I'm in Canada, and my boyfriend is in Germany (yikes). Just wondering if anyone had some advice for a healthy, 'worth fighting for' relationship?
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Long Distance Relationship
- Thread starter desiringgod03
- Start date
K9_Trainer
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Not sure how much help I can be. None of mine were really worth it.
I'm not sure what the situation is behind yours. But I met two of my ex's online, we were on opposite ends of the US, and our in-person time was limited as a result. I feel like being long distance just drug the relationship out longer than it needed to be. If we had more time in person, then I'm very certain we would have figured out much sooner that we weren't right for each other. It ended up just being a waste of time. The only positive that came out of one of them is that we probably learned more about ourselves and what we both actually did want/need in a significant other, and what things we are willing to compromise and not willing to compromise.
Anyway, the best I can tell you is to spend as much time in person together as you possibly can, and make it NOT a long distance relationship as soon as you can. A long distance relationship misses a lot of stuff...There's a lot of things going on in in-person interactions, a lot of other dynamics, that you can't even come close to emulating when you aren't physically together. Talk regularly. Skype is great for voice and video chatting, there's no charge. If you have iPhones, you should be able to use the FaceTime option with no charge. With the video chatting, you can at least see each other and show each other things that your doing or things in your environment. You may both get busy, but you have to make time for each other.
I'm not sure what the situation is behind yours. But I met two of my ex's online, we were on opposite ends of the US, and our in-person time was limited as a result. I feel like being long distance just drug the relationship out longer than it needed to be. If we had more time in person, then I'm very certain we would have figured out much sooner that we weren't right for each other. It ended up just being a waste of time. The only positive that came out of one of them is that we probably learned more about ourselves and what we both actually did want/need in a significant other, and what things we are willing to compromise and not willing to compromise.
Anyway, the best I can tell you is to spend as much time in person together as you possibly can, and make it NOT a long distance relationship as soon as you can. A long distance relationship misses a lot of stuff...There's a lot of things going on in in-person interactions, a lot of other dynamics, that you can't even come close to emulating when you aren't physically together. Talk regularly. Skype is great for voice and video chatting, there's no charge. If you have iPhones, you should be able to use the FaceTime option with no charge. With the video chatting, you can at least see each other and show each other things that your doing or things in your environment. You may both get busy, but you have to make time for each other.
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Thunder Peel
You don't eat a peacock until it's cooked.
You never know how God may bring you together. My fiancée lives in another state and we're getting married later this year. I know that's a bit different than separate countries but if you feel that God is leading you two into a relationship then don't be afraid to explore it and see where it leads. Yes, long-distance relationships are tough but just like any other relationship they'd doable with hard work and communication.
Go for it and see what happens. You never know!
Go for it and see what happens. You never know!
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atlantaliv
Believer
It's the other way around for me I am in germany and my boyfriend is in the U.S., I am a student in the U.S. and I am oming back in a month. It's hard being apart from him, but the most important thing for a long distance relationship is trust. Do you trust him? Is your foundation in Christ? I am telling you if I didn't love god and lean on god to get me through this time me and him wouldn't be together. I know that for an absolute fact. If you want more advice or you're havong a bad day, you can always message me.
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katautumn
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I think it largely depends on your circumstances. Most LDRs that last are ones in which two people met in person first and then had to go their separate ways temporarily, like for work, school or military service. Relationships that begin online that stay long distance with little to no in-person interaction rarely make it. I had two that not only failed, but were very painful. Neither guy was who they portrayed themselves as online and over the phone. One drove all the way from another state just to say, "it's over. I'm still in love with my ex-girlfriend" and then talked to her on his cell phone the entire time we were at dinner. The other flew in for two weeks and it was the most miserable two weeks of my life. I couldn't wait for him to go back home. In fact, I think I talked him into changing his departure flight to a day earlier.
Just keep your focus on Christ and be open to whatever He has in store for you. LDRs seem fun and safe at first, but they are difficult to maintain.
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K9_Trainer
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Yes, my last ex was not at all what he seemed to be online. It wasn't something you could really tell until you actually got to interact face to face or see how he interacted with other people. Sorry to hear that you didn't have nice experiences either
Bottom line: Face to face time is critical.
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