Lukewarm Life

[jasperbound]

I have a prayer that I hope will be answered by God, and I do hope that some of you would pray for me too. I was originally going to post this in the Prayer Requests forum, but it seemed more appropriate here at the last minute.
On one hand, I enjoy life. I'm blessed with friends, family, wealth, and gifts that I can use to glorify the Lord. However, I just don't care enough for life. I've felt for a very long time that ending my life would be preferable to continuing it (in fact, I might still be able to make it to Heaven if I did do it). It just doesn't feel worth going through for a few more decades. One reason I haven't ended it though, besides not wanting to hurt and shame my family, is that I thought an SO would complete me, but after talking (and being rejected) by the woman I thought would end up as that SO, I now realize that living solely for one person is extremely unhealthy and would not end well (she would definitely compete with God in my head). I want to live for my family, my friends, and my God, not out of obligation, but out of my love for life and for them, but right now, I feel obligated to continue my existence in a life I feel is too lukewarm, so I pray that God gives me what I need to truly enjoy life with a proper perspective and not want to die or be so lukewarm about life. I also pray that he helps destroy this desire of mine to focus my life on one single person, no matter how great they are. It not only ruins me, but it also ruins my friendships.
I do hope God answers my prayer soon (positively, not negatively), because I feel as though I'd be better to everybody and I could really live for God if I wasn't so eager to end this life.

 

[rosemoss]

I'm here in the depression forum because I've suffered from and have dealt with depression most of my adult life. I have felt lukewarm about God, my family, my life in general many times. Don't give in to those feelings, rebuke them from your life, I truely have to do this sometimes, I start feeling so down and upset and horrid that I'm about to scream.
Do not try and take your own life. You're much more precious then that. I've learned the hard way.
Please forgive me if I sound bossy, I just know you're a child of God and He loves you.

God Bless,

rosemoss

 

[tiggercat]

I'm here in the depression forum because I've suffered from and have dealt with depression most of my adult life. I have felt lukewarm about God, my family, my life in general many times. Don't give in to those feelings, rebuke them from your life, I truely have to do this sometimes, I start feeling so down and upset and horrid that I'm about to scream.

It's very hard though, even though I know what you say is true.


I am going through a period right now of doubt and depression.

 

[rosemoss]

It's very hard though, even though I know what you say is true.


I am going through a period right now of doubt and depression.

I know its hard. The feelings can be so overwhelming, so "loud" that nothing else can come in. I know this and I wish I didn't, I wish you didn't, I wish no one would know what depression, self-doubt, lonliness,ect. felt like.

I forced myself a couple days ago to pick up one of my devotional books. I hadn't touched them in some time. I read the first passage. Then the second. Then kept going. For a short time, my mind wasn't on myself, wasn't on my problems. It was on Him. When I was done, and going about my day, my mind wandered back to everything wrong in my life, then it dawned on me, I need to focus on the good. That doesn't mean my problems are over, as much as I want a "quick fix" its not going to happen. But, with God I can handle it much better then on my own.

Jasper and Tigger,
You both hang in there. Be around your friends and family, go to church if you can. That always helps me to calm down.

God Bless,

rosemoss

 

[BlackRain]

going to church always helped me!! even now, when i'm having a rough day i'll turn on some praise and worship music and i'll go for a drive. just being surrounded by something positive always helps me.