I'm manic (or hypomanic -- I don't really make a careful distinction), everything feels wonderful. I become very sensual, craving rich foods and illicit sex. I become extremely flirtatious with women (and they seem to respond favorably). I haven't yet landed myself in any affairs, but my hypersexuality has gotten me in serious trouble with one friend. (I can definitely say that my bipolarity has impaired my relational life.)

When I'm manic, I feel like I don't need anyone else -- even God. I feel completely capable and self-sufficient... I'm awesome! I can do anything... I can become highly productive and intensely focused on a project; sometimes at the expense of other things I should be working on. I become wordy, highly whimsical in my speech and trains of thought, much more witty and mentally quick.... and possibly irritable. My temper can become volatile.

Generally, mania is everything it's cracked up to be , but it can be costly.

 

[Ann Doupont]

Hello Alice,

If I can be of any help to you, please let me know. I'll start with briefly sharing my testimony (a little of it). In 1978, I was diagnosed as having bipolar. That was after either my first or second breakdown requiring hospitalization for mental illness. Bipolar is of course both physical (chemical imbalance on the brain, part of the body) and psychological.

About 1 1/2 years later, I came to Jesus. It still took another 3 years to get fully freed from medication (I was on 2400 mg of lithium at the time). It was a very intense interactive process on my part. I quoted many verses on healing, and took megadoses of vitamins.

Regarding why a person having a manic episode will treat themselves with drugs and alcohol, as I did and some others also do is to attempt to control the moodswings with uppers (if getting too low) or downers (if getting too high). An excellent resource on this is Dr. Fieve's book, "Moodswing," which I read and still have on my book shelf. He speaks in that book of this dilemma, of self-treatment.

If you would like to contact me, please PM me. Or, you could simply respond publicly on this forum. However, I don't come here that often any more, as the Lord seems to be taking me another direction in this season.

For any specific questions regarding bipolar, although I don't claim to be an expert, I do claim to have been freed from it. I was first diagnosed to be bipolar through the MMPI (Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory), and it was also through that same test, I was found to no longer have the ailment.

There was much prayer involved in my being healed. This was necessary for me in order to first of all get free, and secondly, to stay free.

I am now an intercessor and have just published my first book (last November).

God bless you.

With love,

Ann