I'm currently interested in a girl who lives in Michigan and I live in SC. I'm going up in a few weeks to see her. For those of you who are in LDR what are things that you do to get to know each other and become closer since you may not see your SO often. I believe that LRD's can work, but it does take a lot of effort. Any advice or tips?
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Long Distance Relationships
- Thread starter wolfiswill
- Start date
I'm in a LDR! (and engaged! Yes -you're right -they do work!) Well some things you can do when you're together to get to know one another and become closer are often what seem simple things -take walks and talks, play a board-game, go shopping, have a Bible study together, discuss something that'll enable you to discover more about each other -opinions, beliefs, school days, whatever! -anything that encourages good interaction really, and try to be somewhere where you're both comfortable.. (-but try to avoid being TOO comfortable! 
)
Things you can do whilst apart? -write letters! (even if you talk on the 'net every day or phone every week letters always go down well!), send a little card to say you're thinking of them, make phone calls, send some chocolate -it's the little details and those extra little bits of effort that count! All the best!! God bless.
)Things you can do whilst apart? -write letters! (even if you talk on the 'net every day or phone every week letters always go down well!), send a little card to say you're thinking of them, make phone calls, send some chocolate -it's the little details and those extra little bits of effort that count! All the best!! God bless.
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lady_of_god
Well-Known Member
Born_to_try said:I'm in a LDR! (and engaged! Yes -you're right -they do work!) Well some things you can do when you're together to get to know one another and become closer are often what seem simple things -take walks and talks, play a board-game, go shopping, have a Bible study together, discuss something that'll enable you to discover more about each other -opinions, beliefs, school days, whatever! -anything that encourages good interaction really, and try to be somewhere where you're both comfortable.. (-but try to avoid being TOO comfortable!
Things you can do whilst apart? -write letters! (even if you talk on the 'net every day or phone every week letters always go down well!), send a little card to say you're thinking of them, make phone calls, send some chocolate -it's the little details and those extra little bits of effort that count! All the best!! God bless.
Very good advice.... I couldn't have said it better myself
-Lady
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MagicStar723
Well-Known Member
I'll 3rd that! I am in one as well. Just remember in the tough times, look to the end of the tunnel and your goal! Pray and listen to your heart.
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I
InTheFlame
Guest
Focus on getting to know each other. Make sure your conversations aren't just -
- "Oh, I miss my darling"
- "Oh, I miss you too, my sweetie-luvy-darling-pet"
- "How long till we can see each other again?"
- "3 weeks, 6 days, 4 hours and 49 minutes"
- "I can't wait!"
- "Neither can I, I'm gonna hug you so hard..."
- "Same here. I miss you so much..."
(etc)
Use this opportunity to focus on the important stuff... opinions on what's happening in the world today, what God's doing in your individual lives, how church is going, what you're studying in bible study or in your own quiet times... what you think about various issues... etc. Set out a couple of guidelines for your talks if need be, or just let it flow... but watch out for too much frivolous stuff. A little is fine, a lot is just wasted breath Something hubby and I did was to read a chapter of a book on relationships (we got through Boundaries in Dating and part-way through another) and talk about any issues it brought up, your opinions on what you read.
- "Oh, I miss my darling"
- "Oh, I miss you too, my sweetie-luvy-darling-pet"
- "How long till we can see each other again?"
- "3 weeks, 6 days, 4 hours and 49 minutes"
- "I can't wait!"
- "Neither can I, I'm gonna hug you so hard..."
- "Same here. I miss you so much..."
(etc)
Use this opportunity to focus on the important stuff... opinions on what's happening in the world today, what God's doing in your individual lives, how church is going, what you're studying in bible study or in your own quiet times... what you think about various issues... etc. Set out a couple of guidelines for your talks if need be, or just let it flow... but watch out for too much frivolous stuff. A little is fine, a lot is just wasted breath
Something hubby and I did was to read a chapter of a book on relationships (we got through Boundaries in Dating and part-way through another) and talk about any issues it brought up, your opinions on what you read.
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Glorianna
I'm a proud Canadian who married an American!
InTheFlame said:
That's what my LDR fiance and I are doing. We love reading together and then discussing what we think about what we've just read. It's good because it can bring up things we would never think to talk about if it wasn't for the books!
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PurpleBunny
Rabid Purple Bunny of the Apocalypse
Glorianna said:
Chris and I spend a lot of time discussing just about everything under the sun... relationship issues if they come up (mostly just talking out things that haven't come up in general conversation before, like the first time we discussed potential children, finances, etc.), books, games, movies... all the same things we talk about in person. We only fall into the "I miss you so much..." over and over routine if we're really tired (which does happen as we talk on the phone mostly late at night, between 10:00 PM and 11:30 PM(bedtime for me)).
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stonetoflesh
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- Apr 20, 2004
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InTheFlame said:
That's hilarious!
My NSLDR (not-so-long-distance-relationship) gf and I have decided to pick up some of those little bible studies (found on spinning racks in Christian bookstores, know what I'm talking about?) and do some of those together during our phone conversations. After discussing which ones we wanted to do-- "Lifestyle Priorities" and "Romans"-- I picked them up the other day and mailed copies to her; hopefully they'll arrive soon so we can get started!
Fortunately she doesn't live too far away, about 100 miles or so, so we don't have to rely solely on phone/mail/email contact; we've agreed that this is a perfect distance, since it's not so inconvenient that we can't do things together in person but inconvenient enough that we can't spend every spare moment of our time with each other!
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MagicStar723
Well-Known Member
Excellent advice!InTheFlame said:Focus on getting to know each other. Make sure your conversations aren't just -
- "Oh, I miss my darling"
- "Oh, I miss you too, my sweetie-luvy-darling-pet"
- "How long till we can see each other again?"
- "3 weeks, 6 days, 4 hours and 49 minutes"
- "I can't wait!"
- "Neither can I, I'm gonna hug you so hard..."
- "Same here. I miss you so much..."
(etc)
Use this opportunity to focus on the important stuff... opinions on what's happening in the world today, what God's doing in your individual lives, how church is going, what you're studying in bible study or in your own quiet times... what you think about various issues... etc. Set out a couple of guidelines for your talks if need be, or just let it flow... but watch out for too much frivolous stuff. A little is fine, a lot is just wasted breath
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Born_to_try said:
this is the good ideas..distance is doesn't a matter if your have each others in your heart.
you can keep contact with her through alots of ways like email, msn, sms and there is so many ways for you to keep contact right...
sometime, send her a small gifts, small cards or send snail mail will also part away for both of you to get closer.
the most importantly is, your heart are with her and her heart are with you...
without this, no matter what you have done is always wast of enegy and time.
distance will not wider each other gap... the most importantly is you must have communication.
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Mine has worked wonderfullywolfiswill said:
The first trip up wasnt the greatest becuse we hadnt met in person yet, so it was awkward.
The second trip was much better, but still no hand holding or anything.
The third trip was moving here at her request so we could see how it would go.
Best move Ive ever made
A good trick to overcoming an LDR is to take the LDR out of it as soon as possible.
Absense makes the heart grow fonder.
Too much absense makes the heart forget.
(especially when that new cutie starts working at the office
)
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Glorianna
I'm a proud Canadian who married an American!
Grishnak said:Mine has worked wonderfully
The first trip up wasnt the greatest becuse we hadnt met in person yet, so it was awkward.
The second trip was much better, but still no hand holding or anything.
The third trip was moving here at her request so we could see how it would go.
Best move Ive ever made
A good trick to overcoming an LDR is to take the LDR out of it as soon as possible.
Absense makes the heart grow fonder.
Too much absense makes the heart forget.
(especially when that new cutie starts working at the office
That sounds like my experience.
We met on CF and he came up here to visit me. That first visit was kind of awkward because we'd never met in person before.
But the second visit was wonderful. I went to visit him over Christmas and really got along with his family. He proposed and I accepted.
Now I'm going to be moving to South Carolina, where he lives, in December or January.
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Ave Maria
Ave Maria Gratia Plena
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I'm in a long distance relationship and although we do a lot of the hugging and stuff, we also do a lot of talking to each other about each other. Right now she is helping me to get over my depression and stuff.
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aawwwwGlorianna said:That sounds like my experience.
We met on CF and he came up here to visit me. That first visit was kind of awkward because we'd never met in person before.
But the second visit was wonderful. I went to visit him over Christmas and really got along with his family. He proposed and I accepted.
Now I'm going to be moving to South Carolina, where he lives, in December or January.
we met here too
I know the web is unsafe lots of times, but for those who find someone they couldnt find at home it sure seems to be a blessing
Good luck.
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S
Silver Speak
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Grishnak said:I know the web is unsafe lots of times, but for those who find someone they couldnt find at home it sure seems to be a blessing
Each to their own. I know I wouldn't pursue it anymore 'cause things sure didn't work out for me. The signs were there all along, though -I just ignored them. Just be very cautious
I think it's very unlikely that the person you meet online turns out to be mental, or something alike; I would pay more attention on my expectations 'cause it's difficult to set realistic ones.
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