Man am I depressed...

[ImaginaryVoyager]

Well, I don't know where most of you people are reading, but here on the marriage forums most people are bragging about how wonderful their sex lives are. Many claim to have sex several times a month, or even more. The rabbits in my garden are getting jealous......

 

[gracefaith]

Sex really isn't that important. Maybe it is the years of battling infertility, but for my husband and I we love on each other so much during the day that at night time there is only one reason for sex, the ending, and it just isn't that important. When we do have it, it is great. But it just isn't a priority, we have a great marriage so why would it be depressing that we just don't think sex is that important?

These sorts of posts drive me crazy. Sorry to hear you feel that way.

Meh, I don't see what the big deal is. If it's not important to them, it's not important to them. I'm not sure what 'important' means to other people anyway. Do I enjoy making love to my husband? Yes. Would I miss it if we didn't? Yes. Do I think my marriage (and the rest of the universe) should revolve around it? Not so much.

To me sex is just a regular, natural part of life. I still think people make way too big a deal about it, but then again, I'm one of the satisfied ones. If I wasn't satisfied, I might feel differently.

 

[AutumnDreamer]

Meh, I don't see what the big deal is. If it's not important to them, it's not important to them. I'm not sure what 'important' means to other people anyway. Do I enjoy making love to my husband? Yes. Would I miss it if we didn't? Yes. Do I think my marriage (and the rest of the universe) should revolve around it? Not so much.

To me sex is just a regular, natural part of life. I still think people make way too big a deal about it, but then again, I'm one of the satisfied ones. If I wasn't satisfied, I might feel differently.

I am thinking people are misunderstanding my post to mean we don't ever have sex, which is far from accurate. It just isn't a priority, we get much closer to each other by doing things together then from having sex, that is so much more important to both of us.

 

[gracefaith]

I am thinking people are misunderstanding my post to mean we don't ever have sex, which is far from accurate. It just isn't a priority, we get much closer to each other by doing things together then from having sex, that is so much more important to both of us.

Yeah, I agree with you.

 

[mlukas]

I agree that we live in a flawed world and as Christians we are also screwed up.
That's just a given...
I guess my point in starting the thread is this: Not to be voyeuristic but to see if there was any hope out there. People do come to these forums for help, which is awesome. I just think there's needs to be a lot more threads of hope that can maybe offer people that glimmer of light.
Of course, that is mainly shown in the thread responses to that statement is probably a moot point.
But I digress...
I guess my problem is that, in general, the church at large SELLS marriage as a sexual wonderland of infinite pleasure. As if the ring is suppose to magically give both people a matching libido.
I know this is not the case a lot of times. I guess I just wish the church would be HONEST about it all, and not cover it up under a smiling facade of bliss. Sex is important in a marriage and I believe it should be discussed AT LENGTH before marriage so each one knows what they are getting into.
Ok, I'll get off my soapbox now
My hope is that people read this thread and know that there are actually sane people out there with a great marriage that INCLUDES a fulfilling sex life for both the wife and husband.
Again, it just got a bit depressing seeing all the angst...

 

[heartnsoul]

I am thinking people are misunderstanding my post to mean we don't ever have sex, which is far from accurate. It just isn't a priority, we get much closer to each other by doing things together then from having sex, that is so much more important to both of us.

I agree with you too. I think sex is important but it's not the big picture in a marriage. The big picture is the actual relationship "outside" of the bedroom.

Mlukas, instead of feeling "depressed" about others, why not pray for others and ask God to bless all of us with a passionate sex life? Prayer and compassion is the answer.

 

[mlukas]

I agree with you too. I think sex is important but it's not the big picture in a marriage. The big picture is the actual relationship "outside" of the bedroom.

Mlukas, instead of feeling "depressed" about others, why not pray for others and ask God to bless all of us with a passionate sex life? Prayer and compassion is the answer.

I do that too
And I agree, the big picture isn't really the sex, it's everything in the relationship. Believe me, I'm not some sex crazed, one track mind sociopath. My fondest memory, so far, of my wife and I today is playing "keep away" with our dog and her chewed up tennis ball.
That bloody german shepard can jump HIGH!!!

 

[ImaginaryVoyager]

Yes, I guess it would be refreshing if you didn't see so many people in this forum always talking about how great their sex lives are, but I guess that's what they want to talk about. To some people that's the most important part about marriage. However they should be sensitive to the fact that there are a very few people who don't have the same experience.

 

[icbeckyc]

Well I know in the Womens Topics seems like lots of women are happy anyways. I wouldn't say my marriage is focused on sex, but I will have to say that sex in my marriage is wonderful. There have been ups and downs in sex and in the marriage. Things change. When my children were very little there were times I was just way to tired. Now that my children are older and going from one activity to another there are times we are both way too tired. But for the most part it is very healthy. Healthy for us, maybe not for someone else.