Making friends...

[dluvs2trvl]

Do you have a hard time making friends at this stage in your life? Especially, friends of the same gender...

I have lots of good girl friends but most of them are married and 2 of my closest friends that are single are both over the age of 50 and are sisters who share a house...so they don't really ever have to deal with loneliness because they have each other. I miss having a good girl friend that I could call at the last minute and say hey let's go grab some dinner or let's go to a movie...I used to have that kind of a friend but she got married about 5 years ago and our relationship just has never been the same since...which I totally understand! Her priority is her husband and her stepdaughters...I just miss my friend.

I feel like I'm in the middle age group at my church...the single women are all 10 to 15 years younger than me or 10 years older, divorced and with kids...which is all fine it's just that I don't know where I fit any more...

What are your thoughts? Men is it the same for you? Do you have a hard time meeting guys to hang out with?

 

[ido]

I have a hard time finding women to befriend since I've moved. I've always gravitated towards women that are 5+ years older than me, but I did have one group of acquaintances back home that were all about the same age as I am.

I have finally started hanging out with my neighbor - she's 40, divorced, no kids. We have lived next door to each other since January and we just started really talking to each other about a month ago.

I haven't been consistent enough at church yet to know if there are any women there I will be able to relate to - but so far I haven't seen anyone my age or that is in my situation. I'm hoping to meet a few more people once I start my DivorceCare group in August.

It's been extremely frustrating for me b/c I'm extremely social and I feel kind of isolated. But, I go and do things on my own that I would normally do with a friend. It's not as much fun but it beats sitting at home and doing nothing.

 

[dluvs2trvl]

It's been extremely frustrating for me b/c I'm extremely social and I feel kind of isolated. But, I go and do things on my own that I would normally do with a friend. It's not as much fun but it beats sitting at home and doing nothing.

That's exactly how I feel!!!! I'm a very social person but I'm tired of doing things by myself...

It's just a frustrating stage in my life...

 

[Auncy]

I also have a hard time finding friends my age. The friends that I did have in my 20's and 30's got married and I lost touch with them.
My church has a singles group but it is for young adults. There isn't anything for my age group. The friends that I do go out with every now and then are from work. So, I really don't have any women christian friends.
I also miss it when friends would call and say do you want to go to the movies or go to lunch etc.

 

[ido]

Lo and behold - I got a call tonight from a friend of mine back home. She and her hubby closed on a house that's only an hour away from me. She actually lives in the area where my ex and I exchange the kids every other weekend, so there is a good possibility that I will see her more often.

BTW - she's my ex-husband's ex-sister-in-law...how's that for funny!

 

[Auncy]

Lo and behold - I got a call tonight from a friend of mine back home. She and her hubby closed on a house that's only an hour away from me. She actually lives in the area where my ex and I exchange the kids every other weekend, so there is a good possibility that I will see her more often.

BTW - she's my ex-husband's ex-sister-in-law...how's that for funny!

That is funny and also great that you have a friend nearby that you will get to see.

 

[dluvs2trvl]

That's great flnativegrl!!!

 

[ido]

OK - I put on my big girl panties and introduced myself to a few people at church this morning instead of being shy. LOL One girl I met has a son that is one week older than my younger son. Could it be the beginning of a friendship? I'll keep you posted...

 

[dluvs2trvl]

That's great! Did you make any playdate plans for your kids?

 

[ido]

Not yet. I was just happy to know a name to a friendly face. She was sitting in front of me in the service (with her son/hubby) and we both ended up in the cry room with our rowdy kids. lol

 

[ladyjay787]

OK - I put on my big girl panties and introduced myself to a few people at church this morning instead of being shy. LOL One girl I met has a son that is one week older than my younger son. Could it be the beginning of a friendship? I'll keep you posted...

Oh, that's what I need --- big girl panties! I have a hard time making friends because of shyness. I have lived in this new town for a year and a half and still have no friends. It seems like people already have enough (friends) and aren't interested enough to make more. Makes me want to move back to the area where my friends are!

 

[Auncy]

You can never have too many friends. Where in Pa are you from Ladyjay?

 

[ido]

Oh, that's what I need --- big girl panties! I have a hard time making friends because of shyness. I have lived in this new town for a year and a half and still have no friends. It seems like people already have enough (friends) and aren't interested enough to make more. Makes me want to move back to the area where my friends are!

Keep the faith! I've lived here since March of last year and I'm just now finding someone that I want to hang out with regularly. It takes time and patience with yourself...and, of course, the big girl panties.

 

[ladyjay787]

You can never have too many friends. Where in Pa are you from Ladyjay?

Central PA. Mifflin Co.

 

[LongLegs]

Do you have a hard time making friends at this stage in your life? Especially, friends of the same gender...

What are your thoughts?

Hmmmm .....

I don't have any shortage of friends .... women or men.

Maybe you need to go to different places or learn something new (new hobby or something) .......

Kathy

 

[shamrockmoon]

I too have the same problem. I have a group of girlfriends that we have been friends for many years. But the last of them is getting married soon. I am the only single one left. I love being single. I really don't forsee me getting married or dating anytime soon. SO it is very difficult for me get out. I live in a very small community so I pretty much know everyone. The few girls that I do hang out with from time to time, are more out looking for a man...so going out is more like a hunting expedition than going out with girlfriends. I just stay home & try to make new online friends.

 

[dayhiker]

I've been single now for less than a year. Since I was young I've got over the shyness thing and enjoy getting out and meeting people now.
I'd say I've been 200 people or more in the last 9 months from several differant groups.

The web is a great way to find people to meet. For finding freinds I'd recommend meetup.com and meetin.org. The have many interests groups from movies and dining to travel and hobies of all types. I join walking and hiking groups and often get to meet 3 to 5 new people when I'm out walking with the group. We walk around town and on the local forest preserves. Then talking afterwards over some good food.

You don't just need to hang out on dating sites.
Tho for dating I recommend .. plentyoffish.com
Its free, so many have told me the sites with fees are a waist of time. I joined true.com ... then changed emails I sent and manipuated emails to make me think ladies were interested in me for 50 bucks a month ... very deceptive in my mind.

dayhiker

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

My best friend lives in Washington state,I'm in Arizona. My other best friend is about 2 1/2 hours away. All my other close friends (including my 2 bfs) are married or have significant others. I work with all married guys. I have some friends at church (also married). So YES it is hard to find friends to hang out with. I also hate feeling like I am prying my way into someones already busy life. When friends call me, I am usually available but that doesn't happen as often as I like. SOOOOO I just hang out with my self, and my kids (which isn't all bad). I had alot of friends when I lived in Washington state, that I truly miss. It would be nice to have someone close to hang out with, but it's really hard to find and develop close friends.
I feel like I have friends on this site though
memoriesbymichelle