Well just remember that just because we have a passion or drive does not make it God's will or God's way. Paul, if you remember also used to throw Christians in jail and kill them and all the while thought he was doing it in God's name....but he was wrong....
I get that you are adamant, and you REALLY want someone to share your life with, but when you are dealing with the feelings of other people you cannot force them to be in a relationship with you (as you well know!) So why do you think you can go at this with all your gusto and eventually it will happen? You, yourself, have said that in the past, you have gotten the wrong type of woman even though you "tried". Why can't you restrain your passion UNTIL you meet the woman of your dreams? Or why can't you use that passion you have for God? In other words, getting involved in a ministry to glorify your creator.
Go ahead and take every opportunity that comes your way and evaluate it and whatever, but you seriously cannot go all out and expect the outcome you want and if you DID get what you want this way, how is that faith? If you did it, then God did not so.....and you wouldn't need God if you could do it all without him.
You are right about Paul. I will give you that much.
If you remember,I HAVE used that same passion for GOD.Remember,I have my Drama Ministry at my church. With this new job I got in January of 2011,my working hours are 2:00 pm until 10:30pm,Mondays-Fridays.
There is no way that I can attend rehearsals,as rehearsal hours are usally 7:00pm until 10;pm.
Last,year,in front of everybody,my supervisor promised me,that if a day shift opened up,I will get the first priority to ask to go to days. I thought,"Great,my prayers are being answered in order for me to continue in my Drama Ministry." Well,late last year,a day shift opening occured,BUT,I was told that they(management) wanted to change hours and days. She just flat out LIED to me,as she reneged on her promise to me. Since Satan is the Father of all lies,maybe this is Satan's way of interfering with my method of spreading the Gospel through my church's Drama Ministry.
As you are aware,it is Satan who always tries to put things in our way just to frustrate us and to tick us off.
Changing jobs, so I can go to day shift work, is not an option because of our economy.
Therefore,not being able to serve in my Drama Minsitry is at the root of my frustration. When I am performing,I do not have time to think about being lonely,as I have my lines and my blocking to sub-consiously and consiously to think about.
By the way, The reason why I picked two wrong women was because the right ones kept rejectiing me. I gave up,stop trying hard,and settled for the wrong ones.
Well, I AM in a good mood today. Today,the National Football League Schedule comes out. I can now plan my vacation in November so I will not miss any 49ers games. I thank GOD for sports. When I am watching games,I can ESCAPE all of this male and female non-sense. I have many great memories of sporting events that I have been to. Sports are the ONE area in my life where I do not feel CHEATED.
