Losing It All

[karalianne]

Big, wide smile stretches from ear to ear –
you’d never guess
that she’s dying inside,
that she’s crying inside,
that she’s hurting...


Her eyes are bright with tears –
but seem happy
hidden under a smile,
hidden under that voice,
hidden well inside...

Alone in the shadows, the truth resides
and that is when the tears fall down
dripping into her lap like blood
from the wounds she imagines she’s caused.

The smile is strained, and people wonder –
but nobody asks
if she needs a friend,
if a hug from a friend
would pull her in...

Her eyes become dull and clouded –
the blush of joy
has faded with time,
has died with time,
has drowned in sorrow...

Alone in the shadows, the truth resides
and that is when the blood falls down
dripping into her lap like raindrops
washing the pain away from her soul.

The smile is still now, there’s silence around –
shock has set in
there’s nothing left,
there’s no way to change it,
there’s no time...

Her eyes are closed against the light –
blank and unseeing
no past to remember
no present to love
no future to plan for...

Alone in the shadows, the truth resides
​

and that is when her life fell down
​

running away from pain and sorrow
hoping to start all over again.
​

11/30/00
​

My cousin killed herself back when we were 16. This is, I believe, the third poem I've written about that, and, I think, the best one so far.
​

 

[CelineDion]

wow

 

[delicate_flower]

I love it.

 

[missionarypoet]

Two years ago, that was me. You captured the feelings perfectly. It's always amazed me how little people noticed my feelings in that time. To this day, I don't think anyone knew I was feeling like that.

 

[karalianne]

Two years ago, that was me. You captured the feelings perfectly. It's always amazed me how little people noticed my feelings in that time. To this day, I don't think anyone knew I was feeling like that.

Helps that I've felt that way, too. God got me through it, though.

Thanks for the comments. I may post another poem at some point - I'll have to see what I've written more recently.

 

[SuperSmart]

wow