Loved ones in Hell

[Boomygrrl]

I am participating in another thread, concerning Hell...and it made me think of a question to post on this thread.
Many, but not all, Christians believe in Hell...some believe in fire and brimstone, some believe it's more a spiritual torture of being separated from God.
For those of you that believe in Hell and believe it to be a miserable place, this question applies to you.
Let's say you are married to a very kind, loving person. You both die in a car wreck. You go to heaven, your spouse goes to hell.
How do you enjoy heaven, knowing your loved one is in hell? If you answer this by saying you wouldn't marry an unbeliever, then let's say it's a family member that you love deeply.
If your loved one is suffering, while you're enjoying talking to Jesus and having a mansion or golden crown, you know...all the goodies you get in heaven. You are in bliss because you are in the presence of God almighty. Afterlife is great, or is it? Does your brain conveniently forget about your spouse or loved one? Is it as if this person never existed in your mind? Is that a better alternative, even? What do you think happens, and what are your feelings if this hypothetical situation happened to you?
I know I'll get all kinds of answers. I promise to not criticize you, even if I don't like what you have to say. This isn't about debating who is right or wrong, as your own feelings on the subject is right, because they are your own...and that's what I want to know.
My responses will be questions to clarify if I don't understand something or to say "thanks" and encourage more people to respond.
Remember you have already witnessed to this person in everyway you know how...when both of you die, regardless of your efforts, this person died as an unbeliever. Keep that in mind.
Okay, discuss. Thanks in advance.

Boomygrrl

 

[Reformationist]

I am participating in another thread, concerning Hell...and it made me think of a question to post on this thread.
Many, but not all, Christians believe in Hell...some believe in fire and brimstone, some believe it's more a spiritual torture of being separated from God.
For those of you that believe in Hell and believe it to be a miserable place, this question applies to you.
Let's say you are married to a very kind, loving person. You both die in a car wreck. You go to heaven, your spouse goes to hell.
How do you enjoy heaven, knowing your loved one is in hell? If you answer this by saying you wouldn't marry an unbeliever, then let's say it's a family member that you love deeply.
If your loved one is suffering, while you're enjoying talking to Jesus and having a mansion or golden crown, you know...all the goodies you get in heaven. You are in bliss because you are in the presence of God almighty. Afterlife is great, or is it? Does your brain conveniently forget about your spouse or loved one? Is it as if this person never existed in your mind? Is that a better alternative, even? What do you think happens, and what are your feelings if this hypothetical situation happened to you?
I know I'll get all kinds of answers. I promise to not criticize you, even if I don't like what you have to say. This isn't about debating who is right or wrong, as your own feelings on the subject is right, because they are your own...and that's what I want to know.
My responses will be questions to clarify if I don't understand something or to say "thanks" and encourage more people to respond.
Remember you have already witnessed to this person in everyway you know how...when both of you die, regardless of your efforts, this person died as an unbeliever. Keep that in mind.
Okay, discuss. Thanks in advance.

Boomygrrl

As with any discussions of the afterlife that we may have, if it is not directly revealed in the Word we can only speculate. I do not think our temporal relationships, while valuable, would be of any consequence to the joy we would have in the Lord when we are glorified with Him in Heaven.

God bless

 

[jehovahway]

We all know God knows best this is what God can and will do he knows if you
are going to heaven and the other person will not go.
what he will do is remove the memorie of them from you because if he dident
you would not be able to be happy in heaven yourself.
The Lord God allready has these things work out ahead of time.Thats why hes God
because when you arrive in heaven the only thing that will really matter is that Jesus really does love you
people there show so much love for each other, not like here because natural
human love can go from love to hate in one min.
Remain blessed as you move on looking for truth.

 

[Reformationist]

what he will do is remove the memorie of them from you because if he dident you would not be able to be happy in heaven yourself.

Umm...where did you get this from?

 

[Animerulz400]

Did he fix it yet? I don't believe God can fix it when someone's already in hell.

 

[jehovahway]

Jesus Christ is the one that will decide who goes we havent gotton to the judgmant hall in heaven yet.
that will be the worst day of Jesus CHRIST LIFE i AM GLAD I DONT HAVE THAT DECISION TO MAKE
Jesus christ hast to look in two books to decide who goes
[The BOOK OF LIFE]
tHE[ book of Deeds ]which is a record of your whole life from when you came
here as a babe till you die
The angel that God has asigned to everyone will carry a record of your life
along with you to the proper place.when you die
All this is found in the Holy Bible

 

[GodSaves]

I am participating in another thread, concerning Hell...and it made me think of a question to post on this thread.
Many, but not all, Christians believe in Hell...some believe in fire and brimstone, some believe it's more a spiritual torture of being separated from God.
For those of you that believe in Hell and believe it to be a miserable place, this question applies to you.
Let's say you are married to a very kind, loving person. You both die in a car wreck. You go to heaven, your spouse goes to hell.
How do you enjoy heaven, knowing your loved one is in hell? If you answer this by saying you wouldn't marry an unbeliever, then let's say it's a family member that you love deeply.
If your loved one is suffering, while you're enjoying talking to Jesus and having a mansion or golden crown, you know...all the goodies you get in heaven. You are in bliss because you are in the presence of God almighty. Afterlife is great, or is it? Does your brain conveniently forget about your spouse or loved one? Is it as if this person never existed in your mind? Is that a better alternative, even? What do you think happens, and what are your feelings if this hypothetical situation happened to you?
I know I'll get all kinds of answers. I promise to not criticize you, even if I don't like what you have to say. This isn't about debating who is right or wrong, as your own feelings on the subject is right, because they are your own...and that's what I want to know.
My responses will be questions to clarify if I don't understand something or to say "thanks" and encourage more people to respond.
Remember you have already witnessed to this person in everyway you know how...when both of you die, regardless of your efforts, this person died as an unbeliever. Keep that in mind.
Okay, discuss. Thanks in advance.

Boomygrrl

I have a family member now who is not a Christian. I have been talking with her but she says she isn't ready. She believes in God, but chooses not to follow God. I have often sat and thought about your question concerning my family member.

I faithfully believe God will take care of any pain we will have due to the fact of people we know who will not be saved. I trust God that He will deal with that in me. I cannot change hearts, I am only human. I can talk about what God has done, but I cannot change people. I believe we do the best we can to live the life God wants us to live, tell people about God and hope that they listen seriously. Their choice is not our responsibility, but no doubt that while we are here we will feel somewhat responsible for them not converting. That is to be human. I know I have guilt for feeling like I am not doing enough, or presenting God in the best way, even though it is not in my power to change another. I can continue to live in Christ and present His Word through my life and answer questions if they arise, but I cannot change people.

If I didn't believe and trust God then I might wonder if I will be miserable in heaven because people I know didn't believe. I trust God will take care of this in me. How He will, I don't know, but He will. I don't need to know how, but that He will.

 

[StaySalty]

We know we won't be mourning in heaven

And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.
Revelation 7:17


And, as Christians, we really have to consider who our REAL family is (as hard as this might seem to realize right now). But read what Jesus said:

20Someone told him, "Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to see you."
21He replied, "My mother and brothers are those who hear God's word and put it into practice."
Luke 8:20-21

Finally, we love Christ far more than our earthly family/friends/etc (afterall, He DID create us. Apart from Him, we are not)

"If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters–yes, even his own life–he cannot be my disciple.
Luke 14:26

 

[Bevlina]

And we also have to realise that nobody has been judged as yet.

 

[Rafael]

Perhaps this why it is said that He will wipe away every tear. Eternity may be so different from this dimension of time we experience now that memories may well disappear quickly into joy, as shared earlier. I think we all have people that we love, especially in families, but we know, too, that many will not be there with us who have not chosen to follow after God and His salvation. With Him to comfort us, and with His love, surely He can show us new things and revelation that will be a restoration to us.

Re 21:4 "And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away."

 

[WashedClean]

We know we won't be mourning in heaven

And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.
Revelation 7:17


And, as Christians, we really have to consider who our REAL family is (as hard as this might seem to realize right now). But read what Jesus said:

20Someone told him, "Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to see you."
21He replied, "My mother and brothers are those who hear God's word and put it into practice."
Luke 8:20-21

Finally, we love Christ far more than our earthly family/friends/etc (afterall, He DID create us. Apart from Him, we are not)

"If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters–yes, even his own life–he cannot be my disciple.
Luke 14:26

Excellent post, you took the words right out of my mouth!!

 

[Bonhoffer]

We cannot know who will be in heaven until we get there. We might beleive that our brother the militant atheist who died last year has gone to hell, but how do we know where his heart was at the last second of his life. Maybe the the shock realisation of "Oh I'm dying! Now its time to give God a try!" make him accept Christ as he dies.

 

[Animerulz400]

Jesus Christ is the one that will decide who goes we havent gotton to the judgmant hall in heaven yet.
that will be the worst day of Jesus CHRIST LIFE i AM GLAD I DONT HAVE THAT DECISION TO MAKE
Jesus christ hast to look in two books to decide who goes
[The BOOK OF LIFE]
tHE[ book of Deeds ]which is a record of your whole life from when you came
here as a babe till you die
The angel that God has asigned to everyone will carry a record of your life
along with you to the proper place.when you die
All this is found in the Holy Bible

If that's so...what's the point in having God if Jesus makes the desion if you go to hell?

 

[GodSaves]

Jesus is God.

 

[rapturefish]

Remember you have already witnessed to this person in everyway you know how...when both of you die, regardless of your efforts, this person died as an unbeliever. Keep that in mind.
Okay, discuss. Thanks in advance.

Boomygrrl

I lost a grandmother a few years ago, one I grew up with. I had tried every way I knew how to witness to her in her last few years as her health grew worse. She never accepted the Lord, and when she died it was the lowest point in the worst year ever for me. At the time I was also in the midst of a terrible case of church abuse whereby a fellow christian was psychologically bullying me. How bad can you get?

Thankfully the Lord delivered me from the unforgiveness I had towards this other person and the following year was one of the best ever. Still, the puzzle remained about my grandmother. She was loved by all of her many children and she was by all accounts considered to be a very good woman. Yet she did not believe in the God I tried to show to her. Believe me, I tried. I got that fellow christian to witness in cantonese to her before we had that conflict, and I tried to learn to share the gospel in cantonese. I even photocopied John 3:16 in cantonese to here and she ended up sharing the meaning of it with me! But nothing changed her mind.

There's a lot to learn from that. First, our efforts, no matter how well intentioned, even our most fervent prayers, will not equal a salvation. People are not saved by your efforts or even your prayers alone; a person must be willing to choose God.

Second, there is a lot we don't know. I found myself looking at books about near-death experiences a lot after she died. It helped a little to know that there was something after death. But even though I have been a christian a long time I have to realise that there is a lot I don't know about what happens after we die, specifically. I do know I will go to heaven, if I remain in the grace of God. I also know that I cannot earn heaven or lose heaven by what I do, but if I choose to reject God's grace then he'll let me have his way. But I can't tell you what it looks like, feels like, etc. because I haven't been there. i can also say that I don't know the heart of my grandmother the way God does. He knows her sins and that even the best person has sin in their heart. And that sin is a disease that he cannot compromise on, even though he loves us. I only know a smidgen of the mistakes she made and I know there are some deep secrets that dies with her. But they were there, and God had a way out for them. But she had to choose God to be free.

Third, the death of a loved one who didn't choose Christ is not a lance throught the heart of my faith. It can be if I so chose it to affect me in that way. There were the questions of "Why did God let such a good woman die?" There are no easy answers. My thoughts are that she made her choice and that God made this world such that he would not interfere with that choice. He wants us to come to Him willingly, and only when we do that are we truly His. He cannot force us, and the concept of choice means there is a risk that we may reject him in finishing this life, and so reject Him for eternity.

My faith in God is as strong as ever. I know because his Spirit lives in me and I know God as personal and loving and he never fails to show me that love intimately. And that presence of God confirms what God's words have said as true. I cannot understand the death of my grandmother completely. But when I have a close relationship with the God whose love has earned my trust to the core, I will trust him completely knowing that what happened was in His character and that it is in good hands.

I cannot tell what it will be like in heaven while my grandmother is in hell, only that the loss of her and the far greater wholeness in God's love will both somehow be there. I can't fathom that any more than a 2-D line can fathom a 3-D world. But I know personally that God loves me and I trust Him completely in this matter and that overrides anything I don't have an answer for.

blessings,

RF <><

 

[xjonx]

I believe the consequences of rejecting Jesus are eternal. I believe our loving God, our loving Just Merciful Holy God, our God who loves us, love..... He will end pain, end torment, and I believe He has shown us this truth through His word.

There is no mention of eternal pain in hell.
There are only 6 times the word &#8216;eternal&#8217; is used without reference to persons or things:

1. Hebrews 5:9 &#8220;&#8230; eternal salvation&#8230; &#8220;
2. Hebrews 9:12 &#8220;&#8230; eternal redemption&#8230; &#8221;
3. Hebrews 6:2 &#8220;&#8230; eternal judgment&#8230; &#8220;
4. Mark 3:29 &#8220;&#8230; eternal condemnation&#8230; &#8220;
5. Matthew 25:46 &#8220;&#8230; eternal punishment&#8230; &#8220;
6. II Thessalonians 1:9 &#8220;&#8230; eternal destruction&#8230; &#8220;

These 6 verses all have to do with the final judgment and its outcome. There is no mention of eternal pain. The consequence of choosing salvation is eternal the same as the consequence of choosing against it is eternal.


The soul is mortal

Firstly, souls die:
7. Ezekiel 18:4 &#8220;&#8230; The soul who sins shall die&#8220;
8. Revelation 16:3 &#8220;&#8230; every living soul died&#8221;

Secondly, humans are created mortal:
9. Romans 2:7 &#8220;&#8230; seek for&#8230; immortality&#8221;
10. I Corinthians 15:51-55 &#8220;&#8230; this mortal must put on immortality.&#8221;

Thirdly, animals are souls:
11. Genesis 2:19 (The Hebrew word for &#8216;soul&#8217; can also be translated &#8216;living creature&#8217
12. Genesis 9:10, 12 (Both animals and humans are described the same way)


There will be no more pain

13. Revelation 21:4 &#8220;And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying; and there shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.&#8221;
14. Revelation 20:14 &#8220;Then Death and Hades were cast into the lake of fire&#8230; &#8221;
15. Daniel 2:35 &#8220;&#8230;the wind carried them away so that no trace of them was found&#8230;&#8221; (Refering to selfish kingdoms and sin)

Unending torment

If hell is unending torment, the following must also be believed:
i. The soul is immortal
ii. Man must exist, he cannot cease to be
iii. The whole time in heaven, there will be people suffering
iv. Eternal pain without purpose



A. &#8216;Unquenchable&#8217; fire means &#8216;no-one can interrupt the process&#8217; of burning. Thus, the fire will not &#8220;be quenched&#8221; (Mark 9:43-46 ) but turn its matter into ash.

B. As Sodom, Gomorrah, Jerusalem and Edom are not still burning, &#8216;eternal fire&#8217; can only be defined as &#8216;eternal in its results&#8217;, not &#8216;eternal in its process&#8217; (Jude 7, Jeremiah 17:27, Isaiah 34:9-10).

C. Forever means &#8216;to the vanishing point&#8217; (Exodus 12:24, Exodus 40:15, Leviticus 3:17, Dueteronomy 15:17, I Kings 8:12-13, II Kings 5:27, Revelation 19:3).

D. The wicked will perish.

E. There is no mention in the whole bible of eternal pain.

F. The human soul is mortal.

G. Sheol literally means &#8216;abode of the dead&#8217; or &#8216;the grave&#8217; or &#8216;Hades&#8217;. Hades is another word for the grave.

H. There will be no more pain.

I. To believe there is unending torment forces one to believe in many dreadful things such as man not having the choice to exist, God allowing pain without purpose and our eternal existance will never be free of suffering.



God is for us! Jesus became sin for us. God will one day put an end to all suffering and evil. God must rid of all that brings pain and ruin and because He is love, He will not prolong that process a moment longer than He has good purpose.

 

[food4thought]

 We know we won't be mourning in heaven
 
And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.
Revelation 7:17
 
 
And, as Christians, we really have to consider who our REAL family is (as hard as this might seem to realize right now). But read what Jesus said:
 
20Someone told him, "Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to see you." 
21He replied, "My mother and brothers are those who hear God's word and put it into practice." 
Luke 8:20-21
 
Finally, we love Christ far more than our earthly family/friends/etc (afterall, He DID create us. Apart from Him, we are not)
 
"If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters–yes, even his own life–he cannot be my disciple. 
Luke 14:26

What he said...

I would only add that there is a distinction to be made between happiness- which God does not promise us- and joy, which is promised to all believers. Happiness is based upon my emotions and temporary circumstances, but joy is based upon a settled state of the heart and soul. Hope that helps a little.

 

[Asar'el]

For me, I suppose the answer seems simple; why is this only relevant 'when in heaven'?

How do you feel now, on earth, when you loose someone? Or, worse, when a loved one dies unrepentant, an unbeliever?

So .. does your sadness drive you to despair? Do you know no joy at all because of something sad that happened in the past?

A loved one dies... a new child is born. A friend is lost ... a new one is gained.

New joy can (and, thankfuly, does!) allow us to get over past sorrow.

Now... consider the joy of heaven. If earthly joy can do this much ... what will being with the Lord do for you ?

 

[Meche]

Even though I wish it weren't so, I think once you die, you probably loose all your earthly relationships..
I've thought about this before too..
What if you truly love someone, but they love someone else?
For you, happiness would be spending eternity with that person.
But that woulnd't be heaven for them.

So.. I think it must be that you either don't remember or are in a higher state of consciousness or whatever.. but you that relationship doesn't mean what it did in life.
It's been hard for me to come to that conclusion, because I can't imagine spending eternity without my fiance.. At this point, I can't even fathom it..
But there are so many things we don't understand, and simply can't.
I think this is one of them.

 

[Asar'el]

Even though I wish it weren't so, I think once you die, you probably loose all your earthly relationships..
I've thought about this before too..
What if you truly love someone, but they love someone else?
For you, happiness would be spending eternity with that person.
But that woulnd't be heaven for them.

So.. I think it must be that you either don't remember or are in a higher state of consciousness or whatever.. but you that relationship doesn't mean what it did in life.
It's been hard for me to come to that conclusion, because I can't imagine spending eternity without my fiance.. At this point, I can't even fathom it..
But there are so many things we don't understand, and simply can't.
I think this is one of them.

What does the scripture say about anyone who loves anyone (or anything) (other than God) more than God?

I love my wife very much - but in no way do I believe that I will forget her, or our love, in heaven. Rather I know God's gift of her to me on Earth will be made perfect by her also in heaven with the Lord.