Losing Interest

[California Dreamin']

I went on vacation with Paul on Monday to another province and we came back on Wednesday. Since we don't live together or anything, I did learn about him more on this trip.

He does not brush his teeth. No joke. His teeth I noticed were gross looking but then I found out he doesn't brush them??!?!

I have known him since I was 14 years old and whenever we made plans, he would stand me up and he was always too sick or something. He was very immature.

We got together in March 2006... this time. And he has gone to play poker instead of seeing me, etc. like the same guy I knew when I was 14.

He gets sick and then doesn't go to work, doesn't e-mail me or answer my calls, pretty much disappears.

I have been debating this for awhile, I don't think that he has long-term qualities that I would want, we aren't on the same level. I would appreciate any prayer or insight on this... like now I haven't heard from him since Thursday, he just disappears without reason.

When we are together, we have a good time and get along well... but I'm just losing attraction and interest.

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

I went on vacation with Paul on Monday to another province and we came back on Wednesday. Since we don't live together or anything, I did learn about him more on this trip.

He does not brush his teeth. No joke. His teeth I noticed were gross looking but then I found out he doesn't brush them??!?!

I have known him since I was 14 years old and whenever we made plans, he would stand me up and he was always too sick or something. He was very immature.

We got together in March 2006... this time. And he has gone to play poker instead of seeing me, etc. like the same guy I knew when I was 14.

He gets sick and then doesn't go to work, doesn't e-mail me or answer my calls, pretty much disappears.

I have been debating this for awhile, I don't think that he has long-term qualities that I would want, we aren't on the same level. I would appreciate any prayer or insight on this... like now I haven't heard from him since Thursday, he just disappears without reason.

When we are together, we have a good time and get along well... but I'm just losing attraction and interest.

These are seroius things, and if you know now that these are qualities that you want to deal with on a long term basis then you owe it to him and yourself do end the relationship. I would advise spending ALOT of time in prayer, and see that God wants for you to do this. But if you are having these types of doubts and you feel that you are losing interest make sure you do the right thing. Also take into consideration the fact that infatuation is probably starting to wear off and you are seeing the real person, and you are not blinded by feelings. Now you have to make the choice of whether or not you want to love him, because love is a choice. It sounds as if you are at a point that will be a determining factor in your relationship with him. Either you choose to love him with all of his faults, or you decide that he is not the person that you are meant to be with. You will be in my prayers

 

[Johnnz]

He looks like a dead end relationship for you. Don't settle for someone so unmotivated and lacking in many essential life skills.

John
NZ

 

[svl3p]

i've known someone almost exactly like you described (even down to the not brushing teeth)....since i was 13 or so...we were (and are) very close friends...i did like him at one point, but eventually realized he needs to grow up. it's hard, i know...but there's no point in staying in a relationship if you don't think it'll go anywhere...it can do even more harm that way...i hope everything turns out ok for you. PM me if you want.

 

[porterross]

Oh, honey. Do you really want to know any more?

Run away! Run away!


sorry, Monty Python hangover

 

[eatenbylocusts]

I don't want to make light of the serious decision you have to make, but EWWWWW! I can't stand the thought of kissing someone like that. Not taking care of one's teeth can contribute to serious health problems too.

 

[TravellingGrace]

If you're losing interest, that's a sign you should not be in that relationship. Don't try and force it to work, it'll just hurt more.

 

[California Dreamin']

Thanks for the comments. I still haven't had any e-mail or heard from him since Thursday. I really appreciate the comments...

 

[feesha]

i would like to say that it doesn't get much better.

being 23 and having had a few serious relationships.. men aren't much better than this. they forget to call, sometimes they forget about hygene, sometimes they forget about you..

they aren't perfect and neither are we. i guess i would like to say from experience that all people are imperfect and you'll never find a feminine male you're attracted to (feminie as in loves to talk on the phone 7 hours a day, loves shopping, and wants to decorate a new scrapbook with you :/)

it seems like your boyfriend's actions are below parr right now. but do you love him for who he is and not what he does?

 

[robalan]

i would like to say that it doesn't get much better.

being 23 and having had a few serious relationships.. men aren't much better than this. they forget to call, sometimes they forget about hygene, sometimes they forget about you..

they aren't perfect and neither are we. i guess i would like to say from experience that all people are imperfect and you'll never find a feminine male you're attracted to (feminie as in loves to talk on the phone 7 hours a day, loves shopping, and wants to decorate a new scrapbook with you :/)

it seems like your boyfriend's actions are below parr right now. but do you love him for who he is and not what he does?

You shouldn't expect men to be women, as you said. It would be like men expecting you to be interested in baseball, reading Scientific American articles about fossils and neanderthals, or watching movies about conquest and battles like "Gladiator". Next time you wonder why men don't do all these things, ask yourself how many of those things you do.

 

[California Dreamin']

Baseball's my favourite.
But I don't know any guys like in your description.

 

[barefeetonholyground]

Doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship. I wouldn't continue with it.

 

[robalan]

Baseball's my favourite.
But I don't know any guys like in your description.

You don't know any guys who read Scientific American? That's strange. The most popular science magazine in the US, and you don't know any guys who read it? And what about all the zillions of shows on TV about fossils, dinosaurs, etc? Surely someone has to be watching them or they wouldn't be aired. The same things is true of movies like "Gladiator". Movies like that wouldn't be made if there weren't a huge audience for them.

 

[California Dreamin']

I really don't know anyone with the description.

 

[plum]

good advice I heard from a mom that might help in your situation:

"If you can handle his idiosyncrasies 20x worse than what they are now, then marry him. If you want to change him into the man you would marry, don't go any further. "

 

[California Dreamin']

Yeah I like that one ^

 

[robalan]

good advice I heard from a mom that might help in your situation:

"If you can handle his idiosyncrasies 20x worse than what they are now, then marry him. If you want to change him into the man you would marry, don't go any further. "

That's definitely good advice. People don't change. Behaviors are simply modified; but people don't change who they are.

 

[miss_klara]

I could not bear it if my boyfriend didn't answer my calls, or let me know where he's at. The whole disappearing off the face of the planet thing is so very uncool. I literally would not be able to deal with that. If he cares about you, why on earth does he avoid contact from you for a few days at a time? There's something wrong there... Try talking to him and getting some straight answers.

 

[robalan]

Can we delete posts?

 

[California Dreamin']

He says his computer needed to be reformated but that is really lame because I have a phone, so does he. We went out yesterday, but he always emails me from work, didn't once today, he got off work at 6:30 and said he would phone my cell phone, wanted to see me tonight... it's 7:05, my cell phone's turned off but I'm sitting by the house phone.

Anyways... I am starting to like someone else who lives across the country!!!