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looking for a mate...

blackribbon

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Jeremiah 29:11-13

New International Version (NIV)

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.


I think this means if finding a spouse is a desire of our heart, then we are supposed to focus on getting to know God. If we making looking for a spouse our main activity, we are making that our "god". We should be focusing our whole being on becoming a child of God, He will either provide for our longings or change the desire of our hearts.

"God helps those who help themselves" is not a Christian belief.
 

dayhiker

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There are a lot of Christains that view all of their life that way. I have no problem with that. It works really well. Indeed, I've lived that way in the past.

Today I approach my Christians faith and life from a different place.

1 Cor.10: 29-31 For why should my freedom be judged by another’s conscience? 30If I take part in the meal with thankfulness, why am I denounced because of something I thank God for? 31So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

Context is the strong and weak. I'd fall into the strong group that sees a lot of freedom, And that as long as I can thank God for it and not offend, hurt a fellow believer than I'm free to do it. So these days I go about the many things in my life that I'm interested in and at the same time I'm looking for a woman. They aren't falling at my feet, but I have made a hand full of female friends in the last couple of months. I don't know that we will ever move beyond being friends at the events we both go to ... time will tell.
 
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Jeremiah 29:11-13

New International Version (NIV)

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.


I think this means if finding a spouse is a desire of our heart, then we are supposed to focus on getting to know God. If we making looking for a spouse our main activity, we are making that our "god". We should be focusing our whole being on becoming a child of God, He will either provide for our longings or change the desire of our hearts.

"God helps those who help themselves" is not a Christian belief.

The qoute"God helps those who help themselves" is not in the Bible. However,I see nothing wrong with that saying.

I can only speak for myself. I truly thank God that I am living a good life,after being born poor and living in sub-standard housing. I would not have been able to be a financial sucess in life if I just sat at home,waiting for a miracle to happen. I got off of my duff and made a difference in my life. :)
It would be the "icing on the cake" if I can share my life with someone who has had the same experiences. Then,we would appreciate each other.
 
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The problem is that 'getting an education' is something that is under your control and requires following certain steps like studying and making an effort.

My personal belief is that 'finding a soul mate' isn't in the same category and doesn't work the same way.

That may have worked for you and,that may be true. But asking me not to try is like asking a tiger to change his spots. In other words,trying hard to accomplish something in life is in my DNA. That is just who and what I am. One who has a never give up attitude,just like Paul had when he was spreading the Gospel. He did not give up,even though he was ship wrecked,beaten,and jailed. The day I stop trying is the day that they will put me in the ground.
 
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memoriesbymichelle

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That may have worked for you and,that may be true. But asking me not to try is like asking a tiger to change his spots. In other words,trying hard to accomplish something in life is in my DNA. That is just who and what I am. One who has a never give up attitude,just like Paul had when he was spreading the Gospel. He did not give up,even though he was ship wrecked,beaten,and jailed. The day I stop trying is the day that they will put me in the ground.


Well just remember that just because we have a passion or drive does not make it God's will or God's way. Paul, if you remember also used to throw Christians in jail and kill them and all the while thought he was doing it in God's name....but he was wrong....

I get that you are adamant, and you REALLY want someone to share your life with, but when you are dealing with the feelings of other people you cannot force them to be in a relationship with you (as you well know!) So why do you think you can go at this with all your gusto and eventually it will happen? You, yourself, have said that in the past, you have gotten the wrong type of woman even though you "tried". Why can't you restrain your passion UNTIL you meet the woman of your dreams? Or why can't you use that passion you have for God? In other words, getting involved in a ministry to glorify your creator.
Go ahead and take every opportunity that comes your way and evaluate it and whatever, but you seriously cannot go all out and expect the outcome you want and if you DID get what you want this way, how is that faith? If you did it, then God did not so.....and you wouldn't need God if you could do it all without him.
 
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dayhiker

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But it wasn't Paul's motivation or his personality and temperament that got Paul in trouble. It was that he misused his motivation. I'd therefore say going after a woman according to how exit's temperment works is the way God wants him to do it. It also gives the woman an honest view of who exit is from the start. If she seems him disengaged in finding a woman, then she will miss read his personality and exit will end up with the wrong woman again for a different reason.
 
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memoriesbymichelle

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But it wasn't Paul's motivation or his personality and temperament that got Paul in trouble. It was that he misused his motivation. I'd therefore say going after a woman according to how exit's temperment works is the way God wants him to do it. It also gives the woman an honest view of who exit is from the start. If she seems him disengaged in finding a woman, then she will miss read his personality and exit will end up with the wrong woman again for a different reason.

It wasn't Paul's motivation alone, but it was his mis-guided use of his motivation IMO. And I don't think in the aspect of "finding somebody" you find them when you are "looking" but hey, you guys are gonna do what you do no matter what anyone says so my question is why does he keep asking?
 
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Well just remember that just because we have a passion or drive does not make it God's will or God's way. Paul, if you remember also used to throw Christians in jail and kill them and all the while thought he was doing it in God's name....but he was wrong....

I get that you are adamant, and you REALLY want someone to share your life with, but when you are dealing with the feelings of other people you cannot force them to be in a relationship with you (as you well know!) So why do you think you can go at this with all your gusto and eventually it will happen? You, yourself, have said that in the past, you have gotten the wrong type of woman even though you "tried". Why can't you restrain your passion UNTIL you meet the woman of your dreams? Or why can't you use that passion you have for God? In other words, getting involved in a ministry to glorify your creator.
Go ahead and take every opportunity that comes your way and evaluate it and whatever, but you seriously cannot go all out and expect the outcome you want and if you DID get what you want this way, how is that faith? If you did it, then God did not so.....and you wouldn't need God if you could do it all without him.

You are right about Paul. I will give you that much.

If you remember,I HAVE used that same passion for GOD.Remember,I have my Drama Ministry at my church. With this new job I got in January of 2011,my working hours are 2:00 pm until 10:30pm,Mondays-Fridays.
There is no way that I can attend rehearsals,as rehearsal hours are usally 7:00pm until 10;pm.
Last,year,in front of everybody,my supervisor promised me,that if a day shift opened up,I will get the first priority to ask to go to days. I thought,"Great,my prayers are being answered in order for me to continue in my Drama Ministry." Well,late last year,a day shift opening occured,BUT,I was told that they(management) wanted to change hours and days. She just flat out LIED to me,as she reneged on her promise to me. Since Satan is the Father of all lies,maybe this is Satan's way of interfering with my method of spreading the Gospel through my church's Drama Ministry.
As you are aware,it is Satan who always tries to put things in our way just to frustrate us and to tick us off.

Changing jobs, so I can go to day shift work, is not an option because of our economy.

Therefore,not being able to serve in my Drama Minsitry is at the root of my frustration. When I am performing,I do not have time to think about being lonely,as I have my lines and my blocking to sub-consiously and consiously to think about.
By the way, The reason why I picked two wrong women was because the right ones kept rejectiing me. I gave up,stop trying hard,and settled for the wrong ones.

Well, I AM in a good mood today. Today,the National Football League Schedule comes out. I can now plan my vacation in November so I will not miss any 49ers games. I thank GOD for sports. When I am watching games,I can ESCAPE all of this male and female non-sense. I have many great memories of sporting events that I have been to. Sports are the ONE area in my life where I do not feel CHEATED. :)
 
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dayhiker

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I think we are saying the same thing about Paul's motivation.

lol ... I guess he has to keep the conversation going.

I guess this is why guys have always taken the inititive in finding a wife. I've never had a woman ask me out on a date before we were in a committed relationship.

It wasn't Paul's motivation alone, but it was his mis-guided use of his motivation IMO. And I don't think in the aspect of "finding somebody" you find them when you are "looking" but hey, you guys are gonna do what you do no matter what anyone says so my question is why does he keep asking?
 
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