It’s hard man, I don’t think I’m just OCD I think I might have Bipolar disorder or something. Anyways, I really don’t have any excuse for what happened. I think I may just be unforgivable now but I’m gonna try to keep asking for forgiveness and become better even if it’s useless.
i got bipolar, i do understand how hard it is to fight sin when you are mentally ill, i have been through it. What i learned is that mentally ill people lack truth and love, yet these two things are our Lord.
So put your faith in God's love, not your own, and trust that He will make good what now is crooked. That is what i did, snowed under by my sin at the time, yet Jesus taught me to love Him not just fear Him and He taught me the truth of the lies i was believing and i have improved enormously.
So please don't panic but begin to sow the good seed of God's love into your heart. Each time you fall for sin go back to the Lord and thank Him for grace confessing to Him your sins and letting Him wash them away. This is how love grows. To go to God and eat grace. So if you sin a lot then God's grace will be enormous and you will begin to love Him instead of fear Him. Love growing inside your heart will break you free from your sin. Honest! Love for God does not want to sin, but love the Lord, not offend against Him.
So eat grace brother. The more grace you eat the better equipped to fight your sin you will be. Let go of loveless self and let the Lord replace it with a loving self, so let go of all bad life, lust , greed, selfishness, dishonesty, unfaithfulness, and fearful self, let it all go and let Jesus replace such self with a loving self.
Honestly true faith in God's love - Jesus Christ - is the best thing you can do. For the love of God growing inside of your heart will set you free from your sin and also from the power of your mental illness.
Fight the evil in your heart by loving them to death that is how you break free from those evildoers. The wicked cannot fight God's loving truth. So get the truth of the bible into you. The more you let yourself be guide by the truth the freer of those evildoers you will be.
In your own ability you will never be able to please God so place your faith in Jesus, don't look at yourself in sin but look at Jesus dying on the cross because of that. This will teach you to love Jesus. Eating grace and learning to love Jesus for loving you while you were still a sinner and setting you free from the sins you could in your own ability not overcome.
i love Jesus for setting me free from my sin, for they have been many, yet now i refrain from sin more and more because loving Jesus does not seek to do what is wrong. The best part is that lust in me is long time dead and can no longer torture me with my own sexuality. So go to Jesus - even today and ask for the love that is able to sacrifice itself for the other.
Be of good courage - Jesus is a fantastic deliverer with Him as King of your heart the wicked wont have a chance getting to you any longer.
Feasting My Good Life.
The Wicked captivated my truth
the truth of my heart and mind
and wound me around their lies
knotted me out of my own reality
into the dungeons of torture below.
Unable to unravel their cob webs
the wicked took control of my life
and brought much pain and misery
feasting on my God given good life
at the expense of my own welfare.
Yet when Christ light lit up my night
and i saw Him on the clouds of heaven
The Wicked sprung all their traps
thinking i was as good as dead
trapped in their nasty fowler's nets.
Yet the Lion of the tribe of Judea
killed the goats great and small
and set me free from their control
and gave me back my freedom in Him
feasting good times growing New Life.