Longdistant relationships

[MN John]

I am in an LDR. Jan lives 1200 miles away. She's here on CF and will probably be posting in this thread soon too. this is new to me. I have to agree with what Carri said ...

I love our daily discussions about God and the Bible, our plans for the future, and our past and current lives. If we were together in person we might instead be tempted to spend more time on the couch watching movies and touching each other than actually getting to know each other as people. So I'm grateful we got our start this way, and I know we'll be together in God's perfect timing.

and what Rain said...

You wouldn't believe how much better you get to know someone long distance than you do seeing one another every day for a year. You really learn to communicate in the absense of one another's company.

I am going out to see her in April. We are seeking God's guidance and praying for discernement and wisdom to determine whether His will is for us to marry. I hope so!

My overall response to the original poster's question is that you can't put God in a box. You can't try to limit God by saying that you won't get involved in an LDR because if that's how He intends to introduce you to your future spouse, then you have to be open to however He will lead you.

 

[KellyLeigh]

My guy and I are in one. He's in New York and I'm going to school in Alabama. It's so hard because I just miss him so much, but I love him so I know it will work out. We're going to get married once I'm done with school and what not and we can finally be together a normal amount. I can't wait!!

The Good parts about being so far away from eachother :
~* We don't have that temptation to go farther than we should outside of marriage
~* We talk on the phone a lot, and we have a lot of good conversations.
~* If we can make it 3 years with only seeing eachother once in a while, then we can do almost anything.
~* Missing him so much just reminds you how great he is, and it does not allow you to even think of another guy or cheating. Because I miss him, he's always on my mind, not some other guy
~* Missing him so much just makes seeing him that much more special!

The Bad Part:
** I miss him a lot

 

[MMXII]

John (MN John) and I, as you see above, are in a LDR. It's not my first but by far the best. There are good and bad in LDR's as well as any other relationship. Some of the things that I've found.

Pro's

• We spend huge amounts of time either on the phone, IM'ing and/or webcamming. Therefore getting to know each other better than if we lived close.
• We spend time in devotion, discussion and prayer that if we were together may be spent on something less constructive.
• Sexual desires, even though they are still there, aren't acted on.
• More one-on-one time as there aren't that many distractions when we are on the phone whereas if in person there may be outside distractions.

Con's

• We are unable to connect physically...I love to hold hands and hug.
• I miss him even though I haven't met him.
• Countdowns to the next meeting seems to take forever.

I'm anxious to meet John in April. We have been praying for God's will to be done in our lives. We are praying that if it's God will for us to be married, that He'll let us know with bright lights and sounds (wouldn't it be cool if we got a thunderstorm soon after he lands)

 

[KellyLeigh]

I'm anxious to meet John in April. We have been praying for God's will to be done in our lives. We are praying that if it's God will for us to be married, that He'll let us know with bright lights and sounds (wouldn't it be cool if we got a thunderstorm soon after he lands)

Aww well good luck! I'll be praying for you two as well!

 

[Hediru]

I'm not currently in an LDR anymore, but I was in one for 3 years. Call me an LDR survivor. My bf lived in Chicago at the time while I finished school in West Virginia. Now that I've graduated and got a great job in Pennsylvania, he has gotten an apartment down the street from mine! This was back in October. We are very happy to be together again! Any of you who are currently in an LDR, you can PM me anytime for encouragement! You are all in my prayers!

 

[Hediru]

Tried it, enjoyed it, succeeded in it. You wouldn't believe how much better you get to know someone long distance than you do seeing one another every day for a year. You really learn to communicate in the absense of one another's company.

I couldn't have said it better! My bf and I learned more about each other in those 3 years LDR than many couples do in a "normal" relationship for the same length of time.

 

[Hediru]

I've noticed a lot of posts listing the pros and cons of an LDR. Here's my 2 cents. lol

Pros
1. You learn to trust each other more because you have to believe that he/she is loyal. (You can't check up on them)
2. You aren't tempted sexually.
3. Every moment that you spend together is special because you don't want to waste a moment.
4. You may even talk more in an LDR because you'll be trying so hard to keep the relationship going.

Cons
1. You can miss out on some of the more basic traits of your partner (i.e. his/her favorite food, his/her good and bad habits etc.)
2. It can be very lonely at times - especially when a situation arises when you'd like to have a date and they can't come (college formals, Friday nights, etc)
3. Sometimes you just need a hug from him/her and you can't get one.

Yeah, LDR's are tough. But the payoff is so worth it in the end.

 

[MN John]

Aww well good luck! I'll be praying for you two as well!

Thank you! Every prayer is appreciated!

 

[xXxKristaxXx]

I was in one twice with the same guy. Its a little hard because he lives soo far away but i found that i am in love with him and when (if) he moves closer i would definately want to be with him. It just seems to bring your heart closer to the other person for some reason, i cant really explain it.. But i do love him even though we never met (it might sound silly but its true)

 

[chocolateloverjen]

Right im gonna list my pros and cons, he he.

pro's-
*we know each other more than we would if we lived near each other.
*we value the time we have together.
*In summer we get to have holidays with each other, so its a really good break and its just awesome.
*We do Bible studys on the phone to each other and we enjoy that we can do that, as when we are together we just want it to be about us for that time as we hardly see each other.
*Its made me realise how much i love him and how lucky i am to have him.

Con's-
*You cant see each other on important days sometimes-like valentines day.
*His friends allways feel they are like meeting a new person all the time, when i come and we havent bonded well. which upsets me.
*Its costly, but hes worth it.
*I get upset alot, expesh around the time of the month.