looking back

[f U z ! o N]

now that im on a "break" with my ex (or breakup i don't know cuz she ain't told me what it is yet), looking back i wish i could have done a few things differently. i wish i could have been more on fire for God, and been a stronger christian. our relationship was quite perfect honestly, we never struggled with any temptations for anything. i just wish i could have been a better christian. i know everyone goes through hard times but i really wish i could have done better. i ended up believing in evolution for some time and i know that caused problems. i don't believe in that junk anymore though. i just know if i get another chance with her or if God brings me another girl, i'll do things differently.

anyone else hate the feeling of looking back and wishing you could have done somethings better?

 

[Hope_0004]

I think that it is fine to ask others what they might have done differently, after the fact and with time to reflect.

I haven't actually been broken up with... but I still have had some situations where I could have been kinder, more understanding, or alternatively more up front. I have taken all of this with me, and now when I have a problem, I speak up; when I'm not feeling something, I don't pretend to be; when I'm telling someone something that will be unpleasant, I don't try to make up things or sugarcoat it, but I do remember I'm speaking to someone with feelings. I'm glad I learned all of this.

I think that you are dealing with your breakup quite well - instead of crying about it or saying she's a nutcase, you're trying to work on yourself, and in my opinion, if you're doing so positively that's a good thing no matter what the underlying motive. Just make sure that, whether this girl or any other girl shows up in the near future, you're excited about improving and won't stop if you get discouraged.

 

[f U z ! o N]

yeah im not trying to change for my ex. im just reflecting on areas that i know need improvement. i agreed with her 100% on mostly everything but even though SHE told me she didn't break up with me due to our differences, it's those differences i want to work on personally because i know she is right on a few things. I'm not the type of guy to blame her for everything, i examine what i did and what i could have done better and make the changes accordingly. i listened to her, and will change the things i know are right to change. but me and my personality will never change for anyone. i just want to be better for her if she comes back or for the next girl God brings me. as far as evolutionary theory, i used to believe in it (sorry for calling it junk) and i find it very interesting to read about, but every time i talked about it she got mad at me. i just kept it to myself. but over time, i began to find parts of the theory hard to believe so i soon realized i don't accept macroevolution anymore.

 

[peanutbutter12]

Also, don't let your entire purpose in life become surrounded by finding someone of the opposite sex. I did that once and it turned into a long, lonely road and I wasn't happy with life at all. Life is too short to worry about things like that. Plus, the more you look, the longer it will take.

CJ

 

[Johnnz]

Learning from experience is part of life. Get used to it. It's not learning from our mistakes that is the real problem, not that we don't always get it right first time. Be realistic - perfection in all that we do and believe just does not happen.

John
NZ

 

[wiggsfly]

Be careful of changing yourself for someone else. You are who you are and to try to be anyone else is nothing but a lie. Although it is possible for people to change it is also very unusual and is usually no more than denial of ones self.

 

[Inperfected]

katomi's she's so right sorry...

i was going out with an incrediable guy for a year (it's been close on two year since we broke up...) he was awesome! Similar in many ways, and we just clicked, everyone thought we'd be together... and so did i.. so i thought anyway.

When he broke up with me, my heart broke and along came my best friend to pick up the pieces again......... and i WASN'T looking for a relationship at all... in 3 months, that best friend will be my husband, but you see the pieces of heart he ended having to pick up weren't mine... but rather his own.
the moral of the story is two things... don't rebound, it will hurt you, but hurt the person you're rebounding on more... Secondly, God works all things for good. If i hadn't broken up with him, i'd be in a relationship that would have waited SIX years for marriage. I had to break up with him to follow god's plans and reevaluate my career choice...

But heres the thing in my base that's incrediable. i told you about my awesome ex? Well he is! I care deeply for him, he's offered to babysit when we have kids i mean (good few years yet!) and he's also my fiance best friend and best man.

 

[lovingboy]

One way to look back and evaluate a matter like this is not to think of what you did "wrong", because you are who you are and you should never question your personality based on what someone thinks of you. Instead, think back and take somehting that you learned from that person and just treasure it in your heart as a new experience/knowledge/insight that you got from that person.

And as odd and challenging as this may sound, SMILE! and look around you at the people who really love you.