Lost the Fear

[Weathering Storms]

Several years ago, just the thought of going before the Father made me tremble. But in a good way. I mean, it was fear, but Godly fear, and I loved it.

In 2011, I had major surgery. The tumors on both ovaries turned out to be benign (thank You, Father God). But it took me more than 6 months to work my way out of the brain fog that accompanies surgery sometimes. I have no recollection of Halloween, Christmas, or Easter during that time. I developed fibromyalgia, and was on pain meds for years for it. God cured my fibromyalgia in 2016.

But the one thing that has never recovered is my spiritual fervor. It's like the surgery caused me to go numb to God. I feel nothing - no fear or excitement or anything - when I think of coming before God. I do have MDD, Major Depressive Disorder, as a result of a chromosomal abnormality. But it is, for the most part, controlled by prayer and meds.

So how do I get the fear of the Lord back? How do I stoke the fire in me? I pray, and study scripture. I go to church, I help others. I do all the things I was doing before. And it's funny - I still hear God's still, small voice, I still love to obey Him, especially when it's something hard, like approaching a stranger and asking what they need prayer for.

This is the part of the "marriage" where the puppy-love, passion, excitement, etc. dies down, and the work of making a marriage work begins. Anyone married more than a few years knows what I'm talking about. It's when you discover that Love is a decision, not a feeling.

But I want the fear back. I don't think I'm seeing God correctly. How do I get the holy fear of God back? The awe, the shock, the "being floored" by just the idea of His glory?

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

He Will Train you in this, and to ignore feelings and emotions, at least to not follow them anyway.

In the resurrection life of Jesus, He Will Gradually Train you to control your soul and your body by your spirit subject to Him in all things, if you are willing, all according to His Word.

 

[Basil the Great]

This has been a week here on C.F. unusual threads and yours is another. I dare that that not many Christians seek to have the fear of God in their lives, perhaps we all should? How do you get the fear of God back? I suppose the best way might be to read the words of Jesus when He talks about few finding the narrow way of life, implying that perhaps few will make it to Heaven. If you wish to go deeper, you could read about about some of the Catholic saints who have had visions of Hell and one I recall claims to have had a dream or a vision which said like 1,000 or 10,000 died around the world last night and only 7 or so were saved. I personally do not like to read up on these visions of a terrible Hell, but if you are really seeking the fear of God, that might well do it.....

 

[Rescued One]

Pray this prayer:

Psalm 51
10Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
11Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.
12Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.

And praise the Lord every day (and mean it).

 

[Anguspure]

Several years ago, just the thought of going before the Father made me tremble. But in a good way. I mean, it was fear, but Godly fear, and I loved it.

In 2011, I had major surgery. The tumors on both ovaries turned out to be benign (thank You, Father God). But it took me more than 6 months to work my way out of the brain fog that accompanies surgery sometimes. I have no recollection of Halloween, Christmas, or Easter during that time. I developed fibromyalgia, and was on pain meds for years for it. God cured my fibromyalgia in 2016.

But the one thing that has never recovered is my spiritual fervor. It's like the surgery caused me to go numb to God. I feel nothing - no fear or excitement or anything - when I think of coming before God. I do have MDD, Major Depressive Disorder, as a result of a chromosomal abnormality. But it is, for the most part, controlled by prayer and meds.

So how do I get the fear of the Lord back? How do I stoke the fire in me? I pray, and study scripture. I go to church, I help others. I do all the things I was doing before. And it's funny - I still hear God's still, small voice, I still love to obey Him, especially when it's something hard, like approaching a stranger and asking what they need prayer for.

This is the part of the "marriage" where the puppy-love, passion, excitement, etc. dies down, and the work of making a marriage work begins. Anyone married more than a few years knows what I'm talking about. It's when you discover that Love is a decision, not a feeling.

But I want the fear back. I don't think I'm seeing God correctly. How do I get the holy fear of God back? The awe, the shock, the "being floored" by just the idea of His glory?

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. (1 John 4)
Times and seasons, the season for fear has passed. Now it is time to find rest in His perfect Love.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

I do have MDD, Major Depressive Disorder, as a result of a chromosomal abnormality. But it is, for the most part, controlled by prayer and meds.

There are some international companies that offer help, but we cannot publish their information on this site. (and/or it is not wise nor good to do so)

 

[Weathering Storms]

This has been a week here on C.F. unusual threads and yours is another. I dare that that not many Christians seek to have the fear of God in their lives, perhaps we all should? How do you get the fear of God back? I suppose the best way might be to read the words of Jesus when He talks about few finding the narrow way of life, implying that perhaps few will make it to Heaven. If you wish to go deeper, you could read about about some of the Catholic saints who have had visions of Hell and one I recall claims to have had a dream or a vision which said like 1,000 or 10,000 died around the world last night and only 7 or so were saved. I personally do not like to read up on these visions of a terrible Hell, but if you are really seeking the fear of God, that might well do it.....

I have no fear of hell. I know it is not somewhere I will ever see.

I guess I've worded it all wrong. It isn't the "Oh, crud, I'm gonna get hurt" fear.

It's the holy awe, the at least somewhat understanding of just how big, and how all-encompassing, God is. I know God is not going to splat me. But I want to have a more accurate reaction to WHO HE IS. I used to have that. Now I don't. It's frustrating.