Lying to not hurt someone's feelings

[flowerforever7]

Hi,

I have question. Recently I was in a very akward situtation. Someone I just met (person A) knows someone we both know (person B). When I told this person (B) that I ran into person (A), person B told me, "you didn't give person A your phone number did you?" I said no, and asked why. Person B told me that Person A is a little overbearing and implied that though the person was nice that they may not be all there mentally. Recently I saw person A again. Person A asked what person B said when I told them that I ran into person A. ...

How would you handle this?

I know it is a sin to lie. At the same time, if I give the truth it may crush the person.

Please help?

Thanks.

 

[LWB]

This question has popped up a couple of times recently.

Although I would lie to protect someone's life, I wouldn't lie to protect someone's feelings. That doesn't mean I would disclose the truth either.

So in that situation, I would throw the question back. I would say 'why do you wish to know what person B said'? Whatever the response, I would explain that I felt uncomfortable disclosing conversations spoken in confidence. My tone would depend on how I felt about the person; whether they were being nosey or naive.

 

[daydreamergurl15]

Why not say "I can't reveal what they said" and move on. You answered the question, didn't lie, and didn't tell what the other said.

 

[brightmorningstar]

Why not say "I can't reveal what they said" and move on. You answered the question, didn't lie, and didn't tell what the other said.

Amen, well said.

I agree, we could just say its better for them to say directly. .. otherwise we are coming close to gossip.

 

[ebia]

Why not say "I can't reveal what they said" and move on. You answered the question, didn't lie, and didn't tell what the other said.

But you leave them anxious about it, with no way of resolving that.

 

[brightmorningstar]

But you leave them anxious about it, with no way of resolving that.

Thats not daydreamergurl's problem, .. do not be anxiuous is also Christ's teaching.

 

[EBR]

I would lie to save a life, but not to keep from offending someone.

 

[Traveller and Wiley]

Although I would lie to protect someone's life, I wouldn't lie to protect someone's feelings. That doesn't mean I would disclose the truth either.

Let's be honest, though. Can you really think of a case where "lying to protect someone's feelings" doesn't really boil down to "lying to save myself from an awkward situation where I might be uncomfortable"?

There are times where the obligation to tell the truth can be a little nebulous, such as when a question is an illogical or unjust question (i.e. "Do you still beat your wife", "Are you hiding Jews in your basement?") but in reality, it usually comes down to, "if I tell the truth, there will be consequences for my actions or words that I don't want to face".

So in that situation, I would throw the question back. I would say 'why do you wish to know what person B said'? Whatever the response, I would explain that I felt uncomfortable disclosing conversations spoken in confidence.

And that's perfectly reasonable, just as it would be acceptable to say, "I'd rather not say".

 

[new_wine]

A Christian has God inside them.

God does not lie.

Do the math.

 

[daydreamergurl15]

But you leave them anxious about it, with no way of resolving that.

They BOTH need to speak to each other.The OP shouldn't have to be the instigator.

 

[Cuddles333]

If the lie saves a situation from deteriorating, then it would be the approriate thing to do. This is a case of situation ethics . Like where Rahab the harlot lied to protect the Israelite spies in the Old Testament. She is praised by 2 writers of the new Testament. It wasn't for her lying that she is praised, but for what motivated her to lie for the good of her and the spies.

 

[new_wine]

The lying to protect the spies is not what caused her to be accepted by God. That was what she did with her profane heart.

It was because she placed faith into The God of Abraham and not in her heathen gods. She accepted his authority and was justified.

Just as we are saved and justified by placing our faith in him.

The lie was forgiven because of her faith, not for what it did. Just as all our old sins are forgiven when we are saved.