I think I am finally losing my mind...literally. I think it was even said that stress can shrink the brain or something similar.
Well I am (once again) pushed past my limits as far as stress and now I feel like my brain is being eaten away by all the stress I've had to endure through life,and yes I do feel like I've had more than a person should have to endure. That's why I feel I am bursting at the seams. I've already had a couple of nervous breakdowns (unofficially diagnosed,but still).
So why oh why must I endure this and also why doesn't God help guide me or give me signs to show He sees this. What have I done so horrible to deserve this? I have been to the edge so many times and it seems it's just getting worse. I have no idea if things will improve or even if my health will just degenerate to nothing.
This 36 year old man feels like crying right now...is that another sign of a breakdown?
hi, I'm sorry for all that you've been though and are going through.
I have had three nervous breakdowns, the first time it took 5 years to recover.
The second time; I'm still under medical treatment for stuff.
A third occured as well, went in hospital for short time, 10 days. Took 3 months to recover from hospitalization.
God does see all your going through, and does not want you to be sick in any way. You do not deserve what's happening to you, and God doesn't send such things to happen to people.
In the ot sometimes such occured but we are in a time of grace since Jesus, and one thing God does is discipline or correct us.
In this He is a loving father and a loving father does not send their child cancer to bring them closer to him, nor to punish him; same as no loving father on earth would do. Whatever God does in our life is from pure love.
He does not zap us for sin, nor for being angry at him, or whatever the feelings are. If he did the whole world would be zapped and it doesn't happen.
We live in a sinful world, full of sin. God never meant it to be like this, and never intended man to suffer when he created us. He does not want any to suffer, but says we will; for one, being a Christian, mocked, whatever, persecution, etc, secondly cause we live in a fallen world, thirdly our battle is not against flesh and blood, so there are things going on that we can not see or know.
Is there any way you can seek help out such as counseling or docs, if you haven't already to help with such.
Aside from seeking professional help and seeking help and support from friends (that is if they haven't deserted as many do), maybe a bible study if you feel well enough to go to one, small one somewhere and get fellowship and care that way as well.
One thing i do i hold on dearly to God's words and promises, and though i'm in a valley, i never let go of God, and even when I do, i know he will never leave me nor forsake me.
i know I may someday have an illness which brings serious constant pain, or anything could happen to me. But I hold on to what I know to be true.
Paul said this:
We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. 9Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.
These things happen to us as well as non christians.
It's a struggle to live. It helps me to put my hope in Christ and also what is to come (heaven - eternity with God), and to know this isn't forever here on earth. I ask God to take me home everynight, yet i wake up each day.
Paul desired the same:
22If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! 23I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; 24but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.
We can only hang on to the truth in the word, and knowing God is with us.
Some do say they get signs from God but that is not the norm. We do not know what God is doing which we can not see, we know all good things come from God. We know he loves us very much. God does know your pain and suffering, He knows you intimately.
We are not aware of what goes on in the battle that is going on in the spiritual realm which we are affected by somehow.
I think you need help from professionals and friends/fellowship as each battle comes up.
It is okay to cry, and not a sign of a breakdown. It's a sign that things are building up and you are relieving some stress by crying; even if you infrequently cry.
If i were crying every day it would be indicative to me that I may be in depression and seek medical help as depression is many times a physical illness.
Would you like to share some of the stressors? I am so concerned for you because it hurts to know you are suffering so and maybe if discuss some would help maybe.
I know my words in this post do not touch what you are going through, but still felt need to write.
Praying for you,
tapero
