This is a short video, but I found it interesting and true. What are your thoughts?
Loneliness Illustrated So Beautifully You Will Need To Tell Someone
Loneliness Illustrated So Beautifully You Will Need To Tell Someone
-
Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.
-
CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.
Lonliness Illustrated
- Thread starter memoriesbymichelle
- Start date
miss-a
Newbie
First thought was I think it's very encouraging that the voice on the video sounds like a young person. I think it's, if that is indeed the case, that perhaps some young people are noticing the err of the cultures ways.
I agree that social media has badly effected the concept of community, though I don't think it's entirely to blame or entirelly evil.
I also understood that one of the point was that we could benefit from learning to be able to be alone. I don't mean always alone, but to not have the need for constant connection.
What did you think?
I agree that social media has badly effected the concept of community, though I don't think it's entirely to blame or entirelly evil.
I also understood that one of the point was that we could benefit from learning to be able to be alone. I don't mean always alone, but to not have the need for constant connection.
What did you think?
Upvote
0
I do think there is a balance and we need to be OK with being with ourselves, alone at times, yes I agree.
Some people are so afraid of being alone, they jump from relationship to relationship because they could not stand to be alone and that's not good IMO.
Some people are so afraid of being alone, they jump from relationship to relationship because they could not stand to be alone and that's not good IMO.
Upvote
0
TheyCallMeDavid
Well-Known Member
The video was insightful. I share your sentiments that we need to come to a place of acceptance and even enjoyment from our alone-ness ...otherwise it can easily lead to a relationship addiction / entering into toxic friendships or improper friendships, etc... so as to obtain temporary relief from the fear and reality of lonliness . I was once caught up in the quagmire of relationship-hopping to avoid being alone for any great length of time and to get my self esteem bolstered and value as a person, verified . Im pleased to report that Christ has allowed this to not be a problem anymore in my life , and that i currently experience a good balance between Alone-ness and frequent community in my life. Ive come to a place where my worth isnt tied up in being with someone in a committed relationship , and instead comes from knowing and walking with my Maker daily.
Upvote
0
very good! After my husband died, I had to make alot of decisions and I don't mean daily everyday life decisions. I mean I had to look at myself and decide...do I like this person I'm looking at, and if not, why not and work on being able to "like" myself, so I could "like" being with myself. I'm not perfect and there are still many things I do not like about myself, but I like being with myself, just like I like being with other people and having someone or not having someone does not make me a better or worse person. Lots of people have someone and they are unhappy, and same with some of those that don't have anyone. The key is to be happy in the situation you are in, no matter what that situation is, because it is always subject to change at any moment.
Upvote
0
dayhiker
Mature veteran
- Sep 13, 2006
- 15,562
- 5,307
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Charismatic
- Marital Status
- In Relationship
- Politics
- US-Others
Ya, I think David has the balance right. It's good being comfortable alone and having alone time as we live our life. Yet God designed us to be social beings, so someone who is a loner is missing as much of life as the person who can only enjoy life when in a relationship.
One of the ladies in my life is very comfortable being along, but is having a great time right now exploring her time with guys. She has never been married and only a few BFs over the years. So last night she had dinner for me and another guy. Probably the 1st time she has entertained two guys at the same time and she as eating up the attention we were giving her. The other guy and I had 40 mins to visit while she finished getting dinner ready and we enjoyed giving her that experience as well. She is about to loose him as he is heading west in 2 or 3 weeks.
One of the ladies in my life is very comfortable being along, but is having a great time right now exploring her time with guys. She has never been married and only a few BFs over the years. So last night she had dinner for me and another guy. Probably the 1st time she has entertained two guys at the same time and she as eating up the attention we were giving her. The other guy and I had 40 mins to visit while she finished getting dinner ready and we enjoyed giving her that experience as well. She is about to loose him as he is heading west in 2 or 3 weeks.
Upvote
0
TheyCallMeDavid
Well-Known Member
Another reason i have discovered why a good many People remain in a state of willful Alone-ness culiminating in Lonliness ... is due to trust issues that have developed from very bad past experiences ; its oftentimes enough to keep them pinned down instead of venturing out for community with the opposite sex particularly. I have such a Friend right now who is this way.
How can we encourage Someone like that to give people another chance by venturing out of Ones shell ?
How can we encourage Someone like that to give people another chance by venturing out of Ones shell ?
Upvote
0
Doctor Strangelove
Senior Member
- Oct 5, 2012
- 1,097
- 55
- Faith
- Anglican
- Marital Status
- Single
- Politics
- US-Others
Sometimes you are too depleted to think about a relationship. There was a time in my life where everything was work, work, work and school, school, school. Then I was in an unhappy work situation and I was also the part-time caretaker for an elderly parent. Life can really pass you by when you are busy.
Now I am more focused on just doing things I am interested in without being too obsessed with meeting a woman. That is a goal, even an important goal, but I am not putting my life on hold just because I have not had any sort of relationship for a long time. If I go to a concert or a restaurant or where ever alone and someone notices and thinks it odd - fine! Let them stare if they want - I don't care. I am still very busy but I am not as stressed out and negative as I used to be.
Now I am more focused on just doing things I am interested in without being too obsessed with meeting a woman. That is a goal, even an important goal, but I am not putting my life on hold just because I have not had any sort of relationship for a long time. If I go to a concert or a restaurant or where ever alone and someone notices and thinks it odd - fine! Let them stare if they want - I don't care. I am still very busy but I am not as stressed out and negative as I used to be.
Upvote
0
TheyCallMeDavid
Well-Known Member
Yes, i concur. There is joy in living the Christian Single life and it needs to be looked upon as a high calling...and a great opportunity to serve Christ and store up treasure in heaven so its there when we arrive.
Upvote
0
Baby steps and just being a friend. If you can get them out for a short jaunt and get them to have fun, then next time they might be easier to pursuade.
but I agree with you. Isn't it funny that some people make bad choices because they can't stand to be alone so they pick Mrs. Wrong or Mr. Wrong even if they know they aren't the right one, and OTHER people become hermits that build big walls so no one can hurt them and they are protected. Neither scenerio is good.
For me, it's not about being "afraid" to be in a relationship, although there is a part of me that would not believe someone would be interested for real in me, even though I think I would be a good partner to someone I loved. It's more about trusting that the guy would be who he says he is, and about the TIME, because I work 2 jobs, and have a teenager, and about the EFFORT it takes to have a great relationship that keeps me from "seeking" one.
Upvote
0
TheyCallMeDavid
Well-Known Member
With you being a Single Parent, Michelle, time is a very precious commodity and it sounds like...in short supply during this particular season of your life. But, i have friends who are in a commited relationship whereby the Other works alot of hours and it seems to not be a problem for most of them. I guess it would depend on HOW much time is required and expected by a prospective Dating Partner ; for me personally.....seeing Another in a comitted relationship 2-3 times per week would seem adequate and it wouldnt have to be for hours each time either. I guess its whatever works for the Couple .
' although there is a part of me that would not believe someone would be interested for real in me, even though I think I would be a good partner to someone I loved'
REPLY: Is this because of time restraints primarily .. or is the issue regarding your Cross-dressing in public after everyones in bed !? lol...
Upvote
0
Who told you about my cross-dressing?
My husband in the latter part of our marriage before he got sick, let it be known that he was not fond of how I looked any longer, yet he would afford me no way of changing it. He would not let me join a gym, jenny craig, nothing. He said I just needed to eat less and sweat, wouldn't even give me "time" to workout at home because when I got off work, after I cooked dinner, cleaned the kitchen and took care of the kids, I needed to be with him whatever he was doing. And ATM I am not fond of the way I look but have tried and failed to look how I want and ATM am not in the mental capacity to even want to tackle it. Grant it, it's not as bad as I make it out to be, but it plays into my thoughts when it comes to men. I have a guy that sprays for bugs when I need him. He is super nice and friendly but I don't call him unless I have bugs. I was getting ants every year for awhile. Anyway, I saw him the other day at the gas station and he gave me a big hug and told me I looked great! He even commented on my outfit and I told him I got it for my vacation and it was kind of my favorite, and he said back, "well now it's my favorite too". So while I don't think I am unattractive, I just don't look how I want to. BUT having said THAT, if I was to look how I wished I did, then I would think the guy only liked me BECAUSE of how great I looked! It's quite insane really.
Upvote
0
TheyCallMeDavid
Well-Known Member
Who told you about my cross-dressing?
I have a guy that sprays for bugs when I need him. He is super nice and friendly but I don't call him unless I have bugs. I was getting ants every year for awhile. Anyway, I saw him the other day at the gas station and he gave me a big hug and told me I looked great! He even commented on my outfit and I told him I got it for my vacation and it was kind of my favorite, and he said back, "well now it's my favorite too". So while I don't think I am unattractive, I just don't look how I want to. BUT having said THAT, if I was to look how I wished I did, then I would think the guy only liked me BECAUSE of how great I looked! It's quite insane really.
I think many Husbands go way overboard on their demands for how their wife 'should' look..and it can lead to alot of friction. I believe most husbands put looks on a lower level after being married for a long time with the emotional and spiritual connection being far more important.
Upvote
0
well we can only hope now can't we? He was a "visual" person as most people are more visual than auditory in learning, but even in his speech he would be like "watch this!" or "check this out" or "look at this" he would get upset if I did not make eye contact while he was talking even though I totally can multi-task lol.
I think I would need someone that would support me if I wanted to lose weight and get in shape, but didn't have that as THEIR top priority and could love me just the way I am too.
Upvote
0
TheyCallMeDavid
Well-Known Member
A Husband can help his wife with encouragement without being heavy-handed in a variety of ways :
1. You BOTH join a Fitness Center and do it together as 'a Team' .
2. The Husband adjusts HIS food plans to accomodate his wifes .. which usually means he will be eating alot healthier also.
3. The Husband shows his pride in his wife each time she looses 10-15 lbs. by buying her a new skirt/dress/fancy jeans/beautiful blouse to celebrate the accomplishment so far.
4. He ups the affection and sexual to validate her attractiveness to him and her ongoing determination to reach her final goal of weight loss.
Im not denouncing your Husband..its just that there are more tactful ways of going about it. Typically, making things a Team effort is a win-win situation for all involved.
Upvote
0
Similar threads
