• Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.

  • CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.
  • We hope the site problems here are now solved, however, if you still have any issues, please start a ticket in Contact Us

Sascha Fitzpatrick

Well-Known Member
Apr 29, 2004
6,534
470
✟9,123.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
1 Corinthians 13 is my 'benchmark' of love. If I say I 'love' someone, and what I mean does not match up with what that verse says, then I have a pretty good indication that I don't, in fact' love that person.

Am I patient with this person?
Am I kind to this person?
Am I gentle with this person?
Am I unselfish with this person? Ie not manipulating them to get my way, put their needs above my own, etc etc.
Have I resolved all my issues with their past (ie that 'love keeps no record of wrong' part), and keep it out of arguments/discussions?
Am I envious of this person/their old relationships, etc etc?
Am I humble towards this person?
Am I using this person to up my 'status' to those around me?
Do I continually nag this person?
Do I like to beat this person in an argument, regardless of the cost?
Would I rather this person tell me 'nice things', instead of the truth?
Would I rather have things be pleasant between us, instead of honest?
Am I always looking out for the best for this person, even if that means our relationship has to end?

They're my benchmark questions, when I ask myself if I 'love' this person. All of them are based around Corinthians, and I wouldn't ever resort to another technique to find out.

I then like to put my name in the place of 'love' and see if that matches up. If not, then I know that's an area I have to work on, and start working on it immediately.

For example, I'm HIGHLY competitive, and often this can cause my relationships to suffer as a result. It's a continual work in process for me, to make sure I can get my point across, without causing pain to the other person, or making them feel stupid because their opinion does not match with mine. I'm still working on this!

Anyway, there's my little take on 'love'.

Sasch
 
Upvote 0

red_head_4ever

Red Fire for God<img src="http://www3.christianfor
Feb 19, 2005
401
17
37
Oregon City
✟23,127.00
Faith
Pentecostal
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Republican
Well there's the verse in the bible that says it all, :). But even more so, I feel that love, REAL love, is something you only want when you know it's God that gave it to you, cause then you don't have to worry about it being right or not, and when it does come and you know it's Gods will, then you hold onto it will all you've got.
 
Upvote 0
W

Wakeup2god

Guest
My take on love...

It seems amid these days of quick fixes and fast remedies that even the most important things are cheapened. Young people especially are so eager to give their hearts away. True love does not take things for granted but it seems that ‘love’ is being taken for granted. We simply ‘fall in love’ instead of building and growing our love. Then, all of a sudden ‘LOVE’ turns to ‘LUV’ and it suddenly looses it’s value. Luv has no foundation. Only when you’ve tasted true love’ can you give LOVE.
DEAR LUV


I once had love or at least I thought I did, but anyway, love was never true and it turned into luv in the end. Love caught my eye the first sight I had of it, and I fell ‘IN LOVE’. Love was all I wanted back then and it seemed I was all it wanted. It didn’t matter what baggage love had in tow. It looked good, it felt good, love was blind and so was I. I clung to love and cherished it but never really new what love was made up of or what it needed, but I loved love non the less. Love and I grew together over years. Loves baggage grew also, some of which I let love carry while other parts I took on as my own. Love was my treasure and I feared loosing it but love liked to be loved by others. Love liked to be told how lovely it was and love liked to be needed and desired.

At first love was hot and passionate, it wanted just me. I wanted to give love my all but love wanted more than I could give. Love could hurt so much but I still wanted love. Love could cut like a knife or love could hold back itself. Love grew hard and cold. One rule for love and one for me. Love sought acceptance in the world, I sought love. The less love gave of itself to me the more I wanted love for myself, but love wanted to be free from commitment. Love wasn’t the same anymore. I found that the love I knew wasn’t true. It didn’t want for better or worse, it just wanted greener grass. Love finally pushed me away and went from grass to grass that was never greener. Love sent a letter signed ‘LUV’ then I knew love had gone.

I laid my broken heart down to die and woke to find that ‘TRUE LOVE’ had taken the place of luv, and as I grew to know True Love I felt pity for luv for it was nothing in comparison. This True Love is patient and kind. It doesn’t envy or boast. It isn’t proud or rude, or self seeking. It isn’t easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. True Love doesn’t delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, it always perseveres. This True Love never fails.



True Love desires only one thing, to be one with me whilst luv lies weeping alone…..



Yours truly
LOVE….
 
Upvote 0

gizmo03

Hopeless Dreamer
Aug 17, 2004
1,141
38
41
Ohio
✟24,018.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
In Relationship
Politics
US-Others
I am at a point where I am ready for that person to come along and fall in love with them. I know I may be only 20 and still have plenty of time, but everything I want to accomplish enough involves being in love and having a family of my own.

But I am also giving it to God and waiting till He brings someone in my life. But there is a guy that I go to church with that even though not knowing him all that well but I could see something being there. I haven't built enough courage to talk long enough, only really spoke to him a few times when we either say by each other or behind one another. He's very talented, plays in the orchresta at church and even though this is never a factor in my preferences, but he is very gorgeous!!

And really there only reason I am so drawn to him without knowing much about him, just a feeling I get whenever I see him, a feeling I have never felt and its undescribable. I have also had here lately a very bad attitude towards men because of previous experience, but all that just fades away. But I am not planning on jumping at anything, want something if anything does happen to last.

Sorry for my rambling, just saw this thread and went loose!! :)
 
Upvote 0

HelpingHand

This Girl has a name
Dec 21, 2003
470
71
37
Fox city, Georgia
Visit site
✟985.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Republican
red_head_4ever said:
Well there's the verse in the bible that says it all, :). But even more so, I feel that love, REAL love, is something you only want when you know it's God that gave it to you, cause then you don't have to worry about it being right or not, and when it does come and you know it's Gods will, then you hold onto it will all you've got.


Wow you put your finger right on it! When I had my first "crush" and fell from it....well I gave God my heart, that only He could turn it on an off in 'love'. I never had a crush again, and now, I know I'm in love.....I ran from it for a very long time, and I know I'm only 16, but there isn't much I can say. I wasn't looking for it, and I was so scared when I realized that all those things Sascha listed took place in my heart for him....I ran like crazy, I didn't even know how he felt. We were just friends, and one day it was like WHAM!!! I knew that he wasn't just another guy, he was now someone that I wanted to take care of, wanted to be around all the time, wanted to share my life with, raise a family with, etc.......*dramatic sigh* Love is great, but it can be way confusing, and hurt really bad.....I have felt all of that so far.

Love for me is something only God can turn on, and only He can turn off.... Just as Sascha was saying..... I don't have any examples that are good for me to follow in love, and then I found that I should do what I always do when I don't know what to do.... Look to Jesus... He is my example....
 
Upvote 0