Looking for answers

[looking4joy]

Hi,
I'm questioning the longterm possibility of the relationship I'm in. When I first met her, I saw her needing someone. She saw me the same way. But over the three years of talking/discussing marriage, she has proved to be somewhat controlling and she smothers me. I dearly love her and care for her feelings. I know she feels the same way. I am not sure what to do. Just plain out telling her can hurt her, but not saying anything at all isn't right either. I'd just be leading her on that everything is ok. How can I gently tell her I've had all I can handle in terms of her smothering me?

 

[dayhiker]

I think you have to get to where you can talk honestly with your GF. Poor communication is one of the major causes of divorce or just BF/GFs breaking up. So you need to learn this skill or you will have problems the rest of your life. It took me a long time to move from knowing this in my head to actually starting to talk about these things.

Try to find an article that talks about someone who smothers one they love doesn't draw them closer but ends up driving them away. Have her read the article and then talk about it. This issue is a big issue and so one little talk about it will not solve it.
I pray God gives you wisdom to get thru this.