long distance relationships

[seangoh]

Hey guys..i just have a question to pose. Any comments about a long distance relationship? i ask coz i'm unsure whether to embark on one. I like a girl that's not in my country but problem is i don't really know her long enough so to me it seems abit risky. Well, she likes me too but she's hesitant on starting a relationship with me coz we barely know each other. Ok. So what should i do? I plan to start calling her so that would allow us to talk more but...hai..i don't know...btw she's in indonesia and i actually plan to fly there a few times a year if we get together..i also even contemplated getting a job there but.....maybe the big expanse of water between us seems such a big problem and is getting to me..help.

 

[Jon_]

Hey guys..i just have a question to pose. Any comments about a long distance relationship? i ask coz i'm unsure whether to embark on one. I like a girl that's not in my country but problem is i don't really know her long enough so to me it seems abit risky. Well, she likes me too but she's hesitant on starting a relationship with me coz we barely know each other. Ok. So what should i do? I plan to start calling her so that would allow us to talk more but...hai..i don't know...btw she's in indonesia and i actually plan to fly there a few times a year if we get together..i also even contemplated getting a job there but.....maybe the big expanse of water between us seems such a big problem and is getting to me..help.

Lot's of long-distance relationships end up working out, but I've never been able to bring myself to maintain one. It's just too hard for me. Also, in the case that you meet another girl in your own area and you start to fall for her, it will be difficult to stay faithful to your (long-distance) girlfriend. It's much easier to keep your focus on the object of your affection if you can lay your eyes on her. Ahhh, it makes all the difference in the world. Believe me. Women are nice to look at.

 

[JPPT1974]

I am kind of lost since those seem to be kind of hard at mainting if you want to pay a huge, huge phone bill. As well as not see each other that much face-to-face.

 

[sweetlambofgod]

rarely works out

 

[seangoh]

ok i get responses that lots of LDRs work out and rarely work out...lol

 

[jenn82]

I haven't had good times with long distance relationships. But I know several people who have. I wouldn't say the reason that mine didn't work out was because I had a hard time being faithful to the one I was in a relationship with. More because we didn't have real comunication, I don't want to discourage you, because if it is God's will and it is meant to happen then it will all work out. If it isn't it will be more pain than it's worth. Be sure you pray about it first!

 

[Iggster]

Moving for this woman you barely know is a huge commitment on your part. Are you really prepared to move for her? Is she prepared for you to even move there? Something tells me you're moving too fast, too soon. If you are not careful, you'll spook her.

LDRs, or SDRs (short distance relationship).....Doesn't matter what the heck it is. They both have their pros and cons. But the bottom line is," It takes two willing and consenting adults to make a relationship work." You can have a g/f in your town and still not make it work.

Just my .02 cents.

 

[country woman]

I my self have never been in a long distance relationship before But I had a friend who has and it worked out. I do not recommend this to every one .

 

[dailob]

i think that type of relationship wouldn't work out... if you guys lived within a reasonable distance.. then maybe

 

[justasinner]

I had a Prof. at my local University which for 6 years his wife was at Penn. State getting her Phd. His wife would fly down every school holiday and between semesters. And they would use email and the phone to be connected.

Now, they are living and teaching at a different University. From what I have heard from other profs. they have children and are doing well.

Plus, anyone that has a family member that is in the military knows, that the her/his family can stay together but it is hard.

So, it can work. Its just hard to do and people have to know it is temporary.

 

[lady_of_god]

Long distance relationship can work but my suggestion is to pray about and see if this is all worth it. God is your best counselor on this

-Lady

 

[seangoh]

Its just hard to do and people have to know it is temporary.

Thanks..that's one of the best advice i got.

 

[wvmtnkid]

I think it just depends on how much the two people involved are willing to work at the relationship. It could work if the both of you are willing to work through some of the hardships together, like not seeing each other a lot and doing most of your communicating over the phone or internet. And just as justasinner said, if the relationship does work out, this will hopefully only be a temporary separation. I do think getting to know each other better before making a decion to start a relationship would be a good idea. And of course, always make sure there is a third party involved in whatever you do-God!

 

[JPPT1974]

I worry about people seeing each other in person which seems very rarely.

 

[seangoh]

hey guys..my "problem" has been settled yesterday. It was a very weird and surprising end to this back and forth kind of problem. I'll just cut and paste from my blog.

About the bgr issue, we've finally settled it. The problem was, we weren't sure how best to start or end this complicated and weird relationship. Today, we finally realised that God had put us together to accomplish His plans. IOW, plan A was God's plan for me and plan B was God's plan for her. So basically we talked about it today and both of us were in fact happy and relieved. The focus was not about OUR relationship and whether we started but the focus was on what God was doing in our lives just by bringing us together. Yes, plan A and B were successful and i'm really happy and relieved. That's all that matters now. Maybe some of you might ask, "you seem happy that you're not together!" But that's really not the point. The point is whether God's will was done. And God's will was accomplished! These few days i've been trying to figure out what is God really doing. It's like a jigsaw puzzle where i find pieces and put them together to form the whole picture. I completed the puzzle, showed it to her and we both were happy. Too weird for you to know maybe, but it's just amazing.

“For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Saviour; Who will have all men to be saved, and to come unto the knowledge of the truth.” 1 Tim 2:3-4

 

[JPPT1974]

God's will and his time will always be accomplished but we have to put faith in both of them. Because if we do, they will always turn out right. Unlike our earthly view which can take a very wrong turn if we don't depend on the Lord.