Long Distance Relationships...

[sweetdarlin2u]

My b/f and I have been together for a year and a half and we love each other soooooooo much. God has been the foundation of it all since the beginning so I have no doubt in my mind that He will make it work... but I'm leaving to college soon - bout 3 hours away. So, I was just wondering how some of the people here are handling it or have handled long distance relationships in the past? What to do and what not to do? Although I am completely positive the end will be favorable any way, I'd rather not hit any bumps along the trail that could be avoided just from hearing peoples' stories and stuff. Thanks so much!!!

in Christ,
danielle b

 

[2soon2see]

Don't stress over it.

Have clear communication about your commitment and stick to your word. I'd say, if you're gonna be 3 hours away. Try to do road trips to meet half way each weekend, because if you don't have the sight of the one you love. Things over time tend to fall apart.... it just natural. And, while you're away, try to collect things to share with him when you do meet up. (ie, pictures, posters, hw and etc.) But I do wish you the best

 

[Mr.Cheese]

3 hours?
I was thankful when holly moved closer so she was only 600 miles away.

 

[Iceman_Aragorn]

3 hours? Thats like from vancouver to seattle.... (the person i like is a good 1000 km (or 577 miles) away.

Just last weekend I went with my roommate from here to seattle just for fun (he was going to pick up his girlfriend who was at her sister's wedding). A quick little roadtrip, is how I thought of it. With the motivation of going to see someone you love....I'd think that much distance would seem all the shorter.

 

[MagicStar723]

My bf left for school last year, 3 hr away. We made it through the first year! It was deffinately tough at times but we know that it in the end it will be worth it. Make sure that you do talk a lot, and talk about everything. Even the small details matter when you are apart. Every weekend really isn't reasonable for us. I mean sometimes I am busy with work or school for the weekend or vice versa, but we do make a point to see eachother everyother weekend, wether I go there or he comes home.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Well. I figured I should say something more useful.

It's hard when college time comes around.
Extend a lot of grace to one another.

 

[lingjanet]

what to worry about? is just 3 hours away, you can always eet up in every weekend. Just keep in touch with him every day through email or phone call...Keep update each others of your daily task.
I am away from my bf in 8 hours journey through air-plane. We have been in long distance for almost 3 years.

 

[YoursTruely45]

My fiance and I are over 18 hours away from each other! He lives in Maryland I live in Florida! We were together for 10 months before I moved but its still hard! You have to stay strong, keep your head high and ALWAYS maintain contact with each other! I wish I was only 3 hours away from my fiance! I am a 2 hour plane ride away! Well...good luck!

 

[plum]

Well if both of you have a way of transportation to get to each other, 3 hours isn't all that far. I went away to school and home was 3 hours away. I could do that for a weekend trip really easily. So don't dispair. There are ways!

 

[sweetdarlin2u]

After hearing so much negativity.. all your comments were incredibly refreshing. Thank y'all all soooooooooo much for the encouragement.

in Christ,
danielle b

 

[BOJAX]

Communication is the key. There is distance in every relationship (unless you are married and living together) my ex lives 3000 miles away and in a different country. If you keep communicating you should have no problem. LDR's can work but only if you WANT them too.

-Jamie

 

[Eccp19]

Also remember that everything is in the Lord's time and if you are meant to be with your boyfriend the rest of your life He will make it work. Don't be fearful of losing your guy. If for some reason it does not work out, just remember that God has something even greater for you. He knows the desires of your heart.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7.

 

[lingjanet]

what to worry about? is just 3 hours away, you can always eet up in every weekend. Just keep in touch with him every day through email or phone call...Keep update each others of your daily task.
I am away from my bf in 8 hours journey through air-plane. We have been in long distance for almost 3 years.

This is the forth year we been together. NOw only i realize it is difficult. We saw each other online everyday. But after being tire and busy with work, we already doesn't have the mood to chat with each other.

His work going not well in oversea. And he started to feel boring and lonely. By only chatting with me doesn't cheer him out. He yeild that he is lonely and me too. What else we can do. I am also tension with my work and I also doesn't have the mood to think of how to cheer him out.

He is desperate of his single life. Most of the time he is single. Be fair with him, I asked him to look for a gf. Yes i told him that. We have promise each other do not tight up on each other. Give more freedom to each other.

But this promises will bring bad news to me. We don't talk so often as we did before

 

[Hediru]

Ah, the LDR. One of my favorite topics to talk about.

My bf and I met in college. He was a senior from outside Chicago, IL. I was a freshman from outside Pittsburgh, PA. The school was in WV. We fell for each other hard and fast and it was all great...until he graduated. It was the toughest 3 years of our lives. We went for months without seeing each other. We had to spend big bucks for one of us to fly out to visit the other and it wasn't cheap. The telephone bills weren't much better, either. Thank goodness for the internet. If it wasn't for free services such as email and IM, we would never have made it. Also, the occasional surprise arriving in the mail was a welcome treat.
He moved down the street from me in October, and things have been great ever since. We see each other everyday, and are very seriously discussing getting engaged.
Good luck with your LDR, and if you ever want advice or just to talk, you can PM me anytime.

 

[Ioannis]

I'll throw my two cents in here. I'm in an LDR right now...and it's really long distance. About 6000 miles (I'm military stationed in Japan). It's not easy. I have to go with what everyone here says. Communication is the most important thing. It also takes a lot of trust. You have to trust your s.o. If you lose even a little bit of trust, thoughts will get in your head that shouldn't be there. Me and my gf do a lot of different things. We talk every day, sometimes for several hours. And on the weekends, I'm usually on the phone all day with her (she'll just take her cell everywhere so it's "almost" like I'm there). We use webcams. We've got them set up so she can see me sitting on my chair over here and I can see her in her room over there so we can be comfortible while talking. We'll go rent the same movie and watch it together over the phone (I use VoIP so it's not expenisive to be on the phone all the time). We just try to find little things to try to help us get closer. Oh, big one...try your best not to get into any arguments, and if you do, resolve them quickly. Nothing worse than being in an argument when you're already in this position. I'll try to think of more ideas. Good luck.

Oh yeah...prayer...God is defintely helping us out!

<Just 2 months til she comes to visit me and 6 more months until I'm stationed back stateside >

 

[Viaken]

5 years ago, I thought online relationships were a load of hooey. I thought they might work for a very few people, but -I- wasn't gonna get caught up in that nonsense.

It's funny how God can humble you.

4 years ago, I met the most wonderful woman I've ever known...who just happened to live 11,000 miles from me.

Just like anything else, the most important thing is God, really. If He's on your side, it'll work out. If not, there's no way you'll make it.

But as far as things you can do, it's already been said. Trust. Communication. As a subset of those two, you -have- to be honest with each other. About everything. Lies damage trust, and even the smallest things can balloon and become big trouble. It's easy to let your imagination run away with you when there's so much distance between you.

Just my 2c. Take it or leave it.

 

[Carri20]

...if you don't have the sight of the one you love. Things over time tend to fall apart.... it just natural.

This is sometimes true, but not always. My husband and I have been long-distance for most of our relationship -- with nearly 1,000 miles between us -- and we've only grown stronger because of it. Being apart forces you to communicate more and that should bring you closer than ever. Just make sure to spend a lot of time "together"...talking on the phone, IMing, or whatever suits you best. For some couples, this can be a wonderful opportunity.

 

[Inperfected]

It's possible. Quite possible. How easy it is, that's an entirely different story...

Be prepared for many things, and work through them. Some include jealousy, lack of talking, lack of seeing each other, pain, anger, frustration, boredom, crying, depression, but also joy and friendship. You will miss the companionship more than anything probably...

I have done a LDR in the traditional sense, but at 6 months engaged I went to Africa for 3 months and had barely any contact with him (bar 1 email, some expensive texts, and 2 20min long phone calls.). Let me tell you, it nearly broke us. Don't let jealousy or confusion get in the way of it, for that is likely to break the strongest of relationships...

 

[MN John]

It's possible. Quite possible. How easy it is, that's an entirely different story...

Be prepared for many things, and work through them. Some include jealousy, lack of talking, lack of seeing each other, pain, anger, frustration, boredom, crying, depression, but also joy and friendship. You will miss the companionship more than anything probably...

I have done a LDR in the traditional sense, but at 6 months engaged I went to Africa for 3 months and had barely any contact with him (bar 1 email, some expensive texts, and 2 20min long phone calls.). Let me tell you, it nearly broke us. Don't let jealousy or confusion get in the way of it, for that is likely to break the strongest of relationships...

Thanks for these words. Good advice!

 

[Mskedi]

My ex went to school three hours away. In my case, we probably stayed together longer than we should have because the distance made us unaware of how serious our problems were. You two have been together longer than we had before he left, though, so I doubt that will be a problem, so on to the good stuff...

We talked daily and spent most weekends together. We told each other even the most minute parts or our day. It helped us feel like we weren't missing out on spending time with each other quite so much.