Lost friends

[Servant991]

Since I have renewed my faith in Jesus Christ, I have been working to change my life. And as such, I am finding more and more that I have less and less common interests with my friends. Have any of you experienced this? I value my friends, but it is hard to be around them, since we have such conflicting viewpoints. If you have experienced this, what did you do?

 

[Red Chief]

i have been there, but my problem havent gone too large, because i dont have much of friends, (i dont know is that a good or bad thing)but
i have told to my Closest Friends that i Believe in Jesus, like for Real, it Kinda Puts people Silent, i wish i could read their toughs so i could find the Words,(to smack the truth infront of them)Hey that wuz a poem.
and i also have "walked throught the valley of the shadow of death", in the meaning when people surround me (like in my Class-room, at Trade-School) just live for the moment, most of them obviously are looking for that something =>Wich is JESUS, and im all alone in "the Valley" and i dont know what should i do, but
it`s good that im like the "Boss" to my "Closest" Friends, and they respect me and dont start pushing me, about my faith. example:
one day i were at TradeSchool and we were watching some Movie called: TrainsPotting=>it`s a traditional self-destruction "Comedy".<=World likes them.
and when the movie was over, evryone had to give a Grade to the film, from 4 to 10, so others were shouting out 9 and a half, but when it wuz me turn i shouted 5/10, it wuz the worst score, AND there I wuz Thinging about what the Others think when i didint like this "Traditional Comedy"
that Film sure describes World, i could almost smell the death ...
but a good thing is that i have 2 little brothers, and they actually are my real-best friend, and i hope you find sum Comforting answers from this place,
Jesus BleZ Ya!

 

[Echoes Peak]

Since I have renewed my faith in Jesus Christ, I have been working to change my life. And as such, I am finding more and more that I have less and less common interests with my friends. Have any of you experienced this? I value my friends, but it is hard to be around them, since we have such conflicting viewpoints. If you have experienced this, what did you do?

Yep. Some friends I just don't hang around as much anymore. I have found that if something is going to be a stumbling block to my walk with Christ, then I have to let it go. Now, in saying that, in no way was it easy, but it just became a natural progression. As time went on, I just wasn't interested in the same activities as certain people were and I knew they would be partaking in things that I just didn't enjoy so I slowly chose to not to hang out with them in the capacity. But the thing is, just as you "lose" old friends, you will indeed make more friends. You will find other people, whether through church, school, work or whatever, that may be more spiritually in tune with you. I believe that is why we are called a body of believers-we are there to support, encourage and uplift one other. If your friends are your friends, then they will respect the choices that you have made in regards to your faith. If they can not do that, then, they really aren't worth hanging around with anyways. God Bless

 

[Bartimaeus]

Yep. Some friends I just don't hang around as much anymore. I have found that if something is going to be a stumbling block to my walk with Christ, then I have to let it go. Now, in saying that, in no way was it easy, but it just became a natural progression. As time went on, I just wasn't interested in the same activities as certain people were and I knew they would be partaking in things that I just didn't enjoy so I slowly chose to not to hang out with them in the capacity. But the thing is, just as you "lose" old friends, you will indeed make more friends. You will find other people, whether through church, school, work or whatever, that may be more spiritually in tune with you. I believe that is why we are called a body of believers-we are there to support, encourage and uplift one other. If your friends are your friends, then they will respect the choices that you have made in regards to your faith. If they can not do that, then, they really aren't worth hanging around with anyways. God Bless

You put it very well. God won't leave anyone lonely. He (and anyone else) will find the right friends at the right time.

 

[quiet^one]

Hey Servant991,

I totally have been where you are. It came down to me giving up a lot of friends. It was incredibly hard to do, some of the relationships have been there for years, but I know that I needed to focus on God, and there was too much temptation and a lot of the things that were being done were pulling me away from Him. So I prayed and asked the Lord to bring me new friends that could encourage me, and love me for who I am, and I am thankful for what he is done. It is not easy, but it is worth it in the end!
Blessings,
Quiet^One

 

[swordsman]

I've been there too...and whilst you lose friends because of your faith in Christ, God also can PROVIDE you with new friends. I hope that your buddies can accept you for who you are, and you can do likewise to them, without judgement. I'm sure you have maximum respect for your friends and that's cool, but Jesus remains number one!

Let me tell you of my experience...I decided to visit europe for the first time 2 years ago, to visit family that I never met, in germany, austria and sweden. I mentioned to all the people there that I was Christian (all of our relatives are Serbian Orthodox, except for our family living here in Australia...my parents are baptist, and I attend a pentecostal church). I spent my some time in Germany to see one of my cousins. we got along fine at first, but when I told her that I was Christian, she didn't look at me in such a loving way, and called me crazy, I felt the ice building on the shoulders and she didn't even see me off when I left.

the rest of my family in other parts of europe accepted me for who I was. they said: ok matt, you're a Christian, I'm Orthodox, and I love you still!

you wouldn't believe how happy I was to hear that, being accepted by a non-christian, but it has occured to me, that some of my cousins have hated Jesus already before hating me. some of them hate me all because I talk about Jesus, and that is very unfortunate. If I had the chance to go back in time to change things, I wouldn't change a single thing.

There were times I stumbled with my Christian faith while I was there, but I felt God was pleased that I pronounced my faith in Him to all of my family living abroad

 

[Servant991]

Thanks for all the support guys, it really means a lot to me. I guess sometimes its just hard to fully put trust in God in some aspects of my life. While I almost certainly will loose some if not all of my current friends, I know that God will lead me to others. I just need to stay focused on that in the coming days... Anyway, thanks again and God bless.

 

[Cordelia]

Oh, yes, I know what you mean! I've had to take a step back very recently and look at how much my life has been changing compared to most, if not all, of my friends since I got closer to God...I prayed about it and tried to think about why I loved my friends in the first place, and concentrate on the good things we still had in common. I still spend a lot of time with most of them, and my faith isn't challenged, which is wonderful.

And then, the most amazing thing happened...the one who'd been probably been my closest friend for a few years, but whom I'd drifted apart from a little bit, contacted me and we got talking about our faiths. He told me he was starting to renew his as well Coincidence? I don't think so.

God bless

 

[Ceris]

I too really know what you mean. When I started to become more dedicated to God in high school, I was distanced from the people that I used to hang out with. Also being called to live a Christian life prevented me from doing a lot of the things others at my high school were doing (i.e. getting drunk every weekend) and so that severely limited the people that I had things in common with. But now that I am in college I have found a good group of people and have started to make some good Christian friends.

 

[uniqute]

Hey Servant,

I kinda know what you mean, when I made a real commitment to Jesus I found that after a while I wasn't interested in doing the stuff that I used to do with my friends. But the point is, the people who were really my friends, still are. We dont hang out as much, I don't go out clubbing and stuff with them, but we catch up for dinner and I keep in touch with phone or email or whatever.

Sometimes it can be hard hanging out with them, and sometimes it feels like we don't have anything in common any more, but usually when we catch up its still cool, but different. I guess it takes a bit of time for me and them to adjust to how stuff changes a bit.

Anyway, the point of this whole post is that I now have heaps of opportunites to share the gospel with my friends. Lots of my christian friends (and yeah, I now have heaps of them which I'm very thankful for) dont have many non christian friends to witness to - I consider it a blessing. And anyway, who better to tell your mates about God then you? They already know and respect you, heaps better than someone they have no relationship with!

I'll be praying for you

 

[Machachachi]

I lost all my friends when I first became a Christian, not because I shunned them but simply because we grew apart, it was so hard for me to relate to them, it took me quite a long time to learn a new way of relating to people, but for about 2 or 3 years, I kept mostly to the fellow Christians I knew I could trust to steer me right, thats how it worked for me, I sometimes miss the friends that I had, and I still keep contact with them, but the things that made us stick, the glue just went away. I wanted to figure out this Jesus thing, and after a while I started having non-christian friends again and now I have more non-christian friends than Christian friends. Its funny but I grew apart from my Christian friends cause I was growing so fast and they just simply didn't understand how much I love to just hang out and have a great time with people. My doors are always open and my stuff is always everyone's and I couldn't find anyone in my Christian circles that could relate to my strange ridiculously extroverted behaviour. Especially since when I became a Christian I was so introverted and shy. Now I'm a crazy socializer with awesome plans and visions. But back to you lol, Really all I can offer to you is a big relax!!! Cause God has something so amazing for you, the people you will meet and the friends you will make will never cease to amaze you, cause God loves you and he spends his life in an effort to make you simply happy.... And I guarentee if you follow the cries he has put in your heart you will never fail to find friends that will truly truly truly amaze you and truly be your friend, I've seen it, I trust God to make it so.... And anyways you have a friend here, and in Jesus, and a million more just waiting around the corner, by the way my e-mail is machachachi@yahoo.com


~Machachachi~

 

[Servant991]

Thank you for sharing that, machachachi (man that's hard to spell), that helped out a lot. I really appreciate it! God bless!

 

[Living4Him03]

I have definitely experienced this. Many of my friends are either non-Christian or claim to be but live a lifestyle that is totally contradictory to God's Word. An example is my friend Lacie. She is really sweet and is a good friend for the most part, BUT she likes to party, drink, go to clubs, and find random guys to make out with (and more). And although I've discussed some of her behaviors that I felt were harming her with her in a loving manner, she is going to do what she wants to do. It's really hard to be friends with her because she is constantly trying to get me to think the way she thinks about every issue. Whether it be about homosexuality or dating or what have you. She doesn't even think I have the sense to choose a good boyfriend, so she tries to set me up with guys who have shaky morals and don't want relationships. I love her and want to be her friend, but at the same time it's really hard to be friends with someone who wants you to conform. It's especially tough considering the fact that I used to agree with her on some issues and I would go party/clubbing with her and she would convince me to drink.

I'm still not sure what to do as far as friendship with her. I do know that I can pray for her and listen and just stand firm in what I believe even though it's hard to do that. I usually try to suggest we do something like go see a movie or go to six flags or get a group to go play putt putt or something instead of going to the clubs. I remind her what it's like to have a relationship with a guy and to know he cares about you and tell her that's the way I feel with the guy I have now and I try to get her to understand that's what she should look for too.

Anyway, sorry this is long. The point is that as you grow closer to Christ sometimes you are going to grow further apart from your friends. It hurts and it's a difficult situation and can often be lonely. However, in the long run you will not only save yourself from heartache and getting into situations that are dishonoring to God, but you may also help your lost friends to come to know Christ.

 

[Servant991]

Your friend sounds all too much like many of mine. And today in church, my pastor talked about how (just as you said): when we come closer to Christ and seek to find him in all aspects of our lives, we often loose many of those whom we love. He explained that he lost most of his immediate family, thank God I'm not experiencing that. But it is somewhat comforting to know that this is a common thing, I suppose. Thank you for sharing, Living4Him03, God bless.

 

[Living4Him03]

No problem, happy to help