lost, lonely, and scared

[DawnMarie]

Well, thank you very much for those of you praying with me. I really appreciate the time and thoughtfullness.

I'm just lost in bills, taxes money issues. I'm staying at home with my little one. Can't afford day care...wouldn't really make more....i'd just pay the daycare. My little one has been with me since day 1. We're pretty much inseperable. Good thing. I don't have any sitters. She's having a hard time leaving me for 4 hours a week for preschool.

Husband isn't a Christian. Won't help with anything financial...unless it's spending. I'm left holding the checkbook with no input about spending. We're so behind...I'm so scared. I don't know what to do. Mother says ask husband. Husband says don't nag me. I say: Will anyone help me? I guess not. I'm sure I'm supposed to be learning something here. I just feel like I'm learning the world runs on money, and I'm on my own for resources and ideas with no assistance with my childrearing. I'm pretty much knee-deep in the woe is me.

I want my husband to be a Christian. I want to feel supported. I feel all alone with my little one watching me cry out of frustration and desperation. The little sweetheart is drowning me in drawings and crafts meant to cheer me up. I'm trying to figure out taxes (Lord help me! I'm probaby going to jail over these taxes! I have no idea what I'm doing.) and figure out how to pay the bills without getting the house taken away, the electricity or heat turned off.

I just want to grab my baby and run away from all of this burden that I can't make right by myself. Sigh.

Please pray for us.

 

[Suzannah]

Well, thank you very much for those of you praying with me. I really appreciate the time and thoughtfullness.

I'm just lost in bills, taxes money issues. I'm staying at home with my little one. Can't afford day care...wouldn't really make more....i'd just pay the daycare. My little one has been with me since day 1. We're pretty much inseperable. Good thing. I don't have any sitters. She's having a hard time leaving me for 4 hours a week for preschool.

Husband isn't a Christian. Won't help with anything financial...unless it's spending. I'm left holding the checkbook with no input about spending. We're so behind...I'm so scared. I don't know what to do. Mother says ask husband. Husband says don't nag me. I say: Will anyone help me? I guess not. I'm sure I'm supposed to be learning something here. I just feel like I'm learning the world runs on money, and I'm on my own for resources and ideas with no assistance with my childrearing. I'm pretty much knee-deep in the woe is me.

I want my husband to be a Christian. I want to feel supported. I feel all alone with my little one watching me cry out of frustration and desperation. The little sweetheart is drowning me in drawings and crafts meant to cheer me up. I'm trying to figure out taxes (Lord help me! I'm probaby going to jail over these taxes! I have no idea what I'm doing.) and figure out how to pay the bills without getting the house taken away, the electricity or heat turned off.

I just want to grab my baby and run away from all of this burden that I can't make right by myself. Sigh.

Please pray for us.

Wow, that is a lot to handle....I am praying for you right now.

All of your feelings are what anyone in your situation would feel. As for wht you're learning: I would say you are learning how people in this situation feel and how discouraging it is....contrast that with this: many people in your situation do not have Jesus...you do! Have pity on those who at the very least do not have Him. Store this experience in the memory of your heart, because after it passes, you will be faced with another human being with these problems and your compassion on them will be very important to them....Realize that this will pass, as all things do. I don't mean to sound "new age" about this, but the Lord can use our experiences, even our despair for GOOD! I will keep praying for you that your husband will get a grip, that you will be able to bear all this with Grace and that your family will come out of this as a Christian family unified in Christ.

Love,
Suzannah

 

[DawnMarie]

Thank you Suzannah. Your love helps my heart.

I need to add that in all of this turmoil, my little one just came up to me and said she wished I made all my time for her. That's what I try to do, and I'm always waylaid by the finances and taxes, and now even prayers. I just feel so broken. So tired. I need a lift and direction.

Lord, please bring me support in some way. Or guidance of which way to turn.

 

[cleaveun2him]

It indeed sounds like you are feeling overwhelmed. If your husband has abducted his responsibility for paying bills to you, then perhaps seeking hekp with budgeting would help. Seek one or more of the very good books about money management that are available at your public library. You could also find a guide on how to prepare your taxes at the library. Call your local social services department and ask if there are going to be any free or low cost tax preparation being offered in your area. Another good resource would be your pastor or priest, ask them for either direct assistance or guidance on whom you can ask or consult with on these matters.

I will of course also keep you in my prayers.

 

[Suzannah]

Thank you Suzannah. Your love helps my heart.

I need to add that in all of this turmoil, my little one just came up to me and said she wished I made all my time for her. That's what I try to do, and I'm always waylaid by the finances and taxes, and now even prayers. I just feel so broken. So tired. I need a lift and direction.

Lord, please bring me support in some way. Or guidance of which way to turn.

LOL about your little one...they don't change even after they become "big ones". They still want all your time!
I do know how it is...I was a single mother for a long time...I hope that you will find something else to do today besides all this work...perhaps the park? perhaps the merry go round somewhere, if there is one or something like that?
Get out of the house.
The tax man will have to wait....you need a little time...
And you deserve it.

 

[Matrona]

I'll keep you in my prayers, Dawn Marie.

 

[GMRELIC]

My prayers are with you and your family, May God Bless you

 

[Cat59]

for you Dawn Marie
Keeping on praying that the Lord will send you help and guidance, and some time for yourself to rest

Cat

 

[Toney]

I join Cat in prayer for you Dawn Marie. God bless you.

 

[ab1385]

DawnMarie,

I am deeply humbled that even through all of this you thought to pray for me.

I pray that God will draw close to you in your hour of need. I pray you will feel His presence, His reassurance and His love. I pray that He will provide for you and guide you in your current problems.

I pray that your husband will come to know Christ, and will come to know the salvation that is offered to Him. I pray that He would learn to live out the christian life, and that your marriage would greatly benefit from this.

May the Lord strengthen you and be with you always.

Alex.

PS, Im really not sure of anything of how taxes work, but this website may help to explain a few things.

http://www.tax-advice.qck.com/

If you need help with a specific thing, such as income tax return forms, then http://www.google.co.uk is your friend, type in "income tax return" for example, and it will come up with some helpful answers.

Im sorry I can't offer any more practical help on the subject!

 

[WashedClean]

Well, thank you very much for those of you praying with me. I really appreciate the time and thoughtfullness.

I'm just lost in bills, taxes money issues. I'm staying at home with my little one. Can't afford day care...wouldn't really make more....i'd just pay the daycare. My little one has been with me since day 1. We're pretty much inseperable. Good thing. I don't have any sitters. She's having a hard time leaving me for 4 hours a week for preschool.

Husband isn't a Christian. Won't help with anything financial...unless it's spending. I'm left holding the checkbook with no input about spending. We're so behind...I'm so scared. I don't know what to do. Mother says ask husband. Husband says don't nag me. I say: Will anyone help me? I guess not. I'm sure I'm supposed to be learning something here. I just feel like I'm learning the world runs on money, and I'm on my own for resources and ideas with no assistance with my childrearing. I'm pretty much knee-deep in the woe is me.

I want my husband to be a Christian. I want to feel supported. I feel all alone with my little one watching me cry out of frustration and desperation. The little sweetheart is drowning me in drawings and crafts meant to cheer me up. I'm trying to figure out taxes (Lord help me! I'm probaby going to jail over these taxes! I have no idea what I'm doing.) and figure out how to pay the bills without getting the house taken away, the electricity or heat turned off.

I just want to grab my baby and run away from all of this burden that I can't make right by myself. Sigh.

Please pray for us.

DawnMarie,

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Here is a big hug for you

Do you have a church that can support you, physically, emotionally, spiritually and financially? I'm reminded of that passage that talks about all of the believers selling their goods and helping each other out. We really need to do that for each other.

I can totally relate about your husband not being a believer. I'm in the same situation. If you are interested, there is a sub-forum to this marriage forum for "unequally yoked" marriages/relationships. The board has been a little quiet lately, but we love to support each other and take prayer requests. Please join us.

I will pray for you and your marriage. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate. Just pray for the Lord to give you strength and find a way. He will never leave you nor forsake you.

Love in Christ,

WashedClean

 

[DawnMarie]

I thank all of you. You've been a true force of support in this mess.

I do have tax software that's supposed to make everything easier. Chuckle. Not so sure about that right now. I'll keep the website info. Thank you for that.

I do have a church, but I wouldn't feel right about asking for help when the biggest problem is: my husband smokes two packs a day, and it costs us about $70 a week. If he'd quit...we'd be okay. I've been begging him for three years to quit. He's heard enough of it. No more discussions on that topic. He does work hard. He's got an x-wife with two children that get $850 a month in child support. Ouch. He also has a mandatory retirement plan that takes almost that much. After we pay taxes, the three of us live on a net of $25,000 a year. His gross in twice that. It just doesn't add up. People who supposedly earn $50,000 a year don't get "support" from anyone else. We're the exception. There's nothing we can do. We're falling through the cracks. I just try to remember that in another year (if we can just hold on until then) I can go back to work when Nikki starts 1st grade. I've been scraping by for four-and-a-half years. I'm getting weary of the stress of being poor. The phone is ringing off the hook with bill collectors. Maybe I should let the phone get disconnected?!! Ha! But then I'll lose you guys, too.

Through it all, I'm reaching out to those around me (mother/husband) for some advice or assistane, or even emotional support...and my arm is tired of being stuck out there with nothing to hold onto. Thank heavens my little girl has her arms tightly wrapped around my neck to keep me grounded. Otherwise, I think I'd be out of this marriage. I'm sure the guilt would shortly follow for breaking my daughter's home.

I guess I came to the right place. I feel like, at least I'm stuck back together with Elmer's Glue. If it doesn't rain real hard, I should stick together for awhile.

Thank you, prayer warriors!

 

[Suzannah]

I'm still praying for you DawnMarie....Thanks for the update. I hope you know that people CF really do care about your troubles...
Love,
Suzannah

 

[notofthisworld]

Hello DawnMarie having been through hard times i just want to try to assure you that our GOD is faithful to his promises to supply all your needs. i know it's so hard not to worry when you can't see a way out. something GOD taught me was to say what do i need right as this moment, and that has always helped me. i could see that moment by moment he provides our needs. try to rest in his care and not worry, he will provide. i thought these verses might bring you some comfort Luke 12 verse 32 and isaiah 40 verse 11. it's hard to imagine that with how much we love our children, more than we can express in words, that he loves us more than a mother loves her child. unfathomable love!!

 

[ZiSunka]

Dawn Marie, I never do this, but God has just put on my heart to tell you that He wants you to stop paying the bills and let your husband have complete control of the checkbook. He says for you to hand over the checkbook to him and walk away and if bills don't get paid they don't get paid, not to worry about it. He wants you to let your husband take all the burden of the money, and for you to let go and rest in the knowledge that this is God's will for you. It is by submitting, even when you don't want to, that your husband will be saved. I know it sounds funny, and God seldom if ever gives me messages to give to others, but while I was reading and praying about your problem, the Spirit came over me and asked me to tell you. I'm not one to ever speak for the Spirit, and I'm more than a little fearful to do so now, but I feel impressed upon to speak these words to you now. "Let your husband be the husband and stop making the burden too light for him. Some men need a heavy burden to make them feel responsible and manly. By taking on all the burden by yourself, you are weakening your husband and ruining your marriage. Give him the bills and let Me take over from here."

 

[Laserman]

Dawn Marie,

I will pray for you. One thing I've learned being a Christian; Try to trust the Lord and expect Him to do great and mighty things for you. Live in expectation of blessing then go out each day and live it out. He will be faithful. Be strong, we are concerned and praying for you. You are not alone anymore.

Barry

 

[DawnMarie]

I'm shocked to say that you've brought tears of relief to my eyes for a moment. Must be composed in front of my little one, though. Big hugs go out to you. I finally feel like someone's hand took mine...I've been holding it out for such a long time. The Lord has finally shown me the way to open hearts.

As for handing over the bills...I've tried. Let them go on until the shut-off notices came. He won't pay them. He said he'll just move. He said yesterday that if he does that, there's no reason to keep me. That was a shocker. He said, "I fixed the roof, I go to work... if I pay the bills...what are you here for?" I must say that shocked me, too. I wasn't very nice in reply. I said, "I'll bet you're probably raising your own children, keeping your own house, buying your own groceries, cooking your own meals, washing your own clothes, cutting your own grass, doing your own taxes, painting your own house, balancing the checkbook...well, geeze...I must be rich, too. So THIS is living large? Huh." I just don't like him sometimes. Usually he's just negligent and absent...not offensive beyond belief. I wonder why I think I'm doing everything, and he thinks he's doing everything. Hey! And I fixed half of the roof. Humph. Sometimes I think he has no idea what it's like to live with a 4 year old attached to your hip. Let alone all the other stuff along with that.

I know he needs to find the Lord. If he were a Christian, I wouldn't be expected to do everything but go to work. Right now that sounds like the easiest. The neighbors tease me for cutting the grass, and painting the house (in good weather) while my husband watches TV or goes to his friends to play video games. And some stuff I just can't do...like getting up on a ladder when Nikki is outside. What if I fell? I can't leave her responsible for "taking care of me" in an emergency. I'm supposed to take care of her.

Sorry...I'm ranting. Please pray that I'm supported. I want emotional and financial support while I raise my baby. I've worked all my life, and I've never been this poor until I put the responsibility into some else's hands. Raising my baby is my priority...knowing they won't take my baby's house away is very important, too. I'm desperately wanting to feel supported and unafraid.

You fellow Christians are helping by leaps and bounds. Please remember me and Nikki.

I'm sending you all LOVE and prayers. Thank you.

PS: Nikki is having dreams that sea turtles are attacking her and I was right there and didn't help. I told her that would NEVER happen. I'd fight a grizzly bear if I had to--to keep her safe. I'm afraid my doing taxes, and fixing houses, and doing dishes and cooking, etc. is making her feel neglected. Please pray for my little angel, too.

Sorry we're such a mess.

 

[goodgirl]

ohhh first of all I'll be praying hard for you and your little girl...
my dad was kinda like the man you describe, and abusive too. What finally worked for us is that my mom left him. It was hard but it worked... by that time we were financially ruined but it's been getting slightly better every year since. I'm not advising you to do it... just telling you what worked for our family.

Have you talked to your creditors? I mean really told them what's going on. I know it sounds bizarre but when I've had major money difficulties I found them more human than not Perhaps if you told them the problem and everything you're doing to try and fix it, even down to the part where $70 a month would make a difference, you'll find mercy. Believe me -- I know at the point where you are now, even a little less stress would make a huge difference.

Finally, GO TO YOUR CHURCH for help! So what that your husband wastes money? I really think you should be up front about it and take whatever help you and your child can get.

 

[CindyAnn]

praying!

 

[devoted daughter]

Ill be praying for you