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Make Face Time

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NyssaTheHobbit

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The more we connect, the more we disconnect. I for one have grown increasingly irritated with how hard it is to get friends and family to leave their computer games and Ventrillo and WOW and actually come over/upstairs to hang out. Once I told a friend I wanted to see him more often in person, and he asked, "Are you bored? But you have a computer!" Sigh.....My mom used to say my dad came home to see the computer, not the family. Now I'm a computer widow myself.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/25/business/media/25adco.html?_r=1&ref=business&oref=slogin
Get off the Internet; make face time


From http://www.people.fas.harvard.edu/~hillygus/Wellmanchapter.pdf:


While e-mail may promote a sort of “contact” with friends and family, that virtual contact may be more superficial than that which occurs in more personal settings. Interpersonal communications have a purpose far different from the instant, asynchronous control and coordination purposes of e-mail in the business world. Face-to-face and even telephone communication among friends, family, and colleagues, are as much about affect as information. Although empathy, tenderness, reassurance, flirtation, sadness or happiness can be written into e-mail messages, e-mail misses the eye contact, body language, facial expressions, vocalization, hugs, tears, embraces, and giggles that are the fundamentals of our socio-emotional evolution. E-mail thus appears to imply an obvious tradeoff between quantity and quality of social interaction. Similarly, even the most gratifying telephone calls cannot replace a personal visit. To be sure, writing letters, too, is an activity between self and mind, all the while imagining the recipient and his or her reactions. E-mail, in this regard, is more like letter writing, as we have understood it through the ages – but in a more casual mode, with less emotional involvement or exposure.

.......

Conclusion

We find that the results from our recent time diary survey offer strong support for the “hydraulic” or displacement hypothesis – and no evidence to support the efficiency hypothesis. On average, the more time spent on the Internet, the less time spent with friends, family, and colleagues. Alternatively, the more time spent on the Internet, the more time spent alone. Even more compelling, perhaps, are our findings regarding location of Internet use. Internet use at home has a strong negative impact on time spent with friends and family, while Internet use at work is strongly related to decreased time with colleagues (but has little effect on social time with friends and family). Similarly, Internet use during the weekends is more strongly related to decreased time spent with friends and family than Internet use during weekdays, for it is during these hours— evenings and weekends—when time on Internet and e-mail competes most directly with
time spent in face to face interactions with others. And while email undeniably brings some social benefits, time on the Internet—e-mail or otherwise—is fundamentally time spent alone.

It is always difficult in an empirical work, primarily designed to test competing hypotheses, to stand back and rise above the specific findings to consider the larger social implications. The concerns we raised in this chapter, and with the original SIQSS study about the potential social consequences of the Internet in reducing the density and heterogeneity of face-to- face social relationships, were not predicated on the Internet as a
single social invention, but rather, as part of on ongoing sociological trend. Much of the social history of the 19th and 20th century is a story about the dissolution of community and family connections — the social support networks that linked individuals to one another and to their communities. It is a central theme among those who study modernity. Moreover, much of this decline in face-to- face social connectedness has arisen from one
technological change after another. The mobility made possible by the railroad and automobile also made possible sub- urbanization and the atomistic bedroom community. Likewise, airplanes, highway systems, and the telephone made it feasible for the modern corporation to exist in many places at once, and, consequently, made it necessary to move its managers(if not its workforce) from one city or count ry to another. In stark contrast with just a generation or two ago, it is common for people to be born and raised in one community but live their adult lives in another (or a series of several others). All of these innovations have had unintended negative effects on lifelong family, extended family, and friendship ties. Siblings, parents, children, aunts, cousins, grade school and high school friends are no longer present daily, and they no longer form the lifelong support and friendship groups they once did.

To be clear—we are not offering a doomsday warning about any immediate threat of extinction of face-to- face interpersonal relationships. Rather, we want to emphasize that Internet use—whatever its possible benefits to virtual communities—involves a time tradeoff in which time on the Internet at home and (to a lesser extent) at work displaces face-to-face social interactions. We do believe that it is particularly important to be
conscious and aware of this tradeoff because Internet use in American society continues to grow as bandwidths and connection speeds increase. Moreover, in a world of DSL and beyond, increasing commuting times, and ever more expensive office space, workers may increasingly be telecommuting from home—and yet another rich source of human
interactions will have slipped away. Coupled with the fact that single member households are the fastest growing type of American household, it seems possible that a growing portion of the population may soon live as well as work alone. Within such a context, the unintended social consequences of the Internet become more pervasive. The human psyche evolved under a much richer and enduring social world— kith, kin, and community were both daily and enduring interactions of life. The Internet is not, by any means, itself responsible for the transformation to a world in which people spend more of their waking hours alone than with others. But, the Internet follows a long string of technological innovations that each have had the unintended consequence of reducing the number and meaningfulness of emotionally gratifying face-to-face human interactions.
 

Khaleas

Also known as Jenn the Finn :)
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We have a while to go... the Finns text eachother when they sit next to eachother or are just in different rooms in the house...
But yes, it was our new years promise with hubs this past year and we did good in the beginning but when he has been gone on the boat or off training somewhere the computer makes for pretty decent company.
I think it's time to make that new years promise again next year....
 
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E.C.

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That's why I love my work and school. I see people at school I get along with and likewise at work. The only real difference is the people I work with are a bit more wise-a--ish than those I go to school with.

Either way, I'm guaranteed some bit of human interaction. Although I must admit that if I were on a date with some girl that did nothing but text than it would not last long at all.

When I was washing dishes for a couple of months, the social rule was basically this: ignore dishwasher unless you need something or he talks to you. And that is/was the case for almost all dishwashers in the world! So, from that I learned to appreciate seeing people face to face and on occasion having a real conversation.
 
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NyssaTheHobbit

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I've been a housewife for several years because of the birth of my son, and that's also about the time that my previous church disbanded the youth group I worked with....We have friends a couple blocks away and an hour away, but we have an awful time trying to get anything together with them. One set has three kids; the other has weird work hours to deal with. So even though I have friends nearby, it seems like the computer is my only social interaction most of the time. I really feel an acute lack of their face-to-face presence. I'm so glad to be getting to know people at church. :p
 
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