Lustful Thoughts

[NR90]

This is steered more towards men but if you women have any advice please be open with the advice.

Okay I use to struggle with Self Pleasure. I use to do it everyday but THANK GOODNESS I CAN CONTROL MYSELF NOW! But I still have Lustful thoughts!

Any advice on how to control this?
I mean I get so many unwanted thoughts in my head that are sexual.
Like if I see a sex scene on TV i'll picture myself in that scene!
I have even saw scenes of homosexual stuff and even those thoughts enter my mind! And i'm not Homosexual. Though I have had an experience with that stuff when I was young. I didn't know better then and I wasn't even homosexual then. Wasn't ever.
These thoughts even sometimes include children and this scares me. I would never ever do anything lustful with a child ever. Also some thoughts involve my step sister. I mean seriously. Like where do these things come from!

Like I said. These are unwanted thoughts that I would never commit. Thoughts I would never dream of doing. The only way this stuff would happen is if i'm demon possessed.
Am I the only one that has these thoughts?

And any advice. I really didnt ask for these thoughts. There unwanted. I just want loving thoughts, caring thoughts, and giving thoughts.

 

[aMancalledDavid]

Well, I can say that I am actually fighting the battle you can control now, lustful thoughts are where it all starts.

I read in this book that the mind is the biggest sex organ, and I most certainly believe it.

Concerning the thoughts: I believe it is just the devil trying to 'force-pollute' your mind. You clearly know that these are not your thoughts and that you don't want them, so just try to not worry too much.
Pray, for sure and just stay in the Word. We are newborn babes in CHRIST, and the Word is the milk by which we grow.
I am a caring and loving person(althought I have my moments), but there are times I have really violent thoughts that I would NEVER do, not in a million billion trillion years, but they are there.
The devil is not our friend; haha

Oh, another thing that book, Every Young Man's Battle, talked about was this:
Your sex drive is a sumo, and depending upon how much you feed him, he will overpower you at times. But, if you starve the sumo, you can eventually beat him.

Put your care on God, for He careth for you!

 

[StoneWater]

People deal with spirits all the time. That is where these thoughts come from. Whether you call them "demons" or whatever, doesn't really matter. The whole point is there are two phases:

One:-> They present something to you

Two:-> Your choice to resist or give in.


If you give in, then you are going into those things.

And this is how serial killers and such are made, and all the other problems in the world (one could say).


One trick they can use is to make you think it is of yourself. Then they can try and wear you down with guilt.


You need to focus on women. Desire for women is perfectly normal and healthy. You can put out sexual urges, but it is extremely difficult to do. Basically, we have momentum in whatever we do.

If you feed that other stuff, though, that is not a good direction.

The main thing you need to be doing is quite simple:

Dating.

 

[StoneWater]

And it is not demon possession, FYI.


It is basic, everyday temptation. Everyone deals with many spirits everyday, they just are generally unconscious of it.


As for worrying about your sexuality... do you find women attractive? If you must, stick to feeding that.

In general, there is nothing wrong with a healthy sexual fantasy life as this is a big part of dating and a healthy sex life. Though, leaving dating out of the equation can be destructive.

 

[aMancalledDavid]

Wait wait WAIT!

I certainly hope you are not referring to premarital sex Stonewater: the Bible is COMPLETELY against that.

JESUS taught of sexual fantasies as being wrong, because that's where the action of fornication starts; the heart's intent.

In the sermon on the mount in MATTHEW, Jesus says this: You have heard it said of old that if a man lay with a woman they have sinned, verily verily I tell you now; if a man look at woman as to lust after her he hath already commited the act in his heart.

We are called to be pure SPIRITUALLY, that means; thoughts.

Staying away from sexual temptation (could be by dating) is nottttt destructive; but would give you more time to focus on your relationship with God. Paul promoted staying single to keep the focus on Christ; Paul was PASSIONATE and FIRED UP about God, an example I know I want to follow.

 

[aMancalledDavid]

Please, please read about fornication, concupisence, inordinate affection, lasciviousness in the Bible before you promote sexual fantasies.

I guarentee you with my life that CHRIST would NOTT say sexual fantasies are good.
Being a Christian means that you not only belong to CHRIST, but you follow Him.

I am sorry, Stonewater, but that is the WORST advice, and most destructive advice I have heard all day. Please pray about this and read the New Testament.

 

[StoneWater]

Wait wait WAIT!

I certainly hope you are not referring to premarital sex Stonewater: the Bible is COMPLETELY against that.

JESUS taught of sexual fantasies as being wrong, because that's where the action of fornication starts; the heart's intent.

In the sermon on the mount in MATTHEW, Jesus says this: You have heard it said of old that if a man lay with a woman they have sinned, verily verily I tell you now; if a man look at woman as to lust after her he hath already commited the act in his heart.

We are called to be pure SPIRITUALLY, that means; thoughts.

Staying away from sexual temptation (could be by dating) is nottttt destructive; but would give you more time to focus on your relationship with God. Paul promoted staying single to keep the focus on Christ; Paul was PASSIONATE and FIRED UP about God, an example I know I want to follow.

You actually misquoted the verse substantially.

27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’[a] 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.


Adultery is quite different from sexual fantasies when one is single and dating.

 

[StoneWater]

Please, please read about fornication, concupisence, inordinate affection, lasciviousness in the Bible before you promote sexual fantasies.

I guarentee you with my life that CHRIST would NOTT say sexual fantasies are good.
Being a Christian means that you not only belong to CHRIST, but you follow Him.

I am sorry, Stonewater, but that is the WORST advice, and most destructive advice I have heard all day. Please pray about this and read the New Testament.

*shrug*

It is normal human behavior. I was celibate for a very long time during the peak of my life, kept out sexual fantasies everyday and night. I did not touch for years.

I know of no one else who has done this and surely would not make it some kind of law for people to do this.


27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’[a] 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.



Fornication is literally engaging in sex. Paul points out this should be fleed because the actual act of sex.

I am not stating one should pollute their minds with any manner of desire, be it towards anything... money, fame, sex, whatever.


One should have control over such things.

But to argue people never have such thoughts at all is a different matter entirely, and I find dishonest.


It sets up an impossible standard.

Jesus did not say that about having feelings for women at all. He said it about adultery which is a very serious ... affair.


27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’[a] 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.

 

[aMancalledDavid]

The Spirit does not convict me when I do things like that because it is good.......
I have horrible problems with that right now, and know just how destructive it can be. That's why I stand strongly against sexual fantasies, intent and premarital sex still. Been there, done that, doesn't help my relationship with God or Walk with CHRIST; but actually hurts it.

It was a quick response, my Bible is not next to me and I quoted from my brain. I, like you, and every other man on this earth, am not perfect.

 

[LifebyChrist]

What did Jesus do when he was tempted?

Jesus had the Holy Spirit

Luke 4:1 "Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, left the Jordan and was led by the Spirit into the wilderness,"

When Satan tempted him he responded by scripture.

So two things I see,

1. The power of the Holy Spirit
2. Quoting scripture as Christ did to overcome temptations

Deuteronomy 10:12-13 "And now, Israel, what does the LORD your God ask of you but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in obedience to him, to love him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to observe the LORD’s commands and decrees that I am giving you today for your own good?"

1 Corinthians 6:18
"Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body."

Galatians 5:16
"But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh."

If you do not have the Holy Spirit then do this

Acts 2:38 "Peter replied, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit."

If you need more assistance then ask your pastor at Church for help, Good luck in dealing with this.

 

[aMancalledDavid]

Say what you will, it's terrible and unbiblical advice. I try so hard every single day to fight what you are promoting.

DeathbyFruit is dead on.

 

[singpeace]

Hi NR90.

God bless you for being so forthcoming and candid. I thank God for this gift of Internet... 'makes it easier to be honest.

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” (Romans 12:2)



I had a similar dilemma years ago when I first became a Christian. I didn't seek out sexual things to look at, but because of my childhood and my past (poor decisions), there it was - pictures I did not want to see would flash across my mind.

I learned that while Salvation is instant - the renewing of the mind is a process. The mind gets programmed reverse to what God intended.
The way to clean out the junk and get optimum performance as God intended requires these things which helped me, and I haven't had that problem now for 15+ years:

1. Discipline. If there is a sex scene in a movie, turn off the movie. Pick up your bible and read a verse or two and then pray.

2. Learn. Learn what the Word of God says about the mind and the thought processes. Then speak these truths out loud about yourself.

3. Fast. Go without whatever is the hardest thing to put down. Do this for a time - 3 days, 2 weeks, a month - however long is your limit. As you fast, pray for the same thing every day: that God will deliver you completely from this obsession/bondage.

God promises,
James 4:8
"Draw near to me, and I will draw near to you. Resist the devil and he will flee from you."

God promises,
John 15:7
"If you abide [dwell] in me, and my Word abides in you, ask what you will and IT SHALL BE DONE."

God promises,
Romans 10:17
"Faith comes by hearing [understanding], and hearing [understanding] comes by the Word of God."


2 Corinthians 4:16 (HCSB)

16. Therefore we do not give up; even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day.


Ephesians 4:23 (HCSB)

23. you are being renewed in the spirit of your minds;


Colossians 3:10 (HCSB)

10. and have put on the new man, who is being renewed in knowledge according to the image of his Creator.

Father, deliver my brother like you delivered me so many years ago. Nothing is impossible to you. Give this son of yours a brand new way of seeing things, of comprehending, and of revelation of your great glory. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

 

[StoneWater]

Say what you will, it's terrible and unbiblical advice. I try so hard every single day to fight what you are promoting.

DeathbyFruit is dead on.

I don't and didn't "try". I did.

That is advice that works.

Are you saying you have also gone years without masturbation in the prime of your life and sexual fantasies?

I did.

I am giving advice that works from experience.


Setting an unreasonable goal sets people up for failure. It also claims to have abilities one does not have. And to have mastered things one has not mastered.

 

[StoneWater]

Look, I can tell you what works:

-> get rid of television and radio
-> avoid looking at women on the streets in short skirts and such, stop your eyes

Eventually one then stops the habit of gawking. It is momentum.

Avoid magazines.

Avert your gaze from anything revealing.

Again, you get out of it.

Submerse yourself in religious books and set a serious religious goal, as well as other goals.


Devote yourself to staying celibate, keep a strong stand off distance from women.


That works. That is how I kept away from sexual fantasies for years in the prime of my life. No masturbation, no wet dreams.


It is extremely grueling and I do not believe God asks that from us, but if you wish to know, there it is.

I even had two attractive women friends I did not think of in that way, after considerable practice.


I didn't spend a lot of time with them, but just saying.

 

[Don Sharma]

Physically fasting will not be broken. But it is against the spirit of fasting. Fasting is not just avaiding food and drink. But one has to avoid all un-necessary talks and amusements. One will get the reward of Fasting and not its fruits if we don't take care of these. The result and goal of fasting is to have piety-Taqwa in our lives. May Allah accept all of us..Amen.

 

[perrfekt]

It sets up an impossible standard.

the OT details what is required of us, and hence, we cannot fulfill that impossible standard. Jesus laid out an impossible standard. if you lust, you commit adultery. a fantasy is lust, plain and simple. so yes, we are held to impossible standards. thats why Jesus died on the cross, because we could not meet the standard.

to say "i can't meet the standard so why even bother trying" is covered by paul in the NT, should read it.

to you NR90, its a tough battle, and most men are either fighting the battle or wallowing in the sin. few are blessed to not have to struggle with sexual sin. as fantasies and porn become more common, you will begin to fantasize about more drastic/hardcore things and that leads the same with porn. eventually everything is sexualized and we just wind up perverts. its a tough road to change your thoughts, but the Word of God can do just that. Read romans 6-8 daily, take it in, meditate on it, pray for your thoughts to change.

the only time sexual fantasies are okay are when you are married, and you fantasize about your spouse. thats it. Jesus Christ himself said to not fantasize about other women, he called it adultery. thats pretty plain right there. among other things lust is defined as: a self-indulgent sexual desire.

 

[aMancalledDavid]

Look, I can tell you what works:

-> get rid of television and radio
-> avoid looking at women on the streets in short skirts and such, stop your eyes

Eventually one then stops the habit of gawking. It is momentum.

Avoid magazines.

Avert your gaze from anything revealing.

Again, you get out of it.

Submerse yourself in religious books and set a serious religious goal, as well as other goals.


Devote yourself to staying celibate, keep a strong stand off distance from women.


That works. That is how I kept away from sexual fantasies for years in the prime of my life. No masturbation, no wet dreams.


It is extremely grueling and I do not believe God asks that from us, but if you wish to know, there it is.

I even had two attractive women friends I did not think of in that way, after considerable practice.


I didn't spend a lot of time with them, but just saying.

Now that, is AWESOME advice!! That's what I try to do, it is TOUGH, oh yeah. But unspeakably rewarding.
I apologize stonewater for how I was.
I myself am doing just that, I have not watched tv in over a year, and not just because of all the sexuality, just because it was wasting my time. Music is ok when I stick to music that talks about God, or has super long instrumentals.

Avoiding sensual images whether in print or right next to you breathing and walking, is hard at first, but eventually, it will become second nature. A book I read calls it, 'bouncing' the eyes. a technique Job used.

When you are married, fantasies about your spouse, that is not bad; so agreed.

There are many, many many many many verse talking against lust and impure thoughts though. Basically summed up in Romans like this: Your body is not your own, but the temple of the Holy Spirit. It is your reasonable and acceptable service to present your bodies living sacrifices unto God. Let your members(body) be used as a tool of righteousness, not a tool of unrighteousness.

If you have controlled the self-satisfaction habit, you are more than halfway there. It is harder for me to quite that then it was to quite cigarettes. So congrats for stumping that monster

And being 18 years old, mind you, this is nooooooooooo easy task.